2 Year Old Refuses to Nap

Dear F.,

That is the exact same thing that my gr grand daughter did, and she really is resting when singing and talking to her stuffed animals.

As my husband always says. Life is just one big series of adjusting, adjusting, adjusting to new things, thoughts, ways of doing, etc. etc. etc. ...as they say.

Umhum, it is, C. N.

My children stopped taking naps at 18 months. Some children don't need tht much sleep. If she is not fussy, I would let her stay up. An idea you can try is to have here help you around the house with the things you would normally do while she is sleeping. This will not only keep her busy, but will teach her a skill that will last a lifetime.

J.

Bummer. My daughter gave hers up at 2 1/2, which was not so bad for me, as she was my second child and it was always a bit of a challenge to squeeze that nap in before having to pick up my oldest at school. Keep is as "quiet time" where she has to stay in her bed (or her room or whatever you decide) and you can still have your hour. I made my older one do quiet time, but somehow I never enforced it with my little one, probably because I always had to run to the grocery store or some other errand! It is not so bad once you get used to it - I found it very freeing not to have to be tethered to a nap schedule.

As long as she's getting enough sleep at night, it's normal! My daughter hasn't napped since she was 23 months. I miss my "holy hour" still, but I can't say that she still needed it! :o) Good luck!

I agree if she is not cranky she probally doesn't need a nap. You could try a couple things like taking her for a long walk or running around at the park to make her more tired. How long does she sleep at night maybe wake her a little earlier in the morning. If all else fails let her know she doesn't have to sleep but she needs to stay in her room and rest/read books/watch a movie for an hour. You could put up a babygate to help keep her in her room while you get things done. Good luck. Remember she won't be young forever the house will keep.

My first kid didn't need much sleep either. If she is sitting in the crib singing and playing quietly, consider yourself lucky--at least you are getting a little break. I know how tiring it is with a toddler and how nice it is to have them sleep for a couple of hours, but I agree with your husband. Not all kids need that long nap, even though WE do!

F.,
Don't give up your hour. Turn it into Quiet Time or Rest Time. Have her play in her room or 'read'. Some days she still might sleep.

I feel your pain. My son stopped napping at 18 months and man did that suck. She may have outgrown her naps is all, there will probably be days when she will nap and days when she won't. I would continue to have her stay in her bed and do quiet time. If she needs the sleep she'll nap, if not then I would say talking to her animals is perfectly fine. Good luck.

For her age she needs about 14hours of sleep in a 24hr period. If she sleeps 13hrs at night, she only needs a short nap during the day. Sleep is important for brain development... Good luck. Everytime they go through a change it takes us a few weeks to figure it out, you'll do it.

Toddlers at this age, tend to protest napping. And they are experts at forcing themselves awake. Then, when they are actually "over-tired" they will actually seem so "wired" and keyed up... that mistakenly others will think they are too "awake" to sleep. But in actuality, they are just over-tired. Over tired kids will actually get more "hyper" many times.

It is not that they are "giving up" a nap and therefore don't need one, but they are getting so independent, want to keep playing, and don't want to. And at this age, they are changing so much in so many ways.

BUT, at this age, naps are still important... even in preschool and Kindergarten, there are nap times for the children. Napping or getting enough sleep, aides in their brain growth, and immune system too, among other things. It is beneficial.

At this age, if she does not want to go down or actually fall asleep... it's best to have a "quiet time." If she is and can just stay in her place, and sing/talk to her stuffed animals etc. and entertain herself quietly, then fine. I know it cuts into her "nap" time... but, at least she is in her bed doing this and having quiet time.

In tandem with this, still keep to a regular nap time, everyday... or quiet time. Keep the routine the same everyday. Consistency is important. In time, she will get back to regularity. This is a hiccup in her nap habits for now... but she can get back to it. About 1/2 hour before you want her to nap, give her a verbal "warning" that nap time is coming up. Toddlers don't like having a "shock" being told all of a sudden in the middle of something that NOW they have to nap. Let her know in an encouraging way, that nap time is coming up. Then put away the toys, change into jammies or what not, go pee/change diaper, darken the room or house, and then lead her into her room or bed, or where ever she sleeps.

I have done this with both my children. Both my children ( 5 yrs. old and 24 months old), STILL nap, everyday. My youngest naps twice a day, my eldest naps afterschool. Sure, there were days when they didn't "need" a nap... and so on those days, I still kept a quiet time, at the same time, everyday. But first seeing if they would nap.

Another method I did, when my girl was that age, was telling her it was MY nap time, that MOMMY was going to nap. Then I would go about "getting ready", plunk myself down on the couch, tell her to come by me, put some toys next to me for her to "play" with, then shut my eyes. Reverse psychology. Sure, I would keep my eyes and ears "open" and watch her. But at the same time, I could lie down, and "rest." It worked many times. I would also tell her to "help Mommy" and let me rest etc.... and she felt she was then HELPING me... and would feel all proud "letting" Mommy "rest." (wink).

But in time, my kids, throughout their growth changes and development... have still maintained a regular nap habit. And they still go to bed fine at night. It is because i have, still everyday, kept to the same routine of napping and/or quiet time and my not giving up, and keeping to the same pattern.

Sure, some kids just don't need a nap...but, it's more of the fact that they don't want to, "seem" fine staying awake, and then the parent letting go of naps, because it takes so much effort to get them back to napping. So then the child ends up not napping and being "allowed" to stay awake. So the child gets used to that.

But at this age, it is a phase. If you keep up regular habits, you can still manage a "nap" or quiet time, at a certain time of the day. Then many times, in the midst of a "quiet time" the child will fall asleep. Kids also need to wind-down first... before napping. Otherwise they are still to wired to go down.

I believe it is a phase. As I have gone through that with both my children. At this age, it is a fork-in-the-road as far as napping...(1) you either disregard napping at this point in time... and let it go. Or, (2) you still nurture a "habit" of napping and/or quiet time...but it takes patience and consistency. Everyday. For myself, I chose the 2nd choice. My kids still nap even this day. They are napping now as a matter of fact. But that is just me. I know it's not easy getting kids to nap... but somehow, I have managed this habit with my kids. My daughter will even say she likes to nap when she is tired. My son, if he is tired, will even take my hand and lead me to his crib.

Everybody is different. Decide what is best for you and the whole situation. If she were in preschool/daycare etc., they would be having the children nap.

Good luck,
Susan

Hi,
Maybe try putting your little one down later in the afternoon. 2 or 3 or even 4 pm. I've found putting my girls down later seemed to help. However, they did sing/play for a little bit before settling down. I think that is totally fine. They need to learn to relax and just fall asleep. Kind of like myself. I don't automatically fall asleep when trying to nap or going to bed at night. I think about stuff. Don't sweat it. Just let your little one have that alone time to sleep or play in the crib.

my daughter sstoped napping about that age too... i hated it too. but NOW i hate it if she DOES get a nap. i realized that if she did get one her bedtime was very effected! so i just have a quiet time where i let her relax on the couch with a show or have her color with some soft music like mozart or lulabies. this is all she needs for down time. and is usually involved enough that i can get some things done... but not much! lol good luck hope this is helpfull
J.

This is nothing to freak out over. Your husband is absolutely correct. Some kids simply need less sleep. Accept your daughter for who she is and do away with your preconceived ideas of how a child her age should be. I have four kids, and although two were great nappers until they were about 3 1/2, the other two have just never needed as much sleep. One never napped much, even as a baby, and the other stopped napping right before his 2nd birthday. Those two kids are now 23 and 8, and they still need less sleep than the rest of us. So.... what you do is switch from nap time to quiet time. She rests quietly in her room, looking at books or playing quietly with toys, and you accept that naptime is a thing of the past. Motherhood is a holy thing - chores are not. :0)

Sorry this response is so late, but I wanted to respond to you. My 3 1/2 year old son used to nap 2 1/2 to 3 hours every day, then suddenly stopped recently. I had always planned to have him keep spending "quiet time" in his bed when he no longer needed the nap, because I need the break in the middle of the day! It happened sooner than I expected and it is disappointing to me because it's not the same as when he is sleeping (I have another younger boy, too, and I LOVE the period of quiet every afternoon). But he stays in his bed and plays and talks, and I am getting used to having the "noise" and still enjoying the break.

I think as long as you continue to give her the opportunity to nap and have her in bed at a reasonably early hour every night, she will get the sleep she needs. And if she doesn't need to sleep at nap time, I feel the "quiet time" is valuable for everyone (kid and mom!).

Hope this helps a little! :)

Hi F., I have a 2 1/2 year old and for the past few months he has not been wanting to nap either. If I put him in his room by himself he just gets up and does what ever he wants, I have music going in his room to drain out some of the noise but lately I have been going in his room with him and laying down with him. He feels better when I'm in there with him and he knows that he has to lay down, he does still fight it though but I know that he is tired because he will rub his eyes and lay down on the floor right before I put him in there. Maybe you could lay down with her if her bed is big enough or just sit in the room with her and when she falls asleep you can get up and do what ever you need to do. I have found this works pretty well for my son so I hope that maybe this can work for you too! Another thing is sometimes I do have to wait until later in the day to put him down. I have found that sometimes when I put him down for his nap at 3:00 in the afternoon, he will go to sleep faster. I hope this helps! God Bless you!

My daughter didn't really stop napping until about 3, but she went through phases that would last a week or two where she just wouldn't fall asleep. She too would just hang out and sing or talk to herself which was fine with me. Then she would go back to sleeping everyday. I would be consistent about still putting her to bed everyday, if she sleeps, great, if not, then maybe she will the next day. once I stopped putting my daughter down everyday because she didn't fall asleep, she then didn't want to lay down at all. That meant no quiet time for me! I even started putting her to bed and letting her look at books and called it quiet time. It was great and she would stay in there for a couple of hours. Kids stop napping at all different ages. if she doesn't seem tired and cranky in the early evening that's great, then she might not need the sleep everyday. i would still do quiet time, just to give you some too. i hope this helped. Good luck.

Hi F., I have a two year old boy that has done the same thing off and on a few seperate times in the past few months. some people have told me that he is trying to give up his nap, but I don't think so, because he actually does need that sleep.( He will sleep two hours sometimes) I found that he would resist sleep for awhile and if I just stuck with the routine and put him down at his nap time every day, he would get past it and start sleeping well again. You know your child better than anyone and if you feel like you daughter still needs that nap, then just persevere, I bet she will get back on track in no time. Also, if she chooses to stay awake during her nap time and is not grumpy after, then just let her be. I have sort of learned to do that with my boy, and I just go about my business and after a adequate chunk of time if he is still awake, I go and get him up. Take your time out, you need it!! God Bless. :) H.

My little boy, who just turned 2 in July, went through a short nap phase a few days here and there. I started to try to figure out what was happening. On the days he napped for two hours or more, we had been to the park or swimming or some other activity that he exerted energy doing. So, even though everyday we can't make it to a class or activity, I try to make sure that he exerts some of that energyand it works fairly well. While there are still some days he naps for an hour and half, he does nap well now.

If I can ask, what's her night time sleep like? Does she go to bed early or late. When I talked to my son's doc he gave me a list of the amount of sleep kids for each age group 'should' be getting for maximum growth.

Honestly, it would stress me out too. My daughter was taking 2 naps (2 hrs for the first nap and 1-2 hours the second nap) until about 2 months ago. Tomorrow she will be 25 mo old. It was hard to switch her to one nap a day and she would sleep about 1-2 hour at a time. It was hard because I knew she needed more sleep. She wouldn't necessarily get cranky but would be more aggressive, whiny and demanding.
This is what has worked for me (and I re-read Healthy sleep habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth).
I make sure my daughter is awake by 7am every day. Bedtime is between 8-830pm.
I feed her breakfast and take her out to a class, the mall or the park. Something stimulating and tires her out. I feed her lunch around 1130-12pm depending on how tired she looks. Then I put her down for her nap between 12-1230... again depending on how she's doing. And for the past week, she's been sleeping 3-4 hr for 1 nap!! It took about a month but I'm so glad I stuck with it. The times I listed are my goals but it's really important to be flexible and go with the flow some days.

I agree with the others that some kids don't need as much sleep but I think some sleep is very important. Kids that are well rested learn better. So go with your gut and try different methods and try, try, try not to get stressed. I know it's hard.