20 Month-old Won't Eat

You might want to pick up the book--Deceptively Delicious by Jerry Seinfeld's wife. It has a lot of good recipes for hiding fruits and vegetables in foods that kids tend to eat (like pancakes, brownies, grilled cheese, etc). It's more work, but it might be worth it. Good luck! My son is very picky too so I know how you feel.

Hello! I have 3 kids and they all went through that stage. My oldest(10) is better. My 9 yo will try anything but my 5 yo is still set in her ways. At 20 months, just keep trying. I ued to make faces with food on a plate(brocolli hair,tomatoe eyes,noodle mouth etc.) anything to make it fun. also some kids my first two love to dip things whetehr it be yogurt or ketchup or ranch dressing. My 5 yo still doesnt ue condiments but my other 2 love them. It is sure frustrating so i sympathize. I have found some foods they will try as they get older. ust remember to try something new every so often and hopefully you willlluck out and get them to try new things.

I have a daughter with similar issues and it is more than a phase if he is gagging and having so much trouble with new foods. I would definitely request a feeding evaluation. Our pediatritian didn't think her issues were a concern until she stopped growing- don't let that one happen. My daughter gets early intervention (you can refer her for this service) for primarily feeding related issues- she also has issues gaining weight as a result. We go through a feeding and nutrition clinic at Mass General and they have been doing all the necessary medical testing to rule out other issues. You are right not to make meal time more stressful- you can also add calories to the food he does eat with butter or heavy cream ect. Sounds like a sensory integration based feeding eval would be helpful. Good luck, I know how very frustrating it can be!

From what you describe, I would not be too concerned, although I would definitely call the ped. and describe this situation to make sure he is growing properly and there are no other issues.
If this is not a symptom of an underlying problem, then I would definitely downplay this, and URGE everyone else to downplay it. I would stop feeding the babyfood imediately, as this is feeding into the issues. My doctor let me know that babyfood is really for the first year of life only. I would give him foods, and if he eats them, don't make a big deal of it. It is very likely this is turning into a power issue, and your son will continue to make a big deal about food if you give him the power to do so.
My doctor also said that it is very common for toddlers to eat just one big meal and to snack for the other two meals. I would work to make meals positive -- maybe play a fun cd and let go of your worries about this issue. It will be okay!

You have gotten some wonderful advice below - to check for allergies, sensory issues, that it is just a phase. My daughter went from the 5% to the 1% on the weight chart at about 15 months and she was put on Pediasure. It is sold in 6-packs in the grocery store/CVS/Walmart and it is not cheap. My daughter has sensory issues still (she is 9 years old now: does not like "mushy" foods or fruits that are even slightly past prime, she prefers the almost white rind part of watermelon for instance). She LOVED the Pediasure and drank it 3x a day as formula for about a year and only snacked on "real" food. The next year she drank it only upon waking in a sippie cup. After another 2 years we switched to Carnation Instant Breakfast in whole milk since it is so much cheaper. She still starts her morning with the Carnation in skim milk. These drink supplements provide not only protein and calcium but vitamins so check with your doctor since we had to stop the prescribed vitamins or else she would have gotten too many. She likes more foods now but will always be a picky eater and most likely remain skinny.

My daughter is very similar, and honestly, we stopped stressing and went zen about meal time. I always offer at least three options, one is a fruit, and often others are crackers, nuts, sesame seeds...meal time is more like snacks in our house. Its also a control thing, and not worth the fight. Good luck. But I do hear you - my daughter won;t even eat grilled cheese or mac n cheese, and honestly sometimes I wish she would! Sometimes lunch is tortilla chips and hummus. And Lots of smoothies. (btw - she's already 2 1/2, and its not getting better yet). hang in there

I agree with the moms that have said it's just a phase. My 25 month old went through it, and is starting to eat normally again. Just keep offering healthy options but don't force him to eat them. If he doesn't want it, let him not eat it. I personally would not give baby food because it may prolong the problem.
With my daughter, I tried offering a small amount of something I knew she'd eat, like rice or mac n cheese, and things that I knew she might reject, like broccoli. She now eats quite a few more things, although I can't deny that mac n cheese is still her favorite food.
I have read that it's normal for toddlers to go through this a couple of times, and that once their growth slows it may seem like they eat nothing at all. My daughter just finished a growth spurt. She must have taken 4 bites of her dinner. Yet she's healthy, big for her age and she just wasn't hungry.

Dear Brenda,

I am sure you are going to get all kinds of advice but I have a 5.5 and 3.5 year old and have suffered through both children not eating at about 2 years. And as hard and heartbreaking as it seems, you have to let him decide what to eat as it is offered to him! My two did NOT starve to death and they are happy healthy children that will try new foods every once in a while.

I always put everything that we are having for a meal on their plate and ask them to give it an honest try! Sometimes they do and most times they don't but the most times a getting better because they are becoming more open to trying new things! I also started having my daughter, at about 2, and my son when he asked to help me make meals, age appropriate of course, and this seem to help with opening their minds to trying the meal "they" helped make.

I know first hand how hard it is watching your baby, your heart not eat and feeling like you are failing as a mother however Brenda, they do eventually pull out of it and start to develop taste for new foods. (And the second one was a little easier because I knew he would be fine) Toddlers do not starve and eat when they are hungry. Hang in there and it will get better!

Been there, suffered that,
S. S.

I know it's very normal for all kids this age to get picky, so it may just be a phase. But it does sound like your son is self-limiting to wheat and dairy based foods, which is very often a sign of wheat and/or dairy intolerance. They crave what is harmful to them. Studies have shown that in kids with wheat and dairy intolerance, the gluten and casein (wheat and dairy proteins) actually turn into opiate like substances in their system, causing them to reject other food and become addicted to the foods they are intolerant of. I would order a home test from www.enterolab.com - an easy home test for gluten and casein intolerance. Much more accurate than most of the allergy testing going on in doctor's offices. It will give you peace of mind and let you know if an elimination diet is warranted.

Otherwise, have you considered he may have some sensory issues around food? Some kids do. It may be worth having an oral sensory evaluation done...OTA in Wakefield/Watertown has a great feeding evaluation and therapy program.

Hopefully it's just a phase though!

Hi -
I TOTALLY can relate to your woes here! I have two boys 3.5 and 20 months. My 3 yr was never really a good eater! He is small and skinny to this day. When he was younger he was not gaining weight etc..his Dr, had us do all this medical work up, eating clinic etc! NOTHING was wrong with him he was just "too busy" to eat. Also I think at that point his stomach had shrunk so he could nibble and then skip a day! He then we to a home day care and would eat there! He was having fun with his friends at the table and would eat with them..his stomach grew and now thankfully he eats!! Not a ton though, its not his "thing." Now with that I tried EVERYTHING to get him to eat from ways of offering, food choices etc. nothing worked! Then his brother arrived, he is 20 months now, but since the beginning of solid foods always ate whatever I offered and would eat a healthy helping! So...I guess my point is I learned from having a second child who was a good eater that it does not matter when I feed him, what I feed him, how it is presented etc... he will eat it! My point? they are in control and will eat if they want. I truely feel that as parents we cannot make them eat!! I tried with my first son and it never worked!! I would suggest trying to take a break from worrying about his intake and feed him what he likes and wants.. he will not become malnorished if he does not get "4 squares a day!" Its a hard thing to swallow for us parents but "ya can't make them eat!" I feel your pain! hang in there!

Our 3 and a half year old eats more snack-style foods than meal-style stuff, so I spoke to our ped and got some different advice from what others here have mentioned re. baby food. He loves fruit but totally rejects raw and cooked veggies. He will eat dried peas and corn, and the stage 2 tubs of carrots and sweet potato. Our ped said to go with that and the baby food as long as he'll eat it! She said it's much better than nothing, though also recommended using a food processor to make a version of it ourselves since it would be cheaper. I sneak spoonfuls of the stage 2 peas and green beans into bowls of fruit and yogurt - he has no idea! She also suggested vitamins, chewy or otherwise. I'd definitely check with your ped on the baby food issue since it seems that there are differing opinions in the professional world.
Best wishes!
-L.

My son is overall a very good eater but goes through phases where he doesn't want to eat anything either. It really gets to my husband; mainly because he does a majority of the cooking and gets excited when he makes something yummy and consequently discouraged when Jack won't try it. We offer only what we are eating and if Jack isn't eating it - oh well. He will not starve. I read an article once that stated at this age you want to look at their weekly intake instead of everyday intake; as some days they are more hungry than others. The funny thing is we usually have leftovers for lunch and Jack more often than not will eat then. I've found that the more you seem to care about it the more obstinate they get. My best friend's son sounds a lot like what you're describing; I watched the feeding once before I had Jack and was appalled - she was force feeding him baby food and visibally agitated and frustrated - how much fun is that? At three, my friend now cooks him chicken nuggets and french fries every night - yuck!

Brenda,

I understand the stress of a child not eating. Our daughter not only is a picky eater but also a preemie and still at 18 months not even close to 20 pounds. I totally again about making the mealtime a happy experience for them. Let them play/paint their tray with milk if that is what they need at that moment. Now I'm able to limit this painting to the end of the meal so we are making progress in many ways.

Things that we have done to help get more nutrients into her and fat are as follows.

Grate carrots and zucchini into the boiling water for the last 2 minutes while cooking mac-n-cheese. Drain and make as always. Hopefully your son won't even know it's there. I've worked my way up to also being able to add really small pieces of tofu to the mac-n-cheese as well.

Mash bananas or grate carrots and apples into pancakes.

Try putting wheat germ inside the grilled cheese sandwich - we make ours with wheat bread.

You can also try mashing banana or adding wheat germ to the yogurt as well.

Some of the other foods my daughter eats that are good for them and good in fats are sunflower butter- I get it at Trader Joe's. You can add this to the pancakes or as a snack roll a banana in it. I sometimes cut up a banana and put sunflower butter (it tastes like peanut butter but less alergenic) on a fork - a small amount and then pick up a piece of banana. We love this with a big glass of milk.

If you can get your son to eat mashed potatoes you can try hinding veggies in that as well as shredded meats. I've put cooked chicken in the mini chopper til it's eraser size shavings and added that to a lot of different things - even pancakes.

I've added broccoli tops to scrambled eggs as well as cheese.

Beans are really good for them too. I've cooked them and take the skin off - my daughter has texture issues - and mashed them with a little milk and added them to different things she eats. Try adding things like this to the stage 3 foods. If he is willing to eat the stage 3 them maybe you can make some of your own foods and put them in the jar so he thinks he's getting one thing but he is getting another. It might be worth a try.

Also the feeding specialist that we have seen suggests offering one new item of food with 3 items they already know at a meal. Even if they don't try it they see it and that is important too. Maybe in the beginning try offering one new item at lunch every other day and see how it goes. If he doesn't like it on his tray, take it off and don't comment about it just go on with the meal.

We have gotten our daughter to eat more when we all eat together. Eating off our dishes - sometimes it works and sometime it doesn't. Sometimes she wants our fork/spoon and that helps, sometimes it doesn't. Food can also be about exploration so I'm going with the flow right now. She is gaining and the doctor is happy with her progress so we are working with the issues she has now.

Just something to note. My newphew at 1 year only ate yogurt and cheerios - that's it!!! I couldn't believe it but that was all he would he. A few months later it all changed. It's been a lot longer than a few months for us but things are improving and the variety is getting more and more.

Hope this helps. I have a ton more suggestions of different foods if you are interested.

L. M

Hi Brenda -

Sounds like there could be some sensory issues going on here. If that's the case it's a little tough to get around but it will get better. Look up info on sensory processing disorder/integration and take a look at some of the checklists, especially the oral list. These kids typically have very specific types of foods that they will or will not eat. Our son is now 6 and has the same diet as your son pretty much. We have been taking him to OT for a year now and things are much easier. He still doesn't eat a huge variety of foods - no veggies - but he sometimes is willing to try a bite of something. My point being - see if SPD could be the root, arm yourself with all the info you can get, get your pedi to recommend an OT, don't let the food thing get to you too much, pick up the cookbook "The Sneaky Chef" , and then relax a little - it will get easier! Good Luck

It's so frustrating, isn't it? We used to say that our son ate "tan food" -- pancakes, nuggets, PB, crackers. Lovely.

Don't make it a battleground - you can't win. It may be a texture issue - it was for my son. Keep going with Stage 3 if you have to, and I agree about hiding things in his food. You cannot imagine the things we hid in pancakes!

If you supplement with over the counter vitamins, be aware that they have warning labels, they are not fully absorbed, and (as my daughter's pediatrician says) you are just purchasing expensive urine! Most of it is excreted/eliminated. It's a waste of money.

You could supplement with a balanced liquid supplement called Now for Kids - it's a delicious vanilla or chocolate powder you mix in juice, milk, water, yogurt, applesauce, whatever. The vanilla mixes with more things in terms of flavor, but a lot of kids love the chocolate just in milk or water. I can give you more info on this and connect you with other parents whose kids didn't eat (including those with sensory, allergy or failure-to-thrive issues). Top company with multiple patents - the key to the products is that they have everything in one blend, and it's highly absorbable, so there's no waste and no worry.

Hi Brenda<
My best advise is this, like every issue is a phase. You don't want it to become a power struggle. Unless he is not on the growth chart, then he is ok & will out grow it. But if you make it an issue so will he. Put what ever is for dinner on the table & go about your business. if he doesn't eat don't worry he will. My son is a great eater- but he also went through this & I didn't offer 10 things- I just gave him what was for dinner & if he ate great if not , he will when he is ready. Good luck.

our pedi had us start vitamins with our 20 month old a few months ago, so that wouldn't be a bad idea - our daughter doesn't eat a lot, and really didn't start regularly eating food until she started day care 2 days a week (I assume it was prompted by watching all the other kids it). the teachers at day care said that kids this age don't tend to eat a lot anyway. our daughter usually gets in one real meal, at lunch (which typically includes baby food, because she likes it and likes to feed herself). breakfast is usually just milk and some crackers if we are lucky. dinner is a few bites of what we are having, or nothing if she doesn't feel like it. I think it is worse to try and force them to eat. that's just my two cents....

Have you tried giving him nothing on his plate, and telling him that the food is stuff that Mommy and Daddy like? I told my son that he wouldn't like anything...and had SMALL portions of a couple of things I knew he would like. He started to ask for some of it, and then more of something else. Sometimes it is the texture, not the taste. As long as he is not grossly underweight, you could try letting him watch, and not have a private, catered meal. "You can eat what we are eating, but you don;t have to...more for me" When he sees that it is not getting you worked up, he may just decide to eat something new. You can also try the sneaky chef cookbook

Sounds like it could be more of a sensory thing w/ textures. My 28 month old is very picky. He will eat stage 3 soups but only certain ones, baby oatmeal because regular is to thick and lumpy and causes him to gag, some noodles, gags at potatoes, likes yogurt but only certain brands again the thickness. he will not touch chicken or turkey because of the texture but will occasionally eat steak. He will flat our refuse to eat if you offer him something that isn't his normal.

LET HIM EAT WHAT EVER HE WILL. They do this- all of them. He will get the nutrients he needs-Don't make eating a battle- that will cause you more problems. Let him eat the things he wnats to eat- Yogurt,bananas, crakers,mac and cheese, grilled cheese, cereal, pancakes, these are not bad things. Add a chewy vitamin or flinstone vitamin and he will be fine he will get older and he will get hungryer. Baby food- i would stop - or chop up food that you want him to try- and put it in the baby food jars. But i would stop the actual baby food.