20 Month Old Who Was Formally and angel..now a terror..Help!

Welcome to the terrible two's... and it gets worse at three!

Consistency is key. You said you did several different things to stop the behavior. How long did you try each? Time outs work great in my house, but you have to be quick and consistent. As soon as the behavior starts, one warning is given. If the behavior continues, time out! Whether the corner, a special spot in the room, wherever as long as you use that spot over and over. My middle daughter will walk there herself because she'll know I'll send her there.

Hang in there!!

It sounds a lot like my son. I don't know what happens at that age, but they seem to snap! I read a book called 'Have a New Kid by Friday' by Dr. Kevin Leman. It really helped us understand what was going on. Some of the things are geared for older kids, but it's never too early to start. We started with time outs every time he hit or threw something. It gets worse before it gets better. After a couple days he was a totally different kid. We still have flashback every now and then...especially when he is hungry or tired, but he is much better. We try to be really consistent so he doesn't get confused. Now when he acts up it only takes one or two time outs and he is back to his little angel self.

Good Luck...it will get better.

A.

I wish there was a magic cure for this. He is looking for control. If he isn't talking that well yet communication might be part of it too. Let him know that you are still the parent. Make sure that his schedule hasn't changed. Look into his nap schedule. Maybe he is needing more sleep. Time outs are really good at this age so turning him around in his chair is good, but make sure that you tell him that his behvoir is unacceptable and he needs to apologize to you for screaming. Try to find a time when you could play together and let him be in control.
In the meantime, hold strong, try to work on some communication skills even if it is sign language. Good luck.

Don't worry. It sounds very familiar - probably to a lot of people. He is just started his terrible 2's early. He is exerting his independence. You have to keep up with your discipline any, and just wait for this tough phase to pass. And it will!!! :)

You sound just like me when my youngest son hit that age! I actually called his dr and told them I didn't know what happened to my sweet little baby! LoL! They ended up sending me a bunch of paperwork about the "terrible twos". Basicly the key in patience and consistency. Pick a punishment (time out is a pretty good way to go) and stick with it. Then wait til he gets to be about 4. LoL

I sympathize with you. So often we feel that we have to find ways to stop the behavior, but sometimes those behaviors, especially in early childhood, are required for their development. I would suggest you do some research on development at this age and stage for YOUR peace of mind so you can stop blaming yourself for being a bad parent (which we ALL do to ourselves:-), and then take a deep breath and find ways to support your child through this stage and through his frustration. He is trying to assert his independence which is a GOOD thing, and there are so many skills he's trying to learn to join the big kid world he's just starting to aspire to...he will really need gentleness, patience from his closest people (you and Dad) as well as parents that are well-armed with good information about child development. Time-outs are absolutely worthless at this age...it will only make the behaviors worse. Remember that his behaviors are not about you, it's about him working this development stuff out. Finally and most importantly, remember what his intentions are. Even though it may feel like it, he is NOT trying to make you mad or crazy. He is trying to get a need met that he doesn't yet know how to do appropriately.

Take care, love that little stinker, praise his positive behaviors and rest in the knowledge that this too shall pass!!!

Ditto what L. D said.

All I would add is look for what might be freaking him out, like maybe he hates his high chair. Maybe he finds meal time scary because of something that happened?

And don't take it personally (can be difficult, I know!), all 2-yr-olds say no a lot.

He is testing boundaries to see if he is in control. He is recognizing that he is no longer one with you and that he has his own mind and opinions. I am still working through it with my 26month old. Good luck!

Hey, L.! I'm in the same boat as you. My sweet little 19-month-old daughter has turned into a demon-child. Stubborn, naughty, willful! I've been assuming her attitude changes have something to do with the fact that I'm almost full-term with a second baby, but I'm also guessing this is just the age! With our daughter, we've been trying to do more positive discipline and redirection. When she hits, we take her hand and show her how to "be gentle". When she's doing something she shouldn't, we redirect her to an appropriate activity. Timeouts work when children are old enough to understand actions and consequences, but at this age, they're still learning what is appropriate and what isn't. Showing your son the correct way to do things (be gentle rather than no hitting), might be more effective for him. Just make sure you're consistent and loving/gentle in whatever you do and eventually he'll pick up the tips and readjust. Good luck!

You have a little one who is starting to assert his independence. You just have to be firm with him what types of behaiors are expected of him. Good luck