2 Year Old Crys When We Pick Her up from Daycare

I'm a childcare provider. I agree pretty closely with Kirsten on this one. I especially want to reiterate that it could be the "meltdown" at the end of a whole day of separation from you - not necessarily that she doesn't want to transition or go home. And as hard as it may be to hear, she could also be telling you she missed you or was mad at you for going away. I sympathize with the fact that daycare is a "non-negotiable" for most parents. I'm not suggesting you change it; just know that this is a possible reality you'll have to accept and work through. You may want to start lingering longer at pick-up time and ask her to show you what she's been doing. Usually, when a parent relaxes for a bit and is willing to join the child in "their" world (which her school is a part of), the child will decide when they're comfortable transitioning. If the daycare is unwelcoming to your lingering, I would say that's a bad sign. I know many daycare providers want parents to come and go quickly, and I think that's dead wrong. I would also advise against correcting "behavior," because I think the message the child receives, when you stifle crying, is "You need to express what I am comfortable with, not what you really feel." I think we need to embrace every expression of a child's and look for the underlying message, to empathize and help them redirect: not the same as "redirecting" a child. "Smart Love" by Peiper and Peiper, addresses these issues, as well as many others. That book is what I primarily base my childcare philosophy on (though I have to draw a slightly harder line). I can't recommend it highly enough. Hope this helps.

My son will still do that sometime. It isn't that he is unhappy to see me, he just hates the change. He doesn't like the transition between home and daycare and then daycare and home. On days when he is like that now, I just turn on some nice music and leave him be for the 10 minute drive home. That usually gives him enough time to "transition" and enough time for me talk myself out of having me feelings hurt! :)

Im a child psychologist: I wouldn't worry too much about the crying. It may be several things: crying in response to the realization that she has not seen a family member for the day, or just one of those things (girls are generally far more dramatic than little boys, and often use the crying as a form of easy manipulation). Remember that she has only been in daycare for 6 weeks, and it may take her awhile to become used to the transition between home and daycare.
Ignore the crying - the more you react to it, the more she is likely to continue the behavior. Talk to her as if she is not crying, like its just any normal day - once you stop worrying and reacting to it, she'll realize that crying is not getting her anywhere, and will stop. Reassure her that Mommy, Daddy, or Grandma will ALWAYS come to pick her up at the end of the day, and that she never has to worry about one of you being there.

If the crying is really killing you, there is nothing wrong with using a little bit of positive reinforcement to help her get over the crying bit. Tell her at the beginning of the day that, if she uses her big girl voice at the end of the day, she may get something special - it could be anything from a trip to the ice cream store once a week, or something simple like the reward of a really pretty, sparkly sticker she gets when she makes it to the car without protesting

Hi A.,
Does your daughter cry normally? Is she an emotional little girl? As an adult, I don't cry a lot, but recently reunited with some family members I have not seen for about 12 years. I grew up with them (cousins) and when I got to see them again, I cried. It was just an emotional thing for me. I wasn't sad, wasn't jumping for joy, just emotional. If someone had asked me why I was crying, I would have had to say, "I don't know".

Maybe just a hug will do.

The lady before me is exactly right! I am a daycare provider and deal with a few children doing the same thing to their parents when they arrive. My parents get really upset, especially the Moms. The children throw fits, cry, scream, and just make pick up time miserable. I decided to make Fridays Treat Day, To help out parents at pick up time. The children that are well behaved all week Monday ~ Thursday when their parent arrives and the child does what the parent ask I give them a treat at the end of the week. I let them pick out something from the "Treat Basket" from a sheet of stickers to a small treat that they dont usually have. The "Treat Basket" is only seen by the children on Fridays. It has seems to work so far! Hope that helps!