2Nd Grade Open House

She said very positive things, just not the same positive things the other teacher reported. Wait until the conference.

I think it was ok to ask. And I also think that it was ok for her to not really answer. Some teachers volunteer this kind of info, and others prefer to wait until they are one-on-one with parents. And I don't see her comments as negative at all. You said you know he's quiet (and quiet is a perfectly nice personality trait), and she said he's meticulous which to me is a compliment.

If you don't have any specific concerns - he seems like like school - then I'd wait until regular conference time. If you have a specific concern, then set one up sooner.

oh, sweetie, you are SO over-thinking this.
yes, it wasn't exactly the right venue. but that's okay, it was a spontaneous question, and i'm sure you didn't offend or disconcert the teacher.
but there's absolutely no need to be upset by her honest, thoughtful answer. clearly you were eliciting a 'good' response, ie one that validates your own opinion of your kid, and of your parenting. no shame in that- we all like to hear our kids' praises sung, and to bask a little in the reflected glory.
and she didn't give you any negatives. i love that she didn't feel pressured to give you what you were clearly looking for, but gave you the straight stuff- and there's not a thing wrong with that. being quiet and meticulous aren't pejoratives, right? that's her perception. maybe your kid is loud and boisterous and boingy at home. if so, it's GOOD for you to know how differently he behaves in a school setting right? and if it simply reinforces what you know to be true about your kid, how can it be a negative?
love that she gently reiterated with you that she's only barely met the kids. it would be dishonest of her to pretend she's got the total picture after this very short length of time.
and as for setting up a conference, that's the obvious next step if you're REALLY concerned that he might not be off to a great start, or if anything short of an enthusiastic paean of praise doesn't sit right with you. but i don't think that's the case. you seem a sensible sort.
you're just over-thinking.
no, it's not the end of the world. yes, she WAS prepared to answer. she gave you a great answer. it's not on her that you're taking it and running in wild directions with it. if you're really biting your nails, schedule a conference. do NOT relegate this to email- you're so overwrought now that you'll almost certainly misinterpret the easily-misinterpreted venue of email.
and don't apologize. you have nothing to apologize for.
the only way your son WON'T have a great year is if you obsess over this.
deep breath, hon. your kid is fine. his teacher sounds great. all is well.
khairete
S.

I think you are overworried about this. I'm sure the teacher has had many parents--not just you--ask this in an offhand way, and so she redirected you to the conference. I'd say that if you are worried about a particular aspect, then do email her. Otherwise, there is no negative answer in this. He obviously isn't a problem for her, she has noticed that he cares about his work, noticed that he's not the loudest kid in the room--- these are all good things. It may also be her personality, too, that instead of giving you a glib 'he's fine', she's telling you actual, concrete things she has noticed. As a former preschool teacher, I would be very happy with this sort of a detailed response. She is noticing who your child and instead of using words which describe *her* judgment of him (good, fine, all words which indicate approval without actually conveying knowledge of the student) she used very specific descriptions.

But please, don't beat yourself up over this. We just did "back to school" last night as well...those teachers are tired. They have spent the day teaching and then the afternoon and evening prepping the classroom and explaining their curriculum. She's just wiped out. :)
And no, an apology is NOT necessary! Don't sweat it!

You are over thinking this.
For our son - he has a 'wait and see' style of learning.
He ALWAYS like to watch/learn all the rules before jumping in.
EVERY YEAR at EVERY back to school night - the teachers would tell me he's so quiet and needs to speak up more in class.
And then they'd have trouble getting him to shut up the rest of the year!
It's nothing to worry about.
If you want to schedule a teachers conference then do it - there's no harm in it.

It's not the end of the world. You know from being on the other side that parents ask this all the time, even if it isn't the appropriate time. Is she aware that you are also a teacher? Obviously, she wasn't prepared to answer, but managed to give you her general observations (which fit with what you know about your child--he's quiet, perhaps introverted, and needs time to warm up--get to know a person, but when he does he's fine, like around his friends). She asked if you set up a conference b/c perhaps she is concerned there is something she has missed and you might be trying to share vital information with her. ?
I am not a teacher, but I have had many tell me that they purposefully do not look at previous year's student information/notes so as not to form preconceived ideas about the children. That after they get a feel for each child's personality/performance/typical behavior, THEN they might go back and read the previous notes from previous teachers.

Just because your child was comfortable in his previous class setting doesn't mean he won't be comfortable in his current one in a few weeks. Was he comfortable on DAY 1 in his 1st grade class? I doubt it. And the older the kids get, the more they become aware of things outside themselves, and perhaps a little more cautious in opening up.

I think you are over thinking this. Does your child seem happy? Does he seem to enjoy school? Have anything negative to say about his lessons, the teacher, or classmates? That's what I would go with. I imagine in 2nd grade, the rules are a bit more stifling than in first grade, and that might also be reflected in your child not participating as readily as he might have before. Or it could simply be a reflection of the teacher's bias. Perhaps his first grade teacher is an introvert and saw his participation level through that lens, while his current teacher is an extrovert, and sees through the perspective of that lens.
If your child doesn't seem stressed and seems to enjoy his time at school... then you are worrying too much.

I think you're overthinking things. It's still early in the year and she probably hasn't had enough time to get to know your son very well yet. If it really bothers you, send her an email and ask if she thinks a conference is necessary or if your son is doing fine.

OMG, I would love to her something...Anything. I would have been annoyed with "Oh, he's fine."

Take it as constructive info to help your child.

I usually reserve those questions for the parent-teacher interviews, but I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure you are not the only parent who asked (we probably have too at some point). It's natural to want to know.

We had a curriculum night and there were parents deep in discussion with our teacher. They field a lot of questions. So let it go - but definitely follow up. Sometimes teachers don't quite get our kids right away - especially one month in. They may have some concerns that are very minor, but communicate this poorly. I had a phone call last year where the teacher left a message (we were out) that said "Just want to make sure your child is enjoying school - they don't seem to be."

I fretted over that! It was her introduction call she made to all the parents but that's what she left on my machine! and this teacher was close to retiring - you would think she would know that would upset a mom. It was just such a weird comment. My child was like yours - a bit shy and reserved to begin with, social with friends and family. And this got better over the school year.

I think it was ok, just let it go, but go in for a chat or to follow up.

Good luck :)

You are WAAAAYY overthinking this. I can't imagine why you are giving this a second thought.

You asked a simple question. She gave a simple response. She's busy, don't bug her with trivialities, and no need to apologize. I doubt she's given it a second thought.

You're a specialist teacher, so you should know about boundaries and about how to talk to another teacher.

Email her. Apologize for asking the question at an inappropriate time when she was probably exhausted from prepping the room for the open house to show all the parents what's going on with the whole class. Apologize for asking for specific input on your child when she didn't have thoughts of individual children on her mind. Say that, as a teacher, you really know better, but your parent "head" got control of you. Our schools send out Open House notices with specific directions NOT to ask how individual kids are doing or to express concerns. You've allowed other parents to do this to you, though, so either your school doesn't provide those directives or you just ignore it and provide the info anyway. That can actually be a bad habit to get into - as evidenced by your own experience with your own kid.

You can either ask for an earlier conference or wait for the regularly scheduled one. You can probably safely assume that she's taking time to get to know all the kids and assess them over a period of time. That's what she meant, I think by "I don't know yet." I think, if there were a major problem or red flag with your child, she'd have notified you by now.

And it's second grade. You can probably safely wait, let your child get oriented and establish social and schoolwork-related relationships, and get to know his teacher. If you're not comfortable, request an earlier conference, being fully prepared that this teacher's style may be to take more time to evaluate. That's not necessarily a bad thing at all.

It was not the time or place to ask specifically about your child. Open House is for everyone to meet the teacher and find out how things work in the classroom on a daily basis for their child. I am sure you noted how everyone wanted time with the teacher. It always happens.

I don't think what you said was out of line. Keep in mind that the teacher must be very careful addressing parents (MANY PARENTS ASK) during an Open House. It is vital that the privacy of your child is not violated and they can't say much because they usually have other parents around waiting to ask questions and listening to each response the teacher gives to anyone who asks.

I don't think it is a big deal because it happens ALL THE TIME, however if you are uncomfortable about it, I would schedule a conference during the teacher's planning time just to make sure you are both on the same page and you are both working as a team to do what you need to do for your child.

I am sure the teacher knows you were just trying to make sure your child is off to a good start. Most teachers would not be offended with the personal update question about a child and most teachers would remain pretty vague with an answer because they are not in an environment suitable for a private conversation.

Don't beat yourself up about it but is you can't get past until November, schedule a quick conference.

I wouldn't worry about it. She gave you a soundbite and if you want more info, you can set up a conference. I'd just consider it what she could offer about your child at an event for all her students. If you are bothered, follow up with a quick email. I think your husband is right.

Don't worry about it. I'm sure countless people ask little questions like that expecting a brief "thumbs up" as nervous small talk. You could let it go completely as I'm sure she isn't concerned and talk to her at the conference. Or you can ease your mind and apologize. She may respond with more detail even. But have the apology alone as your goal.

At my son's 1st grade orientation, I asked the teacher how she was doing with a newborn at home expecting "Oh, great, so excited!!" and she said, "It's really hard to leave him." I sympathized cheerfully, and it ended on a high note, and I thought nothing more of it! The next day I got an email from her APOLOGIZING (?!) and saying, "I really feel really bad I commented to you that it was hard leaving my son at home. I know you used to homeschool (??! word gets around I guess, I did not tell her that) and I don't want you to think I'm not 100% focused and enthusiastic about teaching your son." !!!!!! I kind of almost broke down in tears to be honest that she was going through that and so willing to appease me. And of course I wrote back a thank you and that I absolutely did not doubt her or take her comment that way.

Do what your conscience says!

while it was not the best time to ask, you are obviously not the only parent to ask. (since you stated that other parents have asked you) i wouldn't give it a second thought. schedule a conference and discuss it further there. this early she is still getting to know the kids and you shouldn't take what she said as a red flag to your sons future in her class.(she may be thinking about a different kid and not yours.)

Open house isn't the time to discuss your specific kid. It's for the teacher to introduce herself and tell you about how her class is run and what her goals are for the class as a whole. The time to ask about your specific kid is at a parent-teacher conference.

I think it's a normal question for open house night. At our back to school night almost all of the parents go up and greet the teacher and say a little something about their kids or ask if they are doing well so far. Normal here anyway. Since your conference isn't until November, I'd definitely follow it up with an email (not to apologize for your question) but to clarify her comments and ask if she feels you need to help him in any way. If he's uncomfortable in school, the teacher can try to help with your guidance. Maybe he needs a different spot to sit, maybe he's having trouble with other kids, there are so many variables. I wouldn't hesitate to ask if she has seen any other signs of trouble and if she thinks you need to have a meeting.