2 Year Old and Sleeping

Updated on January 29, 2009
K.C. asks from Rockford, MN
10 answers

Hello! I have a very active almost two year old who will not take a nap. Ocassionally she will, but not very often! By 5:30 she's falling asleep during dinner!We've tried a nap ritual similiar to a night time ritual. Lunch,read a book,rock. She goes to daycare a few hours a week and does not nap there very often either. Here's a confession I have to make. For the past 6 months she's been sleeping with me at night.She was climbing out of her crib so we converted it into a toddler bed. She really doesn't like it!It was turning into late nights! I have to get up at 3 am because I work an hour away and need to be there by 5am. I was tired and just brought her to bed with me. She sleeps great while I'm there! she told me her big girl bed is to small and to short!I'm going to try buying new sheets and letting her pick them out and "decorate" her big girl the way she wants to.We were thinking about trying a twin bed too.Here's another problem! We live with my in-laws! My father-in-law is sick. I've tried letting her cry but am afraid of keeping them awake. Do I just explain to them that it's going to be rough for awhile and just let her cry? How do I make everyone happy and well rested?

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B.N.

answers from Madison on

My 2year old DS was also not wanting to nap. But I explained to him that he didn't have to nap, but he did need to have quiet time. He needs to play/sleep/read quietly in his room. He has books in his room and typically plays there for a while then falls asleep. Occasionally he doesn't nap, but that's not the norm. She may be mad at first since she's used to sleeping w/ you and not napping, but she also needs to know that you are the parent and some things are not optional. If she wants a choice give her other things in her life to control. I also think that a twin mattress may be a good idea. Let her pick out some decorations and see how that works. Good luck I know that I need nap time more then the kids do!

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

you dont have to let her cry. theres no reason to do that, of course, you know your child.
sorry for your situation.

i want you to know that if you and husband are ok with her sleeping with you, that is fine! :D its not unhealthy, its not going to cause her to have to sleep with you forever.... its fine!
more people do it than you think!
she might just need some closeness, kids grow 2 steps forward and one step back, the one step back is the time where they need reassurance, love, and they need you to fulfill whatever need they are having during that time. :D it might last a week, it might last a few months, it might last another year. you just dont know, but you can be sure that shes going to move on at some point.
you can try putting her mattress on the floor in your room if there is space, you can try just letting her walk into your room at night but she cant wake you up, she can sleep on a blanket on the floor even.
just do what you have to do. you have the instincts for your child. you do what you know is best for your family. :D
good luck

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H.E.

answers from Bismarck on

Hello Krisie C! I have a 2 year old as well that had trouble sleeping through the night in her big girl bed. However, I also have a 6 year old and a 4 year old who went through the very same thing. So I'm here to reassure you that it's just a season in your two year old's life and it will pass! :) Sleep is right around the corner, I promise. Really, it's all about trial and error and what works best for your little girl. It's extremely important to set clear guidelines for her. Those little ones need those boundries! I think the trick is to make it appealing to her. So you are on the right track with letting her take responsiblity for picking out her own sheets and "decorating" her own bed. Also, the more you stick to the routine of bedtime (brush teeth, story, prayers, song..or whatever your usual is) the safer she will feel about her own space. Have you tried having her favorite calm music in her room on repeat for the whole night? When times have been desperate we have said, "ok Gracie, if you are big girl and sleep in your bed all night long, Mr. Snuggles with get to Cuddle with you! But if you get out of bed, Mr. Snuggles will sleep with me, and I think he would much rather snuggle with you because Daddy snores." (or something to that effect.) You could also try the reward system where you promise her a special treat or sticker out of the "treasure box" if she can make it all through the night in her bed like a big girl. (If she fails, of course, don't demean her, but say, "Oh no! We forgot to be a big girl!! Let's try eating our super power sticks (CARROTS) tonight for dinner. I bet that will help you be a big girl tonight!" and then talk about it throughout the day to work her up for it that night, so she is prepared and ready to please!)
and try, try again...
While I may not be able to offer you the perfect solution, I will tell you we have all been through it and all survived. :)
As for your in-laws, hopefully they remember the time that they had a two year old, and give you a little bit of lee-way.
Good LUCK!! :)

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We use the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She is known as the sleep lady and she has featured on Dr. Phil and Oprah, etc. The book works wonders. And it has sections for situations such as your own. It is a quick read because it is broken up into sections by age. Also, it is a gentle approach and you won't have to let her cry it out. Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Lincoln on

I had a similar problem with my 2 daughter when we converted her crib. So we had to let her CIO until she got used to it. We would just keep putting her back in bed and after a couple of days she went to sleep in only a couple of minutes and she sleeps all the way through the night! So I would agree with letting your in laws know that it might get a little rough for a few days but just to bare with you and it will pass soon. I agree with letting her "decorate" her bed. It makes them feel like it is more THEIR bed. Good luck!!!!

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M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I'm not sure I'll be a lot of help b/c we've had similiar issues. We didn't do the toddler bed though, we just went from his crib to a twin bed and box spring on the floor. He loves his bed and we spend a lot of time playing on it and reading books on it to get him used to it. The first few weeks we did have to leave and let him cry for 10-15 minutes just to get it into his head that it wasn't an option not to sleep there, then we'd go back in and sit with him and he'd be out cold. I think seeing that mommy and daddy can lay on his bed to made it ok to sleep there. He was in the bad habbit of coming to our bed in the middle of the night but we're working on stopping that by just sitting with him in his room until he goes back to sleep. Trust me, it will be a rough couple nights, maybe even a week, but she'll get the idea pretty soon. Hopoefully your in laws will understand that its better for all of you if you have a few nights like this. Good luck!

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My 2 year old daughter is not big on naps right now either... but with it being so cold outside we do not get all her energy out which could be the cause for no naps.

For now I try to get as much energy out of my daughter as possible, very active morning of silly games or going to a big indoor play place. This has seemed to help and she will take a 30 minute or hour nap. Hopefully when warm weather comes and we can play outside all morning she will burn more energy off and take a better (longer) nap.

As for bed time, my daughter has a crib that turned into a toddler bed. I actaully still have the bumper warpped around since we only took the front part of the crib off. She has always been big on being cozy, this may or may not be the same for your toddler.

Our NEW bed time routine is this (we have only done it for 2 days but so far it is working nicely):

After supper we watch 30 mins of Blue's Clues or whatever is on. Then the TV is off and we read for 30 mins. After that my daughter and I lay in mom & dad's bed for 10 mins, we have the lights off, we just lay there with no talking. I do not let her fall asleep in our bed, I then say time to crawl into your bed and she lets me pick her up and lay her in her bed. I tuck her in, kiss her and tell her I love her. I will also tell her who will be there in the morning to take care of her just to help feel secure and in the know of what is coming up.

I hope you find something that helps you and your toddler find a good sleep schedule!

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A.C.

answers from Davenport on

Try keeping her up 30-45 min longer than normal and see if it evens out her sleeping routine.

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B.J.

answers from Rochester on

My son (who is now 4) had the same issue. I know that you can just keep taking them to bed at night and at some point they will get it. What I did is I bought a door handle with a lock on it. I put the locking side facing toward the hall. I took everything out of his room so there was just a matrices (on the floor) and some blankets. When it was bed time I tucked him in and read a story. I told him he needed to go to sleep and I left and locked him in his room. I had a lot of people think this was just horrible that I would this! My son also sleep walks so it was a safety precaution for that reason as well. He cried at first and beet on the walls and told us he hated us. I slept out side his room for a few weeks so that I heard what was all going on. Soon he started to learn and then eventually I stopped locking his door. Unfortunately now he is 4 and has started to sleep walk all over again. I can't lock his door now because he needs to get up and go potty at night! A mother of 9 told me that each stage your child goes thought is not easier or harder, just different :) Good luck. I know it is hard because you do not want to wake everyone up but at some point she has to learn to stay in her room!

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D.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

my two year old is spirited, try the Sleepless in America book by Sheedy-Kurchinka. She will give you signs when she is ready to go in her own bed. But also talk with her to find out what she needs to feel comfortable and safe in her toddler bed. My son doesnt want to give up the security of being in moms bed or having mom sitting next to him when he falls asleep. It is sooo hard sleeping with a flopping two year old!!

Good luck!!

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