The book that saved my sanity and probably my children's lives ;) is "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk." It's useful even for very small children.
With diapering, when my boys start to kick or wiggle, I stop reacting--I stop trying to diaper, I look away, inspect my fingernails, look at my watch, rearrange my hair, whatever, just to emphasize that I am not interested in having a wrestling match and I am not going to let it escalate into a big fight. Sometimes it takes a minute, but usually they stop thrashing right away because it's so much more fun to have me talking and singing with them than to wiggle with no reaction at all.
Would your son like to have more bedtime stories? I know it sounds simple and obvious, but my breastfed toddlers needed lots more holding and cuddling while they weaned, and reading to them met that need and helped them doze off comfortably. I also get a lot of mileage out of audio books; you can usually borrow lots of them from the library. It's like getting one last story even after the lights are out, and my kids are often asleep before the story finishes.
As for the biting and hitting, that's definitely not acceptable, but I think you're wise to recognize it as an expression of frustration. Instead of time out, which may fuel his frustration even more, consider helping him find words and making his world less threatening by offering him some "time IN" with a heavy dose of positive attention and validation: "Oh, my! We only bite food; we NEVER bite people! It is not OK to bite/hit. You feel so frustrated that your sister took those blocks. Let's go over here and look at the trucks/Let's ask her if you can have some/Let's go to the kitchen and make some lunch together."
Best wishes!