My 2.5yr old daughter has been getting out of her bed about 5-9 times a night and either screaming for us or usually walking into our room. She has been sleeping in a big girl bed with a rail for about a year and never got out of bed before. She "gave up" her pacifier about 2 weeks ago and the constant getting up started then. I believe before she gave up the pacifier she woke up this much however she was usually able to fall back to sleep quickly by herself with us going in only occasionally. I think the pacifier was soothing her back to sleep more than we realized.
When she gets up at night we try to not talk to her and take her right back to her bed. She will usually go right back to sleep. Occasionally she will stay up for a few hours or keep getting back out of bed. Her biggest complaint is that noises are waking her up.
We have tried rewards for staying in bed (cupcakes, playing with her new toy) and punishments (shutting the door, putting up a gate, taking away TV). In the past we have been inconsistent, but now we are trying to stay consistent. We also now have a nightlight, white noise/ocean sound, black out shades, and the door open (none of which she wanted or needed before).
Her total sleep per day is about 9-10 hours. She takes about a 1 hour nap, which she wakes from tired. She has also been getting up around 5am and not being able to go back to sleep. Her "old" wake up time use to be between 6-7am. We make her stay in bed until 6am. We try to have her in bed around 7:30pm for the night.
Please help!!! I know this is probably "typical" 2yr old behavior, but I am getting little continuous sleep. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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3. Or she could be hearing communications from a satellite system. The best thing to do is just track it and ask her what she is hearing.
Be well.
N.
It sound more neurological than anything. Don't stress. According to research, pacifiers don't allow babies to get into deep sleep, so she's probably not use to it (not to mention the oral stimulative comfort she grown to rely on). And at 2, she's probably going through a growing spurt, so you might want to try liquid calcium? It relaxes the nervous system and our kids sleep like rocks....and they never have any growing pains. We use Bluebonnett or Lifetime liquid blueberry flavor. At 2, a teaspoon each night for the first 2 weeks should be enough....and then you can give it every other night or whatver you want....but it may take a week or so, to get her clacium storage levels up enough for her to sleep.
Good luck.
*(adding this)
Jennifer below, made a suggestion of liquid calcium... its actually liquid magnesium (or with calcium) which helps people or kids to sleep... it basically just calms and helps one to release stress. Many benefits of it. For kids though, you need to get the Kids version.... the brand "Animal Parade" makes it too, for kids. The reason it is in 'liquid/powder' form is that it is absorbed better than if from a pill.
I take the magnesium myself sometimes when I am stressed and can't sleep or for PMS... it does help, a lot. Try the "Natural Kids Calm - 8 oz - Powder" which you can even get from Amazon... or any natural food store. This is the brand I have. If you go to www.amazon.com, you can read the reviews about it there.
Magnesium is water soluable and safe and very beneficial in many ways, if you look it up online.
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Okay, it's not 'fun' but its normal at this age.
BOTH my kids did that too, at that age.
They grow out of it.
For us though, we have a floor futon mattress in our bedroom. IF the kids need too, we let them sleep there. And, if they need extra comforting, I lay next to them for a bit. Then I can get up and leave.
When I was that age and older, I would do that too. For me as a child, I just really hated being in my room all by myself in the dark and I would get scared of any noises or imagined things I saw. Then I would walk down our long dark hallway, and go to my parents room and sleep with them. They let me. Kids do that. Its normal. I grew out of it. I am not 'dependent' or 'needy' or anything. But as a child, that is how I felt, about night time.
2 years old, is a time of GREAT flux, developmentally. AND their sleep gets kinks too. BOTH my kids did that. I know it's normal and due to their growing pains.
BUT it WILL get back to normalcy. Just don't turn it into a 'battle' or it will be harder.
Sure, consistency and routine is important... but when a child is going through this, they will still wake up. AND at this age, 'night-time' fears and night-mares do creep in developmentally. Even at 5-6-7 years old, kids are afraid of night-time and 'boogey' men type things. Their imaginations are very active at this age.
All the punishments and scoldings and incentives will not work... if the child is going through normal developmental changes and growing pains, because it is cognitive changes.
When my kids did that at that age, I just kept things 'boring' and quiet, I didn't engage but would just tell them to lay down with Mommy.... I kept everything dark, did not 'wake' myself, and just made believe I was sleeping too. Gradually, in about 1/2 - 1 hour, my kids would fall back asleep. It was a PHASE. Then, they returned to their previous normal sleeping patterns and abilities.
Yes, this is typical developmental "difficulties." Its not fun for the Parent... but its not fun for them either. THEY are the one's having a hard time sleeping and being tired.
IT WILL PASS. IT WILL RETURN TO NORMALCY.
Don't worry.
Its just part of MANY sleep changes a child goes through. Even Teenagers and college kids and adults have sleep changes too on occasion. Right? So, for this mere young age..... in the broad scheme of things, its just a drop in a bucket. Many more phases will come up.
All the best,
Susan
I had to deal with this with all 3 of my kids, and it was a total nightmare. I felt like I was drugged from lack of sleep! Here is my advice: take one week where you know it's going to be tough-start tonight. Go to the 99 cent store and buy 7 things that you think your daughter will like. Pick a couple things that might be a little to grown up for her. (Tell her what a big girl she is when you give it to her.) Tell her how this sleep deprivation is affecting you. Tell her that you are not being the best mom you could be for her and that you would be so much better if you got a good nights sleep. Children are sooooo much smarter than we think. Tell her that if she wakes up during the night not to come to you, but to just go back to sleep. Tell her that if she does not come to you during the night you will give her a surprise in the morning. Make a chart with her with each day of the week, starting with Tuesday (tomorrow). Each morning give her one of the 99 cent toys and tell her how proud you are of her and what a big girl she is becomming. After 7 days of not coming to you she gets to go to whatever store she likes to pick out something she chooses. This works! I have three kids: 11, 8 and 5 and I am not above bribery. When I really need something from them it is very effective to bribe them. The 99 cent store is great because you can buy so many things so cheap and they love that stuff!
Good luck!
L.,
The thing about any big change is that it takes time and often comes with bumps in the road. The one thing I have never understood about the advice of getting kids to sleep on their own is not talking to them? How does that help a screaming or upset child get the picture? To me it just doesn't make sense...but that's just me.
When my son started developing night terrors, I had to think about how he felt. He was frightened and confused and in need of guidance. Put yourself in her shoes. Her means of comfort is gone, and now she needs the constants in her life (MOM and DAD) to help her get to the next phase.
I would skip rewards and go straight for talking and reassuring her that everything is fine. Make sure you have a static bedtime routine, and this may mean that you and Dad have to be apart of it so she knows that it's the same either way. We do brush teeth, books and cuddle time...then off to bed. After that you might need to start with a slow 'weaning' process. Explain to her that you are there no matter what and you love her, but it's time for bed. If she needs you, you might want to put a little mattress in your room so she knows she can come sleep or you can walk her back to bed and explain she needs to sleep and you are there for her. My friend does this and her daughter no longer wakes her at night, just goes in and sleeps on the cot that they set up at bedtime. It works for them.
I sit with my son and rub his back until he falls asleep. We started with me laying and cuddling him and then over time I explained it was time for him to try to sleep on his own. But, he is also allowed to come in my bed if he gets scared or he leads me back to his bed to help him get comfy again. It's a learning process and it's not going to happen overnight.
Honesly, I know it's tough now, but you have to remember that the paci is a huge thing to let go. This was a part of who she was and how she got back to sleep on her own. And, now that's changed. Be patient and find what works for you.
Good luck.
I have a white/gray noise machine in my son's room. We put it in there when he was a baby to drown out the sounds of the house so all he heard was a low humming noise. His sister is 10 years older than he is and doesn't go to bed until much later and it keeps him from hearing her getting ready for bed. I looked it up on Amazon and found something to my satisfaction and price range. I also have one for traveling since hotels can be pretty noisy too. Good luck.
Hi L.,
Try some white noise - like the humming of a fan. This may help her while she is adjusting to being separated from the pacifier. By the way, it is a great idea that you are taking that away before it causes future dental problems.
Hey L.,
I have read this same question a few times on Mamasource and what many of the mothers suggest is having your child give up his or her pacifiers to the "pacifier fairy" as she comes to that age. The pacifier fairy in turn will give the pacifiers to all the new babies in the world that don't have one. At night, she will take the bag of pacifiers and replace it with something for her to cuddle such as a stuffed animal, a blanket, etc. You can leave a note for to your daughter from the fairy that says if she starts to miss her pacifiers she can cuddle with her new stuffed animal or her blanket and that will make her feel better.
I thought this was a cute suggestion, and from everything I have read it seems to have gone over quite well with all the other parents, so I thought I'd pass the idea along.
Aloha L.,
It is normal for a 2 1/2 year old to need extra comfort. You probably are aware that the pacifier was a big source of comfort for her. At 2 1/2 it is hard to verbally express what she feels inside. Sounds like she is anxious about something and is asking for comfort. Food and toy rewards, or punishments, won't provide that comfort. She needs you. As you put her back to bed, give her a big hug and let her know that you love her very much.....and it's time to stay in bed until everyone gets up. As she grows older, she will she be able to verbally express things better and she will have grown being comforted by those who matter the most to her......her mommy and daddy. Should you ever have any questions, feel free to let me know. It my pleasure to be helping parents raise happy and responsible children! Visit http://www.lorrainepursell.com/
