My 3.3 year old son refuses to poop on the potty. He was late in training (only 3 weeks ago) but from the second he started, he hasn't had one pee accident. He tells us when he has to go and is excited about doing it. #2, however, is a different story. He says he has to go but when we put him on the potty he gets very upset. He will go in his nighttime diaper but often lately, he is constipated b/c he he is holding it in all day or for more than one day. We've really backed off and don't mention it until he does. We've tried singing to him, books, games and even giving him privacy. Nothing works! The only time he pooped was when I gave him a suppository and forced it out because he was so constipated. He eats plenty of fiber, fruits and veggies and almost no dairy and was never constipated before. HELP!!!!
If you add a spoonful of ground flax seed to his cereal I think it would be really hard to hold it in (yet it wouldn't produce loose stools).
Talk to your doctor about the possibility of encopresis. It's a condition where kids hold in their poop deliberately because they're afraid to go. Do a Google search and you should find a lot about it. Our son has had it off and on for years (it's not something that goes away quickly). The only thing that worked with our son was consistency -- put him on the potty at the same time each day -- and a major bribe to get the ball rolling.
Good luck!
I'm not a fan of bribing kids to use the potty. It has to be something that they are ready for both physically and mentally. If they are unable to "perform" from those standpoints, they may feel like they have been a disappointment and these feelings can subtly undermine their confidence and self esteem.
Many kids are afraid of pooping because they are afraid of losing a part of their body. Try to gently assess for this fear in your son. It might help to point out that it is normal for every living creature including animals (your own pets could be an example). Also... make sure he is not experiencing any pain specifically from the constipation and try to explain the logic of "the longer you wait, the more it could hurt" if you feel it is appropriate.
I think your gentle encouragement and not forcing the issue is excellent.
Good luck to all of you!
Yes, some kids are really afraid to go #2 and they will hold it in until they are so backed up that they are constipated.
First, I would let his pediatrician know what is going on in case there is a medical reason why he doesn't want to go. Continue to make sure he is getting enough fiber. If you have to use suppositories, then do so. Sometimes things just take time. Little kids have fears that take time to get over.
Do you have any pets, like a dog or cat? This may sound odd, or even a little gross, but it might work. Take the dog for a walk and when he is getting ready to use the bathroom point it out to your son. Tell him, "see, even doggies have to go poop. It doesn't hurt and it makes him feel better".
Good luck, I hope this is over soon.
For my kids, I went to the dollar tree store and bought "poop presents" Whenever they went poop, they got to reach in the bag and pull out a surprise. It would be even more special if you took him to the store and let him pick out the gifts himself, that way he'd be even more excited because he would know which ones he has to possibly pull out of the bag. I put all of them into a gift bag to make it seem more special
Magnesium is for sure the best cure for constipation.Magnesium is needed for muscle action- including the muscles the motivate the intestine/colon.
It is highly safe- any extra gets peed out. Kidcalm, a drinkable product, can be found online. It is basically magnesium citrate. You can probably find magneisum citrate at your local health food store. I personally use magnesium malate- which is a pill form that the body recognizes as food. It is the only vitamin I take.
The majority of Americans are magnesium deficient because, 1. the soil is deficient now because farmers use potassium fertilizers now instead or composted manure, 2. we don't eat hardly any foods anymore that are rich in magnesium, 3. taking vitamins such as iron or zinc will contribute to a magnesium deficiency .
Taking iron will also contribute to constipation problems, and will grow bacteria.(bacteria must use the hosts iron to survive and replicate). Many people don't realize that iron is a HEAVY METAL and does not leave the body easily, but stores up in tissue, leading to overdose very easily in small children. When I was studying iron, I found reports that 30% of pediatric death is from iron overdose. Some of these were even being dosed under doctors orders.
It seems like most doctors are telling moms to put children on vitamins or iron supps..without telling them that it constipates, builds up in tissue, feeds bacteria. No One should be put on iron without a test being done showing a clear deficiecy.
So if you are supping iron that could be contributing to the constipation problem.
This is very typical and basically resolves with time. Our oldest did the same thing until he was over 4. We let him have his diaper for awhile, and then we started a sticker chart where he was able to "earn" money towards a toy he wanted. He got positive reinforcement when he went #2, but we never punished him for not going. Just give it some time--he'll do it when he's ready.
J.
Hi - My son does the same thing and we are working on it, so I don;t have any solutions for you. But it helps to keep his bm's soft with mild laxatives made for small children if he ever decides to hold it for more than a day. Our pediatrician has ok's this to keep him from getting constipated.
