2 Year Old Is Becoming a Bully

I had the same trouble with my son . Until one day we were at the park last summer and some kid was being real mean to the other children. I then explained my son that the he was being a "bully" and that no one likes to play with a bully. Ever since that day he has been a different kid. He will even tell kids that push or hit him to stop being a bully because no one will want to play with them. We were watching a "Rugrats" movie the other day and he said to me "mom, Angelica is a bully". I am not sure if you are familiar with the Rugrats but he was right, she is a bully. Aren't children fun??

J., have you ever watched The Nanny on TV? I am being very serious. She has a wonderful way of dealing with kids of all ages. One thing she does is have a "Naughty Chair". When the child misbehaves she puts the child in the chair, even if she has to carry him/her.

The Naughty chair is explained in advance when the child is not misbehaving. It is a short little chair that sits in the open in the family room, living room or kitchen. If the child gets out of the chair then the mother nicely asks the child to return because their time is not up. If they run away, yell, scream or whatever the mother or father puts the child back in the chair.

The time in the Naughty Chair is one minute per age. The child is expected the apologize nicely. The parent gives the child a hug and tells them that she knows that the son or daughter will think next time before doing.... Then asks them how they are going to behave next time. Patience, love and great listening are very important for this process to work.

It is also important that both parents participate if they are living together or if not, then they each have a Naughty Chair in their home.

It really only takes a couple of times for the child to get that his/her behavior will not be tolerated.

Hope this helps,
M. Binder, grandmother
www.toy-train-table-plans-store.com

I agree with all of the responces. I do alittle of everything. Repation is the key with what ever you do. If my son(6) knows he got off without punishment even once or twice that day, it is usually a very difficult day. My son's problem is his smart mouth. But he also whent threw that stage at about 4. My point is that if it's not one thing, it's another with kids.(After all, why would they need us after 7 or 8 if it wasn't.) Stick with what you feel is the best method, you know what's best. My guess is your a great mom, and it will pass after time if you stick to your guns. Good luck.

Don't worry! This isn't just a boys issue! My three year old daughter is in a stage where EVERYthing is hers and takes things from her 20 month old sister - not to play w/ it herself, but only b/c she doesn't want her sister to play w/ it! They are in a very selfish stage right now, but it IS just a stage. It's SO HARD to remain calm and try to work through those days where your child looks like a monster around other kids, but it will get better! Even now we're working on teaching our daughter the meaning of "hurt feelings"...and she's really catching on. She's realizing that when her sister or a friend cries b/c she pushed them or took a toy, that it hurts their feelings. I try to point this out to her when SHE cries when pushed or a toy is taken from her. So, I remind her, "Remember when so-and-so took your toy away and it made you cry because your feelings were hurt? That's why your sister is crying now. You took HER toy and now HER feelings are hurt. Isn't that sad? How can you make her happy"? and she often times puts the two together and gives back the toy or she "trades" a toy. It's something I have to do repeatedly, but eventually her mind will wrap around the lesson and she'll get it!

So, try teaching empathy to him...it won't work all the time or in all situations, but it seems to curb the fights around here sometimes!

Hello J.! I remember those times so well. What worked for me was a "time out" chair. Much like the "Naughty Chair" mentioned from another mom. While in the "Time Out" chair, I would tell him that I love him, but do not like his behavior, then walk away and tend to other things. If he gets up, he goes right back and the 2 minutes start again. Stay strong!!! When you talk to him, make sure you distinguish the difference between him as a person and his behavior!! Be consistant with whatever you decide to do...both mom and dad, and be sure to let your day care know what you're doing at home so they can duplicate it while you're at work. If you're out somewhere and he's decided to hit or throw a tantrum, calmly pick him up, talk softly in his ear and remind him about how much you love him, but will not accept his behavior. If it continues, out to the car we go. Try not to get caught up in offering a "treat" if he is good...that will only come back to haunt you later on!!! I'm sure you'll find the right thing for you and your son! Take care J.!!

My son was the exact same way at that age. What worked for me was taking him away from the kids at the playground, making him sit next to me for a few minutes while telling him very firmly that he cannot hit or we will leave. I've had to leave playgrounds many times b/c of this, and after a few months of this, he got the message. My son is also much bigger than other kids his age, but now that he's almost 4, his behavior has improved greatly. Keep at it. He will grow out of it.

My boys both went through the same stage... it is a stage... but obviously needs to be addressed. With my first son I had a kitten and I would teach him how to pet her, to be gentle, and how to play gentle. I would use words like "use gentle touches". Then when he would play with his brother or other children and daycare I would use (and encouraged the daycare provider) to use the same phrase. Sometimes they just need some help putting one-and-one together. Maybe that will help!