my step son has moved in with us and he has a very nasty habit. he lived with his mom for 20 yrs. and his dad did not know where to find him. we finally found him and he is staying with us. he has a very nasty habit of pooping and not flushing. I tried reminding his excuse is always I forgot. lame I know.I have tried nagging. no help. I cant think of a way to get this point through his head and I do realize it is a 20 yr habit. any ideas of how to break such a nasty habit that has been allowed to go on for 20 yrs.?
well his dad had a talk wtih him. he told him he wouldnt like the outcome if he didnt stop. his mom is real poor and apperently told the kids not to flush when they pee to conserve water.someone mentioned he may be adhd and he is. he has other problems going on like leaving the bathroom light on. I took out all light bulbs but the heat lamp so it will get very hot in there if he doesn't turn it off.. he leaves everything laying around I am making them "dissapear ". and I just tell him I guess you need to keep track of them. he is very fustrated with me right now. I am taking his excuses away so he has to take responsibility for himself. and the one who made the comment why is he living with you. his dad just found him about 6 months ago and theyare getting to know each other. so dont judge him for that. the one without sin can cast the first stone.
Well, I think I might start with having him clean the bathroom weekly, and specifically cleaning the toilet on a daily basis. At 20, living with you, he should be taking part in the maintenance of the house.
That's all I've got besides pinning a note to his shirt. Good grief.
Simply don't do it for him.
Ask him to go back and flush each time you discover it. Don't give him any way out of it. If he asks why you didn't just do it when you "discovered" it, don't even engage him with explanations or pleading or nagging. Just tell him it is his mess to clean up. EVERY TIME. Hopefully he will eventually get tired of going back, and he will do it himself.
Be honest and direct! Say, "I do not want to see your excrement, if you can't flush it on your own, please know that my fee is $20.00 to do it for you each time, not sure if you can afford that, but it is what it is, got it? "
That would make me puke. Literally. It's gross when my 4 yo forgets to flush, I can't imagine a grown adult. You can't get eye bleach strong enough to wipe that image out. Ick!!
Maybe you can trade. He cleans up your puke when you have to go in and flush after him :) Or make him clean that bathroom top to bottom each and every time he forgets. GL!!
Put up a sign above the toilet that says IF IT'S BROWN FLUSH IT DOWN!
Make him start pooping in the backyard and burying it??
Sorry I don't have any suggestions, but does he ever flush? I bet he wouldn't want to do the clean up when the toilet over flows!
I'm sorry that you have to live with an adult with such a discusting habit/lazyness. The next question is does he ever wash his hands? If yes then there is even less excuse for forgetting!
YUCK!
God bless!
I would put one of those baby locks on the toilet so he knows everytime he is unlocking it that he needs to flush. Plus I hope your making him go flush when you do notice it. Thats how I got my husband to put the seat down. Everytime it was up I would hollar for him and he would know and stop whatever he was doing, he got tired of that. And it was a 20 year habit for him too. I also agree he needs to clean the toilet everytime you see he doesn't flush.
Tape a sign to the door that say's FLUSH!!!! You can even add his name after it, FLUSH, JOE!!!!
I once worked with a very troubled guy of about this age who lived at home. He told me on one occasion that he did this very thing for the express purpose of "pi@$ing off his parents". Tread carefully, the issue may run deeper than you know.
I would just post a little note above the toilet or make it into a cute sign that says 'Please flush after using the toilet' or something like that. If he really 'just forgets' than maybe the reminder will help.
Sign over the toilet, on the mirror, on the inside of the bathroom door AND on on the wall opposite as he exits. This is really just gross.
Why is he staying with you? I always wonder about adult kids over the age of 18 living with parents - is he going to school, or working, or contributing to the household in anyway?
I'm with the folks that say put a note up to remind him, and make him aware that you aware and are not happy about it. If he has an issue, he can move right back out. Does make you wonder if he is remembering to wash his hands too!
Wow. What an odd situation. Sounds like there's defintely more going on here than simple rules of hygeine. Have your husband talk to him and lay down the law. Your "nagging" isn't working - time for hubby to step in and offer a solution. Besides putting up a sign or two in the bathroom, and bringing it to step son's attention EVERY TIME it happens, and then having him go flush it down, I really don't know what else you can do. Seems like there shouldn't be such a long learning curve with someone this age.
First let me say this is not your problem, it is his father's problem. Be careful that in most cases such as this it is being done on purpose.
Make his dad take care of this, i know it is hard just shut the door and let the dad use only this bath room until he solves the problem.
If necessary move out and tell dad you will be back when the problem is either solve or he is out of the house!
Okay, yes this is gross. I agree that he should pay you or that you should call him in from whatever he is doing and make him flush it. On the other hand...my 13 yr old has a problem with this...he has ADHD and Asperger's. I do require him to flush and clean if I find it, but I also know that for someone with such a serious case it is a matter of forgetting. So we are training. The psychologist says it takes years for some. Could it be that this 20 yr old has something similar going on? Does he forget other things like brushing his teeth, taking showers, does he forget appointments or anything else? Don't think I am making excuses. Even my son understands that having a disorder does not excuse him for taking responsibility for his world. Just wanted to add another side. Good luck and don't back down. He's a grown up and has to have grown up responsibilities.
.
Eeewwww.......maybe put a sign taped to the toilet "FLUSH" or something, so he can't say he 'forgot'. Sorry I don't have anything better.
That is gross though.
That's nasty!!!!!!, I have a three year old and babysit and 4 year old and I pay close attention and stand at the door and when they walk out we go over the list, DID YOU WIPE, DID YOU FLUSH, DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS WITH SOAP. I'm not sure about the sign, It may work for a little bit, but after a while it just becomes another forgotten about decoration. Just like all those signs on the gas pumps. It could be like the other lady said, he may just be mad at your husband if he hasn't been around that much in his life and trying to get back at him. It could be just a bad habit in which case train him like I've been taught to train my kids. Repetition. Make him go in there every time he forgets and go through the motions of wiping, flushing and washing his hands 10 times everytime he 'forgets'. Tell him if he's going to act like a kid, your going to treat him like a kid. After 2 days, if he still continues to 'forget' continue to make him go through the motions and clean the tolite every time. It shouldn't take to long before he doesn't want to 'forget' anymore.
Tell him if it happens again he will have to find his own place to live, where he can go without flushing all he wants!
i have to say....good job for dad taking him in so they can get to know eachother. i grew up without my dad, knowing him now...i would've grew up with him instead of my mom (for unspoken reasons).
i agree with the comment when you see he didnt' flush, simply go get him, and tell him to flush it..he'll get tired of that and start flushing...maybe have your husband do that to avoid confrontation between you and step son?
