2 Y/o Son Throws Fits About Potty Time

Updated on April 20, 2008
S.G. asks from Tualatin, OR
9 answers

My son is 2 1/2 and every time he is asked or told to go potty he throws a big fit and says I don't want to. He is basically potty trained, he wears big boys and doesn't have accidents, but he holds it until the last minute and starts to do a potty dance, run around the house and jump up and down until my husband or I tell him to go potty. If Daddy says go potty, he does it like it's nothing.. But if Mommy or the babysitter tells him to he throws a big fit. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to help my Jaydon?

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S.F.

answers from Seattle on

This may sound silly but with my son I made a game out of it. When he needed to go potty I would take fruit loops and put them in the toilet and tell him to hit them. When he did go potty we had a potty sheet that we would put stickers on. This worked for me.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

My almost 3 yr old daugther just went through the same thing. 2 1/2 is still pretty young for potty training, especially for a boy, so I'd back off on it for now and act like "it's no big deal". That's what our doctor suggested, and before too long, our daughter decided to do it on her own. If your son is still using the potty and not having accidents, try trusting him to let you know when he needs to go. I know that with our daughter, the more we pushed the issue and "told" her to go, the less she wanted to.
Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

You have a typical little boy who is asserting his independence. Very few children want to stop what they are doing. Next time calmly tell him to use the bathroom. Try not to raise your voice or get upset. Like all of us, children will want to do the other thing when you demand something of them. It's human nature, even though it's not proper behavior. If he has an accident, have him clean it up himself, or at least whatever he is truly capable of. And even during the accident, don't get upset. The more responsibility you give him in this area, the more your child will realize you are giving him choices and he will feel empowered.

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

We have a 3 1/2 yo son who did the same thing at times in the past, but not always...just on occasion he insisted he did not need to go. One thing which worked on particularly tough days is when I would tell him that the buzzer will go off and when it dings, it's time to go! I acted like it's no big deal, and also told him that it's not ME who wants him to go, but it's absolutely necessary when the dinger goes...for some reason this works. It's like it lets him off the hook from having to obey mom, and he can maintain his independent decision-making.

He obviously hasn't associated it yet with mom being the person setting the timer! But I say whatever works!

No guarantees, but it's worth a try...good luck!

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H.G.

answers from Portland on

Have your husband back you up when he is home. When Jayden has to go potty you tell him and when he throws a fit have your husband tell him "you do what your mother tells you without the fit." Keep doing this kind of training while your husband is home, so you will not have problems in the future. Have daddy drive the point home that he supports you even when he is gone.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

I have been parenting for 20 years. I have two sons and two daughters. My youngest is 5. At 2 1/2 I would have to say that he is too young. Most boys are around 3 to 3 1/2 prior to potty training and it's important for you to wait for him to take the lead. Otherwise it will be you that is trained, and not your young son. I would back off and let his clues tell you when he is ready. Boys just don't make the connection as early as girls do, and even with my daughters, I let them take the lead. It made for just a few days of training, as opposed to months of frustration. This is one thing that is very developmental, and they aren't ready until the connection is made in their brain. If he isn't having accidents, perhaps just taking him by the hand to the bathroom & staying with him will help, but if he's throwing a fit, I would just wait for him to make the connection and do it himself. You don't want his first major hurdle to be a bad experience for him. I can guarantee you that he won't go to Kindergarten in pull-ups!

Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Seattle on

First of all, a boy who is this well potty trained at 2 1/2 is rare indeed. Be glad for that! Children usually make things harder for their primary care givers~ so that is likely why you and the babysitter are getting the fallout. I would perhaps start by talking with your son about all the good things that come with being a big boy and using the potty when he feels the need~ so he can see what's in it for him, and then you need to let it be about him, and take your emotion out of it. Children can be taught young to think "what's going to happen to me if I do this?" He might wet/soil himself a few times before finally choosing to go and not make an issue out of it~ but once it's his choice and not a control issue with you or the sitter, you'll all be a lot happier. Good luck! If all else fails, know that this too shall pass.
peace,
L. P.
p.s. when your husband leaves for the Navy, your son may regress a little~ it is normal for children to do so when under stress. Don't let it get to you. Just reassure him and love him. ~ I'm an Army wife of 16+ years~ been there!

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J.B.

answers from Medford on

Try saying, "Daddy says for you to go to the potty" or "Daddy wants you to go potty now." Eventually he should respond to you without mentioning Daddy.

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K.W.

answers from Terre Haute on

Hi S., I have the same problem with my 8 yr.old. Well, not so much anymore, but when he was first potty trained he did the same as your son. He would wait til the last minute to use the bathroom even having accidents sometimes. He did the potty dance, ran around the house. I would notice him grabbing himself, so I would say Shawn,go to the bathroom. As usual he would say, I don't have to. Sometimes I would take him in there just for him to try, and he always went. He is 8 yrs. old and he'll still wait til the last minute, which is aggravating, but boys would rather play than go to the bathroom. My advice is to be patient,keep telling him to go when you know he has to and soon he will start doing it on his own. Good luck! And congrats on your hubby joining the Navy

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