21-Month-old with Sudden Sleep Issues

She's older now. She's more aware of the world and probably has an idea that she might be missing out on things. She's developing an imagination, so it's possible she get's scared when you leave the room.

Why do you leave the room? You don't have to. Why not sit in the room with her until she falls asleep? That would really help her stay calm and relaxed. She would feel safe, knowing you are there for her. You could just sit there snd read a book or something.

This phase will pass, but it will pass much more quickly if you don't force it.

I agree with Ziggy, below. In my experience, this passes faster if you don't ignore it, as she noted.

Your toddler could be starting to have bad dreams (but don't bother to try to ask her - she likely will not recall them). And of course teething or her ears could be a possibility but it's also quite possible this is nothing "diagnosable" and just a normal sleep shift. It IS normal for kids who are perfect sleepers to change their patterns, and here's the news parents usually dont' like hearing: It happens again and again as they get older, even into K and elementary school and beyond, though we parents notice it less as they get older.

So there may be nothing "wrong" here, not even an ear infection (though you could get her checked). This may just be a phase you have to get through -- many of us have. And you're doing fine.

I think it's fine to give her extra comfort. That's what she needs right now, and your job is to provide what she needs. She will not be ruined by it or turn into a demanding kid otherwise. It's good that you are leaving her in her crib and not bringing her to your room, but do continue to go to her and touch her until she calms down; don't talk to her too much while you do it (it's after lights out, so keep things very calm and quiet) but do go.. Children who are left to cry it out until they only fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion from crying are not necessarily more confident children; they are learning instead that when they have a need (which they don't understand and cannot articulate) then mommy does not come to them.

She could have an ear infection and laying down hurts her ears. She could also be getting her 2 year molars and her mouth hurts.

If it continues have her checked out by her doctor.

She's getting older. Don't do the whole multiple back pats snuggles etc. Keep to your regular routine. If you are sure she's not sick let her cry and fuss it won't hurt her but you start the staying in her room, extra sniffles, taking her to your bed will take forever to undue. Make sure she's not hungry or sick. If she's not let her fuss it won't last long unless you foster it. Who wouldn't want mommy to keep running back in to give more hugs?

Teething or ear infection is my first guess.

Around this age, my oldest suddenly became afraid of a stuffed animal in his room! It had been there since birth so this really surprised me and took a while to figure out. Apparently it suddenly looked scary in the dark.

I took it out of the room, and he when back to sleeping great.

Someone told me this is common. Their night vision improves and their imagination starts to develop, and suddenly everyday stuff looks scary in the dark.

I'm thinking ear infection. My kids could play happily all day, but minute laying down flat, the pressure would build up in their ears and pain ensued.

Is she pulling on her ears or sticking her finger in her ear at all?

Also could be teeth. Seems to be more bothersome at night for some.

Until you know it's nothing medical to be treated, I would soothe her because if she's in pain, you don't want to let her fuss it out. But worth a visit to doctor I would think.

They don't have to have a fever, or appear ill to have an ear infection. Has she had a cold in the last few weeks? Sometimes the ear infection springs up after the cold has passed because the left over fluid doesn't clear and becomes infected. A doctor will be able to tell.

Good luck :)

* If it is just a phase she's going through (doesn't want to lay down by herself) generally you can tell the difference from that kind of crying to a cry from pain - so you're the best judge of that :)

I'm thinking ear infection or teething.
I would get her into the doctor for an appointment to rule out ear infections.
If she's teething, I'd try Infant Tylenol (I think I used Infant Motrin when a
little bit older).
Also, put in a night light. When they wake the dark can scare them, having a nightlight helps.
When my kids went through this, I'd go in & check on them staying in there until they fell asleep. I'd either sit on the floor or I had a chair in there for awhile.

She's almost 2 now. Along with a possible physical growth spurts that could be throwing off her body rhythm, she's certainly making some cognitive gains, which may mean she's feeling insecurity, anxiety, or worry that was just never a part of her consciousness before.

If she is settling down easily when you simply come in the room, I'd say it's something on her mind. Reassure her that she is safe, that you are there, that you will be in the next room and you will see her in the morning.

That being said: Ear or tooth pressure often only hurts (or hurts much more) when we lay down. When she's been in her crib for a few minutes, her ears may start to hurt. When you come in for extra snuggles, you raise her head and the pressure relieves... plus, it's just nice to have mom or dad there when you don't feel good. Pressure pain wouldn't really get better with several trips, but she may just be getting so tired that she falls asleep despite the pain.

I don't know how much language she has. Have you asked her what's wrong? Obviously she won't describe in detail, but she might be able to set you on the right path (pain vs fear).

HTH
T.