2Nd Wifes Honeymoon - Making Me Feel Creepy.

Huh? That IS creepy! I feel kinda bad for the new wife. I'm a second wife myself, and if my husband tried to give me his ex's engagement ring and take me on the same honeymoon I would be livid! (And probably would not have married him. ;) ) What a jerk!

Ewww! I hope she doesn't know or find out about these "coincidences" - b/c he may end up twice divorced.

Poor wife #2 I wonder if she knows all this. It is very strange and if I were her I would not be happy with all the seconds. Better her then you I guess.

Just be glad she's the one getting your sloppy seconds instead of the other way around.

Let's say a prayer for the girl...she needs it.

I think this is a guy thing -- one of those "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" type of difference. Most of us would NEVER "re-use" or "recycle" things from previous relationships. But many guys aren't creative enough to re-define things after major changes. I'll bet he simply thought "this is where you go on a honeymoon" and "this is a perfect ring," etc. (Plus, he probably needed to hold off on the travel until your daughter was out of school.) It doesn't have anything to do with you -- it's that he's a simpleton who has trouble changing his ways or breaking out of his routines.

I do understand how you feel, so I don't think you are crazy at all. I was in a *vaguely* similar situation (things other than rings and honeymoons) and I initially thought it was very weird. But then I realized it had absolutely nothing to do with me -- the guy just couldn't come up with a new, original idea of his own (which is one of many reasons he wasn't the right guy for me.) Just keep repeating to yourself, "No longer my problem! No longer my problem" and ignore!

Weird - yes. I wouldn't say a thing to either of them. It will just make you look disgruntled. Just be happy he isn't your concern anymore!

Whoa... weird.
This is not "coincidence."

Did he divorce you or did you divorce him?

Does his current wife even KNOW that you/he went on your Honeymoon there and that their Honeymoon is actually on "your" Anniversary date?

Real. Weird.

Sounds to me like your ex simply has little imagination. It takes less effort to cover the same ground than it does to come up with something original. Sure, the new wife's honeymoon should be a wonderful experience for her. And it probably will be. The ring? Same thing – it's new to her. And who can say the timing is anything more than sheer coincidence? If they have a child with them, you can be pretty sure they won't have the exact same honeymoon you did ;-).

At any rate, it's their business now, not yours. If you give your own life the attention it deserves, you won't find too much time to worry about other people's affairs. Relax and enjoy YOUR experiences.

I do not think he is being creepy, just lazy. He knew you liked these things, and so he just used what he knew worked. I would not want to take my vacation in December, so that may be the reason for the wait, but he really should have thought of something more original. Either way, I would stay out of it, he is not longer your concern except for where it comes to parental issues.

I have only 1 question - Why do you care? You obviously have unresolved feelings or you would not take the time to bring this up and post it here. You sound maybe a bit jealous in some weird way. You capitalize those certain words, tons of question marks and claim you feel the new Mrs should have her own thing. Again - why do you care?

Yes, this is weird and frankly he sounds like a total knucklehead. I can understand how this might eat away at you, but you need to step back and look at this from a different perspective.

Instead of feeling hurt that he took her to 'your' special honeymoon location & recycled the ring, you should be thinking, 'I am so fortunate to be rid of such a complete, shallow, selfish, unoriginal cheapskate.'

And don't worry, if she doesn't know by now how lame he is, she will soon enough. So flick that annoying little bug off your shoulder, take a deep breath and keep moving forward!

I left my husband in March and he took her to the place we spent our 5 yr wedding anniversary and I was upset. Its only human to be upset and I think its kinda jerky of him to do that to his new wife and if I was her and found out I would be very upset. But I agree with the others, I wouldnt tell her, if she does find out let it be by someone else.

My first thought was that he's lazy - went to the trouble once, so just make use of it all again. Then I asked my husband to read your post and what his thoughts were. He said, "That's just weird and creepy."

I'm glad you are being kind to the unwitting 2nd wife, though.

I wonder what wife # 3 will get?? He is lazy so probably the same stuff!! LOL!

Yep, creepy, and why is your daughter going on their honeymoon? I'd steer clear as much as possible.

Yeah, he's weird. I agree, she would be hurt if she knew, but I kinda think she needs to know. Maybe in a couple of years if it ever comes up in casual conversation. He sounds like a bit of a cheapskate to recycle your ring like that too. Sounds like maybe he may be making choices like this to hurt you, well, don't give him that control.

i agree with michelle that it is kind of strange. but keep it to your self

My vote = BIZARRE!

The Honeymoon spot didn't strike me half has creepy as the ring being the same duplicate as yours.

It sounds to me like your Ex is trying to make you jealous??? Although, I didn't get from your post that this is bothering you or that you're jealous.

If my ex did all this I would be dumbfounded too!

When my ex remarried I remember telling ppl that he is her problem now, not mine LOL!

Yes kind of weird and creepy - and you are so right not to tell her anything.

My cousin Michelle's ex - married another woman named Michelle whose father was also named Angelo. That is creepy - but usually exs are exs for a reason. So enjoy your freedom.

I would have thought it really weird if my husband wanted to go on our honeymoon the same place he went with his ex-wife and especially weird to have the honeymoon- not right after the wedding, but to wait until months later- for a time that happened to be the anniversary of his last honeymoon. Not only that-- it's weird to take a child along on your honeymoon especially if you have shared custody. Wouldn't they want some romantic alone time. The good news is that all of that weirdness is on him and now his new wife, it is not a reflection of you.

I know what you mean.
My ex is now with the woman he was living with before he and I met and married. (btw he treats her just like he did me. He screamed at her in the middle of the night a few months ago when she was 9 months preggers.) They broke up for some really odd reason, or other. Now back together after 16 years. They just had a child together. His 4th, her first. Both are in their mid to late 40's.
He's an abuser. Like I said above he yelled at her in the middle of the night when she was 9 monhs preggers, that is was all her fault that his life sucks. My youngest son was there, cowering in the corner.
I was his second wife. He won't marry this one. Says he doesn't need a piece of paper......
I wouldn't be surprised if your ex and his new wife don't last long. It's sad really, that he didn't care enough about her to do something new.

That is creepy....he sounds lazy and unimaginative! Be glad you've moved on!

def. wierd but not your problem. Let it go. eeew I didn't realize new wife didn't know. I would somehow casually let it slip. Or say "wow" that is the exact same ring...huh..just put it together, same ring, same wedding date, same honeymoon weird huh? She deserves to know that she might be marrying a wierdo

I would tell her before she has kids with creep

k, I don't know the details, but yes from what you have said it is really creepy and really weird. Don't have any advice, but yeah...very strange.

Totally bizarro. Not sure what the psychology is behind it, but it does seem a little wacky that he's recreating things. Were you the one who called it off? Perhaps he's still wishing he was with you.

Hello
it is kinda weird, on the other hand, people (esp men) are creatures of habits... that's why they will buy the SAME razor brand for years and years. the idea being if THEY think something isn't broke, why fix it. .Hence, he may like Hawaii and too , sometimes it's easier to go back to what you know then to try something new. That said.... if I were him, I think I would prefer to do something different, however, even one of my friends , after she divorced, eventually went back with her NEW boyfriend to the exact same spot where she and her ex used to go.......
I really thought in her case, she would go somewhere else since SHE was the one to initiate the divorce.....but she went there AND many other places with the new guy. So do I think it's weird.. YES.. but again, people (not all) are creatures of habit... which I think is also why people get into a rut or have habits that are hard for them to break.. This includes where people vacation.
I just hope your daughter had fun.. that should be the main concern, but I know what you mean about it seeming so weird...... by this time next year, hopefully, those two people aren't on your radar screen and when you anniversary rolls by, you ll have forgotten it. It takes time to NOT think of certain events in one's life. but if you begin to train your mind now a little at a time, you can do it.
best of luck

He's the creep and it's obvious he has not imagination. I agree it would only hurt her and it wouldn't do any good to tell her. She will find out later that he may not be so romantic as she may think.

If it was me I too would find it strange be but glad I didn't have it to deal with anymore.

You aren't crazy to notice the obvious he's weird seems like to me he wants to relive the past but with someone else. Hey here's something that will freak you out...
You know how everyone is s'pose to have a twin? well a few years after my last divorce I was visiting my ex in laws whom loved me and I loved them. Anyway, my ex and his wife were in a pic my ex mother in law was showing me others folks in it too....the new wife looked like me I had to take a double take I thought (when was I in this pick?) then I said o, wow she kinda looks like me...
My ex mother in law said yeah I know weird isn't it...I called her your name once and she freaked out....I said yeah this is weird don't show me any more pics with her in it....o well u never know men are weird birds

That's creepy but at the same time, it doesn't surprise me...LOL

I agree with the fact that it is too wierd, AND that it is none of your business - save the fact that he TOOK YOUR DAUGHTER!!! What?!? Why wouldn't he want a real honeymoon instead of just a vacation? (Just wondering, it is none of my business either....lol)

I also wonder why he gave her the engagement and wedding ring designed for you when you should still have it. Why did you give it back?? He gave it to you so it is yours, right? You could have had it redesigned into another ring or other piece of jewelry.

Feel free to reach around and give yourself a big old pat on the back for wisening up and leaving this unimaginative loser.....some men just never learn.

If you left him, it might be that your ex wasn't completely over you, and is choosing this significant date (your anniversary) to get over you by taking a new woman to the same place. In a way, it could be something of a healing for him - to erase the old memories and replace them with new. I don't know, but this is my guess.

Sounds like your ex is just cheap and unimaginative. I wouldn't waste your time wondering why he chose the same day and place, the ring part is weird, though. More importantly why is your daughter going on their Honeymoon? talk about having needing your own special time and place!

Wow, yes, I would have to agree with you that it all sounds a little strange.. Hmmm.. But I would really not allow it to bother you that much since now the problem is not yours to worry about but hers now. She should really be the one questioning the whole ring thing and same date and honeymoon.. Maybe he just really didn't get over you.

That is very weird. You are totally justified in your feelings either way but I think you are right. I wonder if she knows those rings were yours and that you went to Maui also. Your EX is weird.

Reading this made me laugh and wonder - did you divorce him because he was dense, unimaginative, or lazy? LOL

wow. that is odd. really I agree. well I guess he had such a nice time at yours he wanted to do it again LOL. maybe that helps? anyways glad you wont tell her: she might see it as something crazy like you are jealous and what does it matter she will find out about him for herself, nothing you say will matter. but yeah odd.....

?????????????????? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats is soo no right!! My personal thought is that it was so great with you he wants to experience it again with her? just throwin that out there...Does she know its your anniversary and that you went to the same place?? But the whole ring thing F that I would be ticked off if I were you...You have every right in the world to think this is creepy

That is creepy and the first thing I think of (we watch a lot of horror movies) is he is a serial killer. It sounds like a movie I watched once I think you should be glad you are not with him anymore. That is just wrong on so many levels.

It's weird alright! The 2nd wife is probably not aware she is being lied to. That cann't be right. He is using her to hurt you, which shows he was very affected by your divorce.

You are right, she deserves better than what she is getting but it's none of your business. If you do say anything now, people will say you are jealous.

Let him lie on the bed he is making, believe me, it's a thorny one.

Take care of yourself, move on.

If I were you, I would rejoice in the fact that you got away from a man who seems shallow, selfish and vindictive and feel sorry for his current victim who must have such a low self esteem as to accept someone else's custom designed ring and go on the same honeymoon her husband and ex-wife did...incredible. Love you daughter and raise her to love herself. Congrats to you for getting away!!!

Let me guess - he has NO imagination? : )

I'd be creeped out too.

If it was a nasty divorce then maybe he's trying to replace his current association with the date and place?

Maybe she's trying to?

Maybe he just doesn't have a creative bone in his body and it's easier for him to just do what he's done in the past?

Sounds like a good thing that you've released him.

Ha-ha, I don't think is creepy. It is just that your ex has no imagination to think of another place and probably he doesn't remember that it is your anniversary. Your daughter being there - this is a vacation, not Honeymoon. And next time you go through a divorce, you flush the rings in the toilet, you might enjoy the look on his face watching them go. Good luck!