My son will be 4 next month. He is in Pre-K 5 days a week for half days. He recently told me that he missed me at school because he had to poop but didn't want to go at school because I wasn't there to wipe him. I know that the teachers are awesome and have helped him in the past but if he doesn't go they can't help. We've have had problems with him holding it and becoming consitapated so I was thinking maybe it's time he learns how to do it himself...
My question is what is a good age to teach him to wipe himself and how do I go about doing it? I know that the amount of tp is going to be a fun thing to teach but I am willing to give it a shot.
Thanks Moms!
I am going to start working on this today!! Thanks for all the info. I was more worried about him doing it himself because he has put toilet paper wads down our toilet w/out going potty LOL. I will just have to keep an eye on him every time. 8-)
You have been fortunate. Most teachers of 4 year olds will not wipe the children. They need to be able to do it themselves. This is because of all the potential cases against teachers for molestation. I am a preschool teacher and for children who should be able to wipe themselves, we have another teacher watch or we call home for the parent to come in.
He is old enough to be wiping his own little fanny!
My boy is now 6 and just started wiping on his own. I just made sure he went before school which was never a problem for him. I wouldn't say much to him when I wiped. I would just show him how I was doing it and how much paper I used. Then little by little I would say "I'm busy right now. Can you do it yourself and I'll check you in a minute?". Then all of a sudden, one day he was done with my help and told me he was now going to "wipe like a man!"
L.
You just brought back one big memory I had with my son (I don't know why this is so hard for boys). When he was in Kindercare, they called me one day because he was saying his stomach hurt. Well, it was because he had to use the bathroom and wouldn't go at the school. To this day, (he's 12 now) he won't use the bathroom anywhere but home. I did wipe him until he was 8 years old! Start making your son do it now. Good luck!
My son will be 4 next month and in the last couple of weeks is wiping completely on his own with no issues! I just taught him how and pushed it a little (you do it first and then I'll check to make sure you're good). And before I knew it, he wasn't even calling me in to help anymore.
Our son is 4 too and does wipe himself, well for the most part... He just kind of started doing it on his own. I would always count out the three or four squares (depending on how thick the t.p. was), and encourage him to count them out as well. Now, when he wipes himself, I see him counting out the number of squares and he does pretty well. I was horrible with over use of the t.p. when I was a kid, and didn't want our son to be like that. Giving him some guidelines and reviewing/teaching him the guidelines each time he had to go seemed to work. Hope this helps.
Most of the time my DD will wipe herself and she does a really good job. She'll be 3 on Tuesday. I think just showing them how much TP and the right way to wipe and then giving them the confidence that they can do it.
When my kids were young I purchased those flushable kids wet wipes and had them on the toilet in every bathroom. I thought (and still think) that they would help keep them cleaner as they learned to wipe themselves.
Hey K.,
My daughter is 4 and she has been cleaning herself for almost a year now. It took some practice to get it right but she learned. She usually only needs help if it's messy or diarrhea.
I think that your son should be able to learn now. One thing I think was a really big help was those flushable wipes. I know he won't have them at school but they are GREAT to help learn with.
Also, the tp amount can be a great counting activity as well! I would always have my daughter count the squares out loud until she reached the amount I would tell her...usually 3 for #1 and 6 or so for #2.
Good luck!
Hi K., you should be teaching him to wipe himself now when he is at home. It might make it easier for him if you get him some "Kando" wipes and put them in his backpack, and talk to his teachers about his anxiety about the issue and tell them you are sending Kando wipes in his bag so that he can wipe himself. It might help him to gain the independence he needs.
On the other hand, have him start wiping himself at home with you there. If he doesn't want to, then ask him why. Is he afraid that he won't do a good enough job. Does his but hurt if he doesn't do good enough? Where is the anxiety coming from? Unless he is having irritation from not wiping good enough, why is he having someone else do it for him (I know that it isn't sanitary, but he will get better, just tell him to wipe until the tp is clean). Let him know that it is okay if he has racing stripes (I wouldn't call them that, he might think that it's cool) and you know that he will get better at doing him himself, and tell him how proud you are that he did it all by himself. If he doesn't do it good enough at home while you are with him, don't clean up after him. Don't be tempted to say "good job buddy, now let mommy make sure you got it all". Just let it go, and buy some bleach and more underpants. If he says something about his stripes, so something like "oh, well did you remember to wipe yourself until the tp was clean?" '
Good luck. I still think it needs to start with asking him why is doesn't want to wipe himself. or at least by saying "hey lets learn to wipe your own butt todya".
Hi K.,
It is definitely time to teach him to do it on his own. Teach him to wipe until there is nothing on the TP. You don't want him to be too dependent on you. My Mom wanted to do everything for me and my brother. He was in kindergarten and couldn't wipe himself,because our Mom still did it. I know it might be hard to give up your son's dependence on you,but it will help him in the long run.
Good luck
C.
