2 Year Old Afraid of People He KNOWS

Updated on March 15, 2012
K.C. asks from De Pere, WI
5 answers

My 2 year old (2 in jan) has been afraid of people he knows. he is afraid of my mom which he knows VERY well. he doesnt want anything to do with her for the first couple of hours we are around,. or if i leave then he is fine with going by her. 2nd is my boyfriend...he has been around my son for the last 3-4 months now and my son still hasnt warmed up to him. my daughter (4) LOVES him and is always by him and interacting. if my boyfriend asks him a question darn near starts crying. not sure what to do anymore. is there something more that my son is experencing

EDIT: im just worried that it could be some type of disorder or behavior. he doesnt seem to act like most 2 year olds i know. he is very crabby most of the time. cries and screams A LOT!

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C.E.

answers from Bloomington on

I have to say that this is not odd at all! I have a 2 year old daughter (turned in Oct.), and it freaked me out because her 2 year visit to our doctors office she flipped out and wouldn't let him anywhere near her. He assured me that at around the age 2-3 it was very common for children to get frightened by people and not want anything to do with them until they warm up. By the end of the visit he had her fine with him and smiling and talking. We still have moments where she gets scared of people, mostly people we're very close to. She has days where it takes her a couple hours to be ok with her DAD, and she sees him 24/7 as he's been a stay at home dad since she was born. She gets scared of my grandmother who she sees every weekend, and her dad's best friend who is probably her favorite person outside of family. Your son will grow out of it! Like I said, the doctor says that it's their way of being comfortable. It's an instinct that if they didn't have it, would have them running into the arms of strangers who might hurt them. It seems like the mood may have something to do with who they're afraid of that day, and some days, there's just no one better than mommy!

1 mom found this helpful

K.U.

answers from Washington DC on

ask your pediatrician about "selective mute". My son made it thought 2 years preschool and 5 years elementary without speaking a aingle word to anyone outside of my home. No kidding. he was everyones favorite kid tho and you can read his body language, he was never picked on like I thought, cuz its like everyone knew outside of the house he dont talk. Hes almost 15 now and wont shut up for anything....haha. However he still wont talk to a girl. :) i like that so far.
Selective mute is just an anxiety type of disorder, they pick when they want to talk and to whom. Doesnt mean he doesnt like anyone, its just like a public speaker, and they freeze. no medication is needed cuz its a selective thing.
An actual diagnosis helps the schools tho cater to not taking points off for oral reports and such.
http://www.social-anxiety.com/selective_mutism.html

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My Granddaughter Haylee was like that with some of my nieces. At first, she was fine. Knew them well. Then she started pitching a total fit every time she saw them. I think it was because every time they came over, they took her with them when they left. They liked to take the babies whenever they can - they love kids!

So I think it was that every time she saw them, she assumed they were going to take her away from mommy. Do you often leave your son with your mom? Maybe that's what his deal is with your mom - not really afraid, just not wanting you to leave.

As for the bf, I hate to say it but I would take a cue from the baby. They have pure instincts that should be trusted. The fact that your 4 year old daughter likes him doesn't really persuade me because all little girls like older men - as I've said many time, little girls are in love with their fathers. It's their first love. If she doesn't have a father figure in her life, then bf is filling that role for her.

A.E.

answers from Dallas on

It could just be he is very attached to you and if he is given a choice between you or his grandmother he rather be 100% right next to you. If he has to warm up to your boyfriend thats another deal. Sometimes certain children sense things , so Id try to open my eyes to see if this boyfriend of yours fits in.

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

if you're worried about it then i would talk to a doctor, as we don't know him or the whole story.

but in general i would say that he is shy and he needs people to be patient with him. my son is shy and i was shy and it is painful and the worst thing you could do is get onto him for it or try to force him to talk to them, that will just make it worse. good luck and try to have patience with him :)

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