Hi. I am a bit confused. My 2.5 year old for the past few months has started a habit of not going to sleep at night (but does fine for his nap). He will scream for me every 5 minutes and then is fine when I come in the room (wants water, change his diaper, etc). He does this less if I am not at home and my husband puts him to bed; yet I am the one at home and with him everyday. It is frustrating b/c it keeps my 4.5 yo awake. I know he is tired just so stubborn. Is it a normal phase, any tricks?
It's normal. This age is roughly when they start to assert their independence. I would just go in and not talk, rub his back and calmly put him down. Be there for him but don't give him all he needs...
Is there something going on in the house? Have you been away for him longer or more frequently than normal? It seems like he's okay if you are not home but really wants you/needs you when you are, so it might signify an attachment issue, where he feels calmer when you are around or wants more time with you.
Alternatively, is your husband stricter than you are? He may be trying to manipulate you more than your husband?
Tricks - I explain to my son that it's time to go to sleep; I make sure he's had his water and gone to the potty. Then I tell him I'm going downstairs to cook or do laundry or take a shower, whatever, and I am NOT coming back up. Does he need anythign else? If he does, he will ask me to sit with him while he falls asleep or will ask for an extra hug or water, and then usually gets to sleep on his own.
I know this is frustrating, particularly if it gets your eldest up. I'm sure it's just a phase and will pass soon!!!
Its the age.
At this age they do get sleep tweaks.
Growing pains
Cognition and imaginations are changing.
Also maybe teething.
ALL sorts of things & changes happening to them, developmentally at the SAME time.
its hard on them too.
It is a phase and will pass.
I would sometimes tell my daughter a little white lie - mommy is leaving now becuase I have to go to the bathroom/shower (something close). I'll come back in 5 minutes. She'd usually be asleep or talking to her stuffed animals in 5 minutes and then would fall asleep.
Try not to give in and be very strict about getting out of bed or shout. Tell him - you are NOT to get out of that bed. If you do, there will be no (XXX) tomorrow. And keep with it. Remind him the next night at bedtime of what he had to do without for the day and not to get out of bed/shout.
I agree with all of the responses below, you may also want to look at what time he is napping and for how long. My daughter (2 y 9 m) had to have her nap time adjusted since she would nap for 2 hours and then want to stay up til 9pm. She is in daycare and I requested that they put her down first closer to 12:15, so she is done napping around 2:15. Although some of the kids in the class are still napping, she can play quietly. Now she flights bedtime less. If this comes up again, I may have to reassess her nap duration (cut it back to 1 1/2 hrs). My kids (5 1/2yo and 2y 9m) are in bed between 7:30-7:45 and usually asleep by 8:00pm (I need my evenings to catch-up and prepare for the next day).
