2 Year Old MONSTER!

Okay, I don't know what your set up is at home but put 90% of the toys away!!! (I keep ours in bins and in the closets and my children are not permitted to go into their closets, they have to ask and then I get the toy/game)....most kids are so overstimulated by having too much at their disposal...they usually pull out all the toys and make a huge mess but then they don't play with them and clean up time is crazy...so by putting most of it away and rotating your toys (I usually switch out toys once a month )...it's like Christmas for them and it helps keep them occupied for days because it's all new again. It also helps control clean up time... next, if your son throws or abuses a toy put the toy in time-out, someplace your son can see but not get to...and he can have the toy back when he treats it correctly...about snacks...set up a routine...if your kids watch t.v. tell him when Dora(whatever) comes on you can have a snack....don't bend...also I don't know what your rule is for food but my kids have to sit in their highchair or seats at the table to eat...this cuts down on the excessive snacking because what 2yr old wants to sit at the table all day and miss all the action... my best advice is stick to a routine because this will eliminate most tantrums because the child will know what to expect...also naptimes are sacred and they shouldn'y be missed except for RARE occassions...tired kids are grumpy kids...My last tidbit would be give your child words to help him express himself better...name everything..."you are angry and that's okay but we don't throw things" have your child repeat you(not to say it correctly but to understand)...and remember don't give in to the fit, it's okay that he is having them but you have to teach him how to behave and say sorry and "hug not hit" and be ready to pack it in and leave if you are somewhere and he isn't doing the right thing...you'll leave once or twice and they'll get it and the tantrums will stop! Goodluck!

2 yr olds are tough because they know what they want, can do a lot of stuff, but feel frustrated a lot. Get him outside and wear him out. If you keep him busy doing things he won't have enough free time to get into trouble ... plus he'll sleep like a rock the minute he stops.

Try to settle into a routine so he knows what'll happen next. Kids love routine.

Hi J.,

Ten minutes in time out is not effective. It's 1 minute for every year. It's much more manageable to keep putting him in time out for 2 minutes than for ten.

I agree with over stimulation. Try to only have so much out for him to play with at a time. I alos think that too many two year olds are given too much independence. They need to stay in confined areas and need to learn that they can't go everywhere. So gates are still a must (it will help your sanity as well).

Good luck - and stay strong!!

Also, don't react to bad behavior. Sometimes it's a game a toddler will play. If I throw my food, I get attention from mommy. Try to not react for a few days and see if there's a difference. It will be hard but may be worth it in the end.

I read the other response and agree that routines are the best to curb bad behaviors....we change up our snack routine different times of the day....usually in the am we snack at the kitchen table...but afternoon snacks we always have on out front porch or in the yard - somewhere outside..even when it's chilly its a fun little thing we do we bundle up and have a quick snack outside for some fresh air....Your son is old enough, maybe ask him to pick two places he'd like to have snacks and stick to it...tantrums on th e other hand deserve a toy free time out....I've read a minute for every year so yours woould be 2 minutes and then I usually talk to my daughter before I let her get up.....and it's the same spot all the time...she sits on the bottom step of my starircase....just because it's out of view from the kitchen and playroom...a pretty boring spot in our home.Be consistant,and as difficult as it is don't give in.I admit it's hard....Some days I thought Id lose my mind - but usually the bad tantrums stem from something more like she is tired or doesn't feel well......also remember the more you raise your voice the more they scream - they see they are getting a reaction from you so to them it's a little game..who couls yell louder.....so while you bite your lip, in your calmess voice bring him to time out! :)

I scanned the responses you received and have one little piece of advice I'd like to add: make sure you're not giving him too much sodium, sugar and caffeine. Too much of these would be like throwing him onto a behavioral roller coaster ride. I know it's tough. My little girl doesn't eat much but she's a grazer and I also find it diffiult to have healthy options available when she gets hungry. But try your best to keep some available such as steamed fresh veggies, fruit, low-sodium canned veggies, whole wheat pasta, white meat chicken, cheese sticks, peanut butter, fish sticks...the list is long. Do some research online. Limit juice, soda (of course!), chips, ice cream, candy, cookies, etc, etc. Think of each snack as a mini meal, not dessert. Begin paying attention to labels. Good luck!

My son is 21 months and I'm having similar issues. Time out is not effective for him - he will get out of time out and go right back to doing the thing that put him in time out to begin with! I tried to just keep going to time out every time he did that and I swear he just defiantly kept doing the behavior! So I've stopped time out until he's older.

But I'm using modified time out of my own design. If he did something with his hands (hitting, throwing) I'll hold him in my lap, holding his hands, and count to 21 (his age in months) and say NO HITTING sternly but calmly. Then I let him up, with a hug and a kiss, and I say "Can you say sorry for hitting?" He usually says "Yes" because he can't say sorry yet - he has about 40 words and sorry isn't one of them. Then he goes to play without a problem. (If he kicked I hold his feet, if he climbed on the table we sit in the chair - whatever makes the point.)

I don't know why this works better than time out for him, but it does. I'm also starting to add emotions to what I say: "You are mad, but no hitting." very simple, don't try to reason with him yet because he won't understand if you say too much "I know you are frustrated because you can't get that toy to work the way you want it to but you can't hit Mommy because you feel that way."

I know that a lot of his frustration comes from the fact that he can't say a lot of words yet, he does have a handful of signs, and 40 words, but depending on how well your son can communicate that could be part of the issue.

Good Luck