Since the weather has turned a little warmer the past week we have gone outside to play. Well my 2 year old son seems to want to take off running away from me. We live on a dangerous 2 lane road that people speed way over the 25mph limit and Im scared to death he's gonna run into the road. We live on a hillside and the only flat is our small front yard and in order to go to the backyard we have to go out the front door and down the hill so there's no avoiding the road. Another problem is he wants to go to his grandparents house which is next door (about 300yards away) so he takes off towards their house. I take off running after him but he just laughs and runs faster till he either trips and falls or I actually catch him which he is really fast so Im scared he might actually make it to the road one day before I catch him. How can I teach him to stay away from the road and not run from me? I just told my daughter it was dangerous and thats all it took for her but he didnt listen. I should add, I have a moneky leash thing and he doesnt understand how it works. It involves a lot of him twisting and falling and it getting wrapped around his neck and after trying for 6 months of using it he still doesnt get it.
I'm with Jen P. I have a very independent new 2 year old and a newborn. I explained to my 2 year old a few months ago that unless she listened to me and cooperated, we would not be able to go places or play outside.
She ran away from me at the library one day, we left, and she hasn't run from me since.
So, tell him if he doesn't' stay within eye sight and follow the "red light game," then he can't play outside.
This situation sounds dangerous enough that you want to take immediate action when he runs. Obviously he thinks it's all a game and will continue to do it until you get him to understand how serious it is. Catching him and bringing him back to your yard won't work since he'll do it again. I would start by telling him that if he runs from you, you will take him inside and he won't be allowed to play outdoors. A few times of making him come in after running may cure it. If not, you could make a point of having to hold his hand or carry him or strap him in a stroller whenever you set foot outside for as long as you're outside. Once he understands that his freedom depends on him stopping when you tell him/not running away, I bet he'll stop it! Good luck!
All children develop at different rates. Though your daughter could understand that she shoudn't run away from you, it's still not developmentally appropriate to expect your son to have the same skills at age 2.
My concern is that you could spend all the time teaching him the importance of not running away, but there's no guarantee that he will always follow the rules. He is only two, and just one excited moment where forgets what you taught him could end with disaster.
When my son was two, he always ran from me. My solution was to never have him in a dangerous situation unrestrained. Despite the fact that he was around 35 pounds, I carried him frequently because he would not hold my hand. I also strapped him inthe stroller a lot.
Now he is three and he does not run away from me and he willingly holds my hand. He just needed more time to develop that undestanding. I could have punished him at age two to make him follow rules most of the time, but it seemed much easier to me to accept his developmental stage. Now he understands the rules, and we skipped the drama.
You can teach your child to fear punishment, but you can't teach him to understand the dangers of his actions until he is developmentally ready to do it.
First thing I would do is hold his hand BEFORE you even open the front door. Or go straight out the back door instead. If you are holding his hand before you open the front door, you lead him to the grandparents house or you lead him out to play. Next thing I would do is ALWAYS stay on the street side of him. When he is playing, you stand on street side at all times so if he does run, you are closest to the road. Lastly, when I was younger my dad put up a nice split rail fence. Animals and kids can go under it or over it but a two year old could not. He would have to duck and crawl before he could make it to the road and by that time you could get to him. Those fences are nice looking and add character while being a bumper to the road if your son does take off. It can easily be removed as he gets older. You can call the city or county and see if they can add a stop sign or if they can add a 'children at play' sign or a speed limit sign. Good luck
can you put up a gate or something to block the road? I am not sure that he will understand logic like you will get hurt ect. maybe you can try something fun like a freeze game. you tell the child that he can pick any word he wants (monkey something silly) and any time he hears the word he has to freeze. then you play it inside like a game for a while with TONS of praise when he listens. then you move the game outside. then you just use it for when you need it. or you can put something in the ground as a marker: cool rock he paints etc...then tell him that he can run in the yard, but once he gets to the rock he must stop and wait for you. also giving tons of priase when he listens. my last suggestion is Kinderkord Child Safety Restraint System, I was thinking of trying this and it looks and sounds much safer than other child leash things LOL. good luck!
My 2 year old runs too. I think most do. I just bought a "monkey on my back" child leash. You might put that on him until you get to a safe place to play. They sell them everywhere, but I got mine at walmart for like, $13.
I agree, I have a Buddy Pack for my son (It is a combination backpack/stuffed animal/leash). You can choose amongst a teddy bear, a monkey, and a dog. They sell them at Walmart and Target for a great price. I love it; my son is 1.5 yrs, and I have used it on walks and at the Minneapolis Science Museum (a blessing there!). He sometimes gets upset when he can't go where he wants, but… that is why I have it. So he can't run away from me.
God bless!
M. D
this will sound hards but every time you tell him to stop and he doesnt listen once you catch him put him in time out for 2 mins. tell him why hes there when times up thats it let it go he will learn that its not ok to run from you.i wish their was an easy solution that would help you like tomorrow but you just have to keep at it
Agreed that this sounds like a fun game for him and agreed that no matter how good the coaching, relying on his wits to keep him from the road is dangerous. I think of it like having a puppy (sorry I have boys and the resemblance is striking), in that same situation, you couldn't trust a puppy to not run in the road and if a tragedy happened, it would not be the puppy's fault. I would say to baby proof your yard. This might mean purchasing one of those plastic orange "fences" or something that is very visual and limiting. Involve the kid in knowing why you are putting it up and why it is so dangerous. Yes your house and yard will look hideous but it is a small price to pay for a short while.
Otherwise, I did what another mom suggested, when I came to a situation where I couldn't trust my little one to listen, I kept him strapped into a stroller. Sometimes this was quite undignified for him and he felt insulted having to be in a "baby stroller", but I explained carefully that it was the only way I knew he would stay safe. I was even known to carry the carseat to a location to get across the idea that the only way I felt safe was to get him tied down.
Having said that I feel like Joan Crawford, but in reality, I seeked out play areas that had limitations built in so I could let him roam freely i.e. a shopping mall - he could ping around inside a massive building with only social graces to upset, no real safety issues with me following behind.
So don't make the monkey thing or stroller or any solution a "punishment", just an extra measure you had to take to insure safety.
A few suggestions -- first, make sure all of your doors have locks that he cannot open. For us, this meant adding on a chain bolt, high up on the door. When you open the door to go out, hold his hand and do not let go, no matter how much he protests. Explain to him that because he runs away from you, he must hold your hand when you go outside.
I can't envision how the monkey backpack is so difficult to get on. Are you allowing him to put it on himself, or are you putting it on him? My son sits on my lap or on a chair while I put it on him, and then I immediately put it around my wrist so that he cannot play with the leash and wrap it around his neck (my son's been wrapping cords around his neck since he was in the womb ;) )
If he continues to run away, he must have immediate consequences which involve ending his playtime and going indoors. Once you are indoors, put him in a time out. My son is gradually getting better, but every trip outside continues to be a constant exercise in parental vigilance.
