My daughter weaned shortly before her 2nd birthday and has been weaned for about 2 months. She has all of a sudden wanted to nurse again, although I have clearly told her that there is no milk. I have tried just cuddling her and she is ADAMANT that she wants to nurse- milk or no milk. I've searched and the only similar situations I've found is when mom is nursing new babies. I really don't need to read any negative comments from anti-nursing folk. I just want to know if anyone else has been in this situation and how did you handle it?
I, too, have been wondering if something has been going on with her. She has been sick lately. She latches on and can clearly see there is no milk, but she is just "comfort nursing" It obviously soothes her because she falls asleep very shortly after. I am torn about doing this because I want the best for her, and I want to everything "right." But, I don't want to nurse a 7 year old either. Yes, I'm one of those crazy moms-LOL
Ladies who responded...thank you for taking the time to offer me your thoughts and let me know that my situation wasn't weird-haha. Whether I agree with your views or not, I appreciate all of your advice and input. I have to tell you honestly...I weaned my daughter out of pressure. First, my ex (her Father) was always making comments about me BF, eg. "She's going to become a lesbian." Uh, can you see why he's an ex? I just got so that I got tired of defending my choices. I became embarrassed that I was still BF her at 2 yrs old and started to try and hide it. I also felt that other people were judging me, as well, for her being 2 years old and still nursing. So, I decided to it was probably time to wean her. But, you know what? I missed it so much. I missed that bond with my daughter and I had regrets. She seemed to be OK for at least a month. But, now that she's wanting to "comfort nurse," again, the heck with it. I'm going to give her all the comfort she needs. However, I have no intentions of letting her use it to control mommy - I can tell when she wants comfort and when she's just being a nerve wracking 2 year old LOL. So, thanks again everyone. I'm glad I get another chance to reconnect with my little girl....but., I still don't want to nurse a 7 year old. :-D
Have you tried letting her latch on so she can see that there is no milk? She may just be remembering what's it's like and wants to give it a try again. Once she realizes that there really isn't any milk there then she'll probably just forget about it and move on.
Has anything else huge happened recently? Something that could be causing her to regress a little and search out her former coping mechanisms?
What do you want to do?
I don't think there's anything wrong with letting her nurse if that's what she wants (still semi nursing a 2.5 year old here so no judgements, lol).
I really don't think I have milk anymore (and occasionally he'll ask where's the milk?) but he still latches on for about 30 seconds (no longer than 2 minutes tops) before bedtime.
When she weaned, did she do it on her own? Was she going through anything then (teething)? Maybe it wasn't true weaning, just an extended nursing strike.
I do think if you're okay with restarting, she's old enough for some rules (I don't know when and where she was nursing before she weaned but you could say before bed only or something like that).
Good luck!
Since you have no milk and she is just doing it to relax it most likely wont last all that much longer. Don't offer it to her, only do it when she wants to and make sure to have some other "lovey" with you at the same time. If she is holding her favorite stuffed animal or blanket at the same time she's suckling you will eventually just get her to soothe only with the "lovey".
Hi there,
I'm with the other mommies, let her nurse even if there is no milk. She will eventually stop nursing when she's ready. My little one nursed until she was 2 years 9 months! I always said I'd let her nurse until she was ready to stop, but was surprised it went on that long. I was a bit self conscious about being one of "those" mommies who was nursing a child who was that old, but it was just at night before going to bed. And what's the difference between "comfort nursing" and using a pacifier? There are plenty of 3-year olds who use pacifiers.
When I was about 5 months pregnant with our second child she stopped nursing one day and asked me for a glass of milk. I have no idea how long she was nursing without milk! And she asked to nurse several times after that, mostly when we were traveling or when she was really over tired. But she hasn't asked to nurse since she turned 3, even though she's been watching her baby brother nurse.
Great job breastfeeding for so long! And for listening to what your daughter needs and for being open minded enough to let her continue to nurse. Sounds like she will stop soon. :)
I forgot to mention, my daughter transitioned from nursing to holding a breast while falling asleep. Don't be surprised if your daughter asks to put her hand on your chest to fall asleep or other times for comfort. Seems like a natural next step in "letting go" of breastfeeding. :)
I really like the term used here: "Comfort nursing" for this behavior. My youngest daughter also had this desire, wanting to nurse, after weaning. I would tell her the milk was gone, but she didn't mind, she just wanted to be near me, the familiar smell and position instantly soothed her. And I don't recall it hurting. So it will pass. Have a lovey toy around to slip into her hands, between you and her and this will pass.
Great job for breastfeeding this long and for being so in tune with your daughter's needs! I'm VERY pro-breastfeeding, so I don't understand why it's such a big deal to continue when a child is only 2. Their needs are still so high!!!!
The new wave is showing that the AAP is going to extend their recommendations from age 1 to age 2, and I really hope it happens! Breastfeeding at any age is beneficial to mom and child, and there doesn't have to be milk :)
Many moms are concerned about how long a child will nurse, but I don't know of any 7 year olds who are still asking to nurse, although it wouldn't surprise me. Our society has put such a taboo on women's breasts that nursing a 7yo would be considered sexual molestation! That being said, I don't want to be nursing my 7yo either... LOL
Sounds like the comfort latching is working if it puts her to sleep. I nursed my last daughter until a month before she turned 3. I don't think because she needs it now, that she will still be doing this at 4 or 5. Sounds like you are helping her/tuning in with what she needs now.
My thought is that something is going on to make her feel uncertain or insecure. So she looks to her old comfort. Is she teething? Did she start school? I don't think there is anything wrong with comfort nursing nor do I think you need to worry about the situation. She might think she wants it but her desire for it will pass. You can either give in and hope she decides she's over it or just stick to your guns and say no. My son is 2 1/2 and still nurses before bed so no judgements from me!
Hello J., I answer this as a person with not only 5 children and having nursed several foster babies but as a person who has lived over seas in areas where women nurse until a child is 3-4.
I have to say in all honest means that if your child has been weaned then you are doing a disservice to yourself and to her by letting her become the baby once again. I was taught by women that again nursed til late, that once a child has been weaned they need to be given something to replace the comfort of mom's breast or then it becomes like other things a power issue....I can stay up, I can get out of time out, I can etc. @2 little ones at smart as a dickens and are in a state of transitionfrom babyhood to toddlerhood. What you do now can make the differance for the next part of development and how the child will learn to control things or learn that some things are ok to feel. Hope some of this helps. I also want to tell you after a discussion with one of my children who is now a parent" can I ever do it right?" PLEASE do not put this burden on yourself. We are all in a learning state. I am now with children in the home but also as a grandmother of several learning lots all the time. My husband & I have always said that Parenthood, is like a theme park ride at Disneyland.. a scream/surprise at every turn and liht and dark times along the way-- but at the end you are safe and ok and just can't wait to get back on the ride again. That is parenthood-- Thank Heaven as you wake up for a new day to endure( if you have teens), and learn patience and at the end of the day ThanlHeaven you not only made it through along with your family but have gained wisdon you didn't have that morning. Enjoy your world as a parent it is the greatest adventure you will ever have and the greatest accomplishment you will achieve.
Yes it is fine. If she weaned on her own for her to start without you nursing a new one or seeing it on a regular basis otherwise may mean that something is going on her with her. I'm almost 5 months pregnant and my 2 year old is still nursing even though I haven't had any milk for over six weeks. She won't nurse forever. We are also nursing just for naps and sleep at night with the occasional comfort nurse during the day and if she wakes at night requesting it.
I weaned my son at 21 months and he did not want to stop either. Someone suggested that I put bandaids on my nipples at the times he was used to nursing and explain to him that my nipples are soar and hurt when I nurse him so I need bandaids to protect them and he couldn't nurse anymore. He was very sympathetic and even when he was tired and was falling asleep or waking up and wanting the reassurance of breastfeeding, he would see and feel the bandaids and remember. We transitioned to cuddling instead so he didn't feel abandoned and he was fine with that alone within a couple days. I wore the bandaids for about a week and then didn't need them anymore. Good luck!
J.
It sounds like she needs extra comforting. Can you say, no nursing, but we can have a nice cuddle on the couch?
I weaned my son at 2.5 months and he was a tiny bit interested a few months later, but not adamant. I just told him I had no more milk. Part of the problem you have is that you probably DO have milk in there - I don't know if she can tell by smell or whatever. Do YOU want to continue nursing, or are you happy with the cuddling? It's your body, and you have to be happy with the choice. It may beharder to wean again, though, when it comes time.
Since my son was older, I was able to tell him that nursing was for little babies and he was a little boy. I don't know if that would work for your situation.
