20 Month Won't Sleep in Own Bed.

Updated on January 15, 2011
K.J. asks from Ronan, MT
8 answers

I have a 20 month old son who won't sleep in his own bed. His dad works out of town and is gone alot so i got into the bad habit of letting him sleep with me. now he won't sleep in his own bed. I've tried many things but get frustrated considering I'm doing most of this on my own and i need my sleep too. Any advice would help.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Phoenix on

You have to break him of the habit which means let him CIO...stay consistant and don't give up...it may take a few days to a week for him to understand this is the way to do it so be prepared to hear some screamin....its worth it though. I'm sure you will get plenty of people telling you its perfectly natural for him to sleep with you, but I am with you on this....you need your sleep. Another side note, is I personally would be worried I would roll over and crush the little guy in my sleep (I have a 16 mo foster boy).

1 mom found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

If he's wiggling a lot in bed with you... lay on your back or side and put him in the crook of your shoulder. That will give plenty of desired skin to skin contact and keep him somewhat still. I still bed-share with my 5 y/o but that is due to my preference. She's finally liking the idea of her own room and bed, and we bought her a loft bed she's very excited about it. She'll be in it very soon, and she's happily moving out of our bed from hr own choice.

This stage passes so quickly... enjoy it while you can, don't stress over normal behavior. Of course your baby/toddler loves sleeping with Mommy - they are designed to.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Start a bedtime routine. Find a night light, I got one from babies r us and it is a lady bug (they have turtles too), and it shows stars on the walls and ceiling. Find a 15-20 minute movie he may like if he has his own tv in his room ( i have sesame street sleepy time movie and its great!). put him in his bed, kiss him goodnight and walk into another room. If he cries, and screams you should probably just let him cry it out. My grandma said they will wear themselves out eventually ;) I know its heartbreaking, but just focus on that big ole bed just to yourself and the hubs :) If you dont do it now, he will end up being 15 and wanting to sleep in your bed. And none of us want that! Esp when its "mommy daddy time"! Be strong girl! and GOODLUCK!

L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Be very consistant with him sleeping in his own bed. It seems going back and forth isn't an option for him. I don't have advice really on how to break the habit but I can tell you how I got my 2 yo to switch from him crib to his bed and stay in it. We had many conversations during the day about how cool his bed was and that it was wear he would start sleeping at night. We made it sound very fun and exciting. He has a tv in his room so we would put his fav show on with the volume very low and also put a baby gate up at his door. we would tell him he has to stay in bed even if he wants to play he still has to be laying down in bed. The baby gate was so he wouldnt get up and wonder around the house while we were asleep. After about a week (if that) of the same routine he now (almost 3) will only sleep in his bed. All I do is lay him down and say his prayers with him, put his tv on (until he falls asleep) and he turns over and goes straight to bed. Consistency is what really helps kids learn! You can do this! Dont get too stressed and tired!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from San Diego on

rountine, patience, consistency and time works wonders. i had the same problem with my daughter its sooo hard especially when we are tired to stick to our guns and stay sane. CIO was not an option for us way too stressful for the whole family and nieghborhood. i started out doing naps in her big bed together. i set a timer when the timer went off we got up. i started doing the same thing at night, we did story, cuddles till she fell asleep. eventually it got to the point where i would leave her in her bed awake after 5 mins. i would always just place her gently back in bed and tell her its night night time and i would see her in the morning. even if it was a hundred times i swear. it took a couple weeks but now its worth it. we all get sleep!
oh and always praise they slept in their bed or "you only got up 2x last night lets try for 1x tonight " it works better than being frustrated about what they didn't do...
i also heard of some strategy of placing a sleeping bag in the corner of your room if the kid insists on being with you they say eventually they like their bed better i dunno about that one.

good luck! know one night you will sleep but its up to you :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Redding on

Well, you said it yourself....it's a habit.
It took a while to get into the habit and it will take some time to break it, but you can do it.
Yes, you don't have help to tag-team him when you get worn out or frustrated, but if you just stay calm and continue putting him back to bed, he will get the hang of it.
Yes, there could be some crying, screaming and flinging of a body on the floor.....just don't let your kid see you do it.
(wink wink)
People never could understand how I got my kids to be such good sleepers. They could sleep ANYWHERE. And yes, there were times when they slept with me, but they didn't demand it. In fact, my daughter didn't sleep well at all unless she had her own space all to herself. She was a perfectly affectionate and cuddly child, but she slept better by herself.
The main thing is not to give up and cave in. He will learn that he can sleep by himself and he will be just fine. So will you.
My friend began a great strategy with her kids when they were babies. Even if they all laid down together, the kids woke up in their own beds every single morning. Her kids, from the time they were little, actually preferred their own rooms with their doors shut.
Little kids can have Olympic stamina when it comes to fighting bed time. You have to outlast them. That's the only way.
It's better to start now than try later when he absolutely doesn't know anything else.

Hang in there!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

So my 25 month old son just barely got to the point where he slept in his own bed all night long and I love it! I don't have any great advise because I had a really hard time with it, but here goes:
1. We put him in a big boy bed...it made it more exciting.
2. Always start his night in his own bed, and put him back in there if he comes in your room in the middle of the night. I would just get him back to sleep and then take him back in there.
3. Sleep in his bed with him for a few nights. Eventually, he will want his own space and will feel crowded.

I hate crying it out, and have never done it with either of my kids. They both transitioned pretty naturally on their own. With this one, I am 7 months preggo and it just started getting uncomfortable for both of us...not enough room :). I wasn't that bothered about him sleeping with me when he was little. My experience has taught me that they will want their own space when they are ready...and they almost always do (no they won't be sleeping with you when they are 15...that's completely untrue!). Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.S.

answers from Seattle on

Crying it out is supposed to be the best technique, and the quickest but being as how it's been medically proven that our child's crying tends to raise our blood pressure...it can be quite hard. I always feel horrible, and then give in if we need to do it for any reason.

I would maybe start a bedtime routine with him (if you already have one, just advance to including part of the routine in his room)..bath, brushing teeth, quiet time reading a book in his room (him in his bed, you on the floor, or standing if he has a crib) use a night light so he isn't totally frightened by the difference, and some soothing music. Chances are that he will still need to cry it out though, so be prepared, but a routine every night at the same time lets him know what is happening, what to expect, and keeps them on a cycle that is consistent.

However, once you start moving him into his own room be prepared that if you backslip and move him back into your bed it can make it harder later. This is a personal decision of course, but I say just bite the bullet and do it. Good luck, I know that this is a rough situation to be in.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions