20 Mth Old Having and Night Fits

I have a couple of thoughts - the first is that he could be overtired. 9 PM is a pretty late bedtime for a toddler, and my babies used to wake up after an hour or two and scream (although not this long!) if they were overtired. I'd try putting him to bed earlier - start with 8:30 because any earlier and he may not be able to fall asleep if he's not used to this. My second thought is that perhaps he has an ear infection - sometimes the only symptom is pain upon lying down. I'd take him for a check-up to rule this out. My other thought was that these could be night terrors, but I doubt that because you described him as interacting with you during the episodes. During a night terror, kids don't acknowledge or recognize that their parents are present, unless the parents manage to wake them up - and it's actually better just to let it run its course rather than trying to wake the child.

Hope this helps,
K.

I believe the term for this is "Night Terrors". There's tons of information online about what to do when someone has these. My son went through those a couple of times but grew out of them. I remember one time I had to turn on the TV at 2am because i was running out of ideas/things to get him to calm down. (He also wouldn't come to me at first and just crouched in the corner of his crib and screamed.) The TV seemed to work after a few minutes, and then once calmed down I took him back to bed. It's very scary and frustrating. Good luck.

Hi K.-
I can completely empathize with you! My son went through the same thing around the same age as your son. I am happy to report that it DOES get better and eventually will pass. I know that you feel helpless in this situation but there isn't much more you can do than you are already doing. It's like they are awake yet they are still asleep so anything you do seems to make it worse. This is one of those things that nobody seems to warn you about! I noticed with our son he seemed to get these "night terrors" on days that he was overstimulated with busy events or lots of company. It's just impossible to avoid things like this- just remember it's a phase and you aren't doing anything wrong!

My daughter figured out that her little one was afraid of the dark. Try a night light or leave his door open a little.
It worked for her, good luck

THis sounds very frustrating and stressful. I have a couple reccomendations. If your child has been to the dr. and everything seems healthy (ears, etc.) then he probably is just starting to have night terrors. THis is about the age where they suddenly become aware that they are dreaming and their imaginations are running wild.

One of the biggest causes of night terros and night waking is sleep deprivation. Nine seems like an awfully late bedtime for a child this young. Most of the sleep books recommend a bedtime closer to 7 for a toddler. Some of them say to put them down earlier. A toddler will generally wake up at around the same time no matter when you put them to bed. Most of the books say that if your child is waking up early, you should actually put them to bed earlier. MOre naps may also be nescessary.\

When a child is having a night terror, you should avoid touching them or trying to wake them. This will make it worse. You should simply stand near them and watch them to make sure they don't hurt themselves. Let the night terror run its course. Often times, they appear around the same time as developmental milestones or life changes.

Hope this helps.

wow my son does this at nap time

My almost 20 mth old has been doing similar things lately. She is also a very happy kid all day and sleeps through the night just fine usually. But lately she has woken up very upset at strange times for no reason at all. It is a very different cry then an "I awake and ready to get up now" kind of cry as you mentioned. I agree with the other mom that I think this is due to nightmares. There is a difference between nightmares and night terrors and what you are describing sounds more like the terrors. Ours are not so extreme. You pretty much have to do what works. Sometimes the snuggles are all they need to get over the bad dream and go back to sleep. It the case of the more extra night terrors, they are not really awake enough to be comforted and sometimes touching them and being close to them can actually make it worse because then you become a part of the bad dream. I would recommend trying to comfort by singing songs or something comforting like that without picking him up unless he indicates that he wants to be picked up. Talk softly and wait for him to give you the cue that he is ready for mommy. With my oldest, we also noticed that some of the things that she did during the day contributed to the bad dreams. She has alway loved to watch movies and has never had a problem with scary scenes while watching the movie but we noticed that if she watched certain movies during the day, she would have bad dreams at night. Tarzan was always one movie that she had problems with even though she loved the movie. I have also heard other mom's talk about activities that they do with their kids during the day that caused problems. One mom said she had gone someplace with her little boy that had dinosaurs and he loved it but that night they had issues. Also, if you have a Parent's As Teachers educationor, I know that they have some literature about nightmares and night terrors that they could bring you. I hope this helps. Your not alone in this one.

I've been caring for children for 21 years day and night and reading on mamasource for about 2 or 3 years. It seems to me like this is VERY common. It's frustrating and usually only resolves after trying so many things I doubt the parents really know for sure what stopped it. It may take a combination of helping techniques, but I suspect that there's very little we really can do.

I've seen it and heard about it constantly all these years. It happens at all ages, but especially from 1-3 years of age. I have experienced it myself with a few of my overnight babies. But I've never seen it last more than a few random days. Of course, I've heard about it happening for months and months on end. Sometimes they seem totally awake. Sometimes they look awake but never seem to comprehend anything said to them. Sometimes they don't even open their eyes.

We had a little girl last year in the daycare that had been going through it off and on for over a year. Mom called the doctor a few times and did quite a bit of research. We tried manipulating her nap schedules and watching her diet to make sure it was very healthy. Like what you describe, the girl was absolutely happy go lucky all day long. Sadly, in the end the mom blamed us for all the poor night sleeping and decided since their lives are so perfect the "distress" must be coming from daycare. By the time they decided to stop using our services the girl was nearing the age she would be outgrowing it anyway. So I want to suggest that you try not to panic and make a plan that you and your husband can get some extra rest during the early evenings or on the weekends. This will pass.

Suzi