2.5 Year Old with Feer of Stairs and Heights

Updated on January 28, 2010
L.R. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
7 answers

MY daughter will no longer go down stairs. She sits at the top crying untill we come to get her. I've tried crawling down them with her, talking to her about them, and not bringing her down in the hope she would come down eventually. So far nothing has worked. She won't even go down 2-3 step stairs. We asked her why and she says they hurt her. In the past, she has fallen a couple of times on stairs, but then she would want to go down them again right after. She wants to be carried everywhere these days too.
I have a fear of heights, but I am fine with stairs. I try not to share my fear with her.
Does anyone have any ideas to help her? Should I just wait it out, of is there something else we can try to get her to use stairs again.

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A.T.

answers from Bloomington on

My daughter was the same. She would sit at the top of the stairs shaking and begging for me to carry her. And she never fell down the stairs or had a bad experience with them. She was just scared of the steps. So I always helped her down and eventually she just outgrew it. Even today, she is 7 now, she is unusually scared of silly things.

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A.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Is it possible for you & hubby to install a short rail for her to use? When my boys were smaller, they had to reach all the way up to try to use the handrail for help. We live in military housing so it's just not an option to install a kid-level rail for them, but if that's a possibility maybe it's worth looking into. Install it halfway down the wall maybe so she can reach now but will be able to use it when she's a bit taller too.
My one son was absolutely fearless til he got older & (I think) could remember better that doing this before hurt him & he'd refuse to do the simplest things for a while. Made Daddy CRAZY! He's gotten over it now, but we went through a rough patch w/his fears for a while.
If you can't install a handrail for her, maybe she can hold onto the wall w/one hand & a "stair baby" w/the other one. Stairbaby could wait at the top or bottom of the steps for her at all times, waiting to help her up or down. Dumbo needed a magic feather to fly, my sister needed a ribbon to walk w/o falling down (if her ribbon fell out of her hand she fell down immediately, but as long as she had that ribbon she could walk for miles), maybe your daughter needs a friend to help her conquer the stairs. Just don't forget to remind Daddy about the stairbaby so he doesn't trip over it or remove it from the steps.

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

My daughter was the exact same way! She used to go down them just fine and then all of a sudden, would freak out at the mention of going down them alone. We just worked with her in steps...carry her down a couple of times, then hold her hand all the way down, then hold her hand half way down. Then she started sitting on her butt and going down by herself. Just the other day she walked down them all by herself! Just have patience...eventually, she will overcome her fear! Good luck!

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B.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

One of my triplets was scared of stairs and fell often. It turns out that his vision needed correcting. He had no depth perception and couldn't tell how far away the next stair was. His vision has been corrected, and he is much more confident on the stairs.

good luck!

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Little kids will constantly come up with things like this for whatever reason. She may have a natural fear of heights or even brought up old memories of when she fell down them which is probably why she is afraid of going down them. The good news is, it is a stage and will be short lived. Give her time, and it will pass. Just continue to reassure her and help her with her fear.

Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is 26 months old and will bump down a small flight of stairs or our larger flight IF I am walking backwards down them in front of her.

My suggestion is to carry her down the large flight of steps until she has her confidence to either bump or belly-crawl down them on her own. Until then, it will only aggrivate the fear.

Have her practice bumping on her butt or belly-crawl down 2 to 3 steps at a time to build confidence. If you have a playdate somewhere where there are other kids (esp. older) have the other child show your daughter how to go down a few steps at a time. It is amazing what littles will try when they see other littles doing something. Monkey see, monkey do.

Keep encouraging with soothing positive words when appropriate and carry her down large flights of steps until she has her confidence.

Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It's a phase. Carry her down. You don't want a 2.5 yo playing on the stairs anyway. Too dangerous. It will pass.

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