2-Year-old Son Says He's Afraid of "The Man"

Just off hand, without really knowing your son, I would say it is just a phase. About 2 years old children become a lot more aware of their surroundings. My daughter was so scared of the eagles in her room. My mom just opened the front door and chased them out. The problem was solved. Later, I figured out that she had seen a picture of the American Eagle and it had piercing eyes. Maybe your son has seen a scary picture and it gives him nightmares. You might make shadow characters with him or play some fun games in the dark. Children usually have a really good memory so even if it happened a few months ago it may be something that he recalls. (It also may be a ploy to get in your bed) Kids are very smart! The only stupid question is the one that you don't ask! Never be afraid to ask. Motherhood is quite an experience, but I love it everyday.

J.,

Is there any possibility that there is some real concern?
Are you clear what your son is saying when he talks about "the man"? In this time and age I wouldn't take what your son is saying too lightly. Let him talk to you about what it is he is afraid of. I know that children at his age have a challenging time separating reality and fantansy, yet I can't help but worry that perhaps there is more to your son's fears then seeing shadows.

With my whole heart, C.

Since your son is adopted, let me throw something out there as another adoptive parent: Is it possible that something is going on at night that is a memory trigger for him? If something traumatic happened even when he was an infant, he may have some unconscious memory that is triggering. Have you asked him to describe the man or if he knows who it might be?

If he hasn't had any sort of traumatic event occur, then I'd say it's the usual fear of "monsters" (or shadows) type thing. You might ask if the man is in his room and can he show you (lights on) where the man was standing so that you can address any shadow issues.

Yeah it is normal for them to be afraid at this age. I would ask more questions about what man he is talking about. To get a better idea of what you are dealing with. My daughter at this age was having nightmares of butterflies and it was triggered from a Spongebob episode. So it took a very long time of us reassuring her and doing what we could for this fear to go away. We ended up sleeping on her floor many times to help calm her. What ever it takes for them to feel secure. My son would throw tantrums at this age at bedtime and seemed afraid of being alone in the dark. So we left his door wide open with some lower lights, like lamps, turned on. This really went a long way to calm his fears. Eventually they grow out of it. I think the key is to be sensitive to it and realize that they feel very legitimate, real fear.

My 2 year old is afraid of dinosaurs, robots, volcanoes and rock monsters. He is constantly talking about them. Sometimes he thinks they're cool other times, scary. I think it's the age.

When my son was around 2 was in his room talking away. One night I went in there and asked him who he was talking to and he pointed in the corner of the room and said "the man". Was kind of weird, but for a few weeks he just talked away and he eventually stopped. It might just be a phase they go thru.

I would ask him questions about the man, what he looks like, where he sees him. Find out if it is an imaginary person and if so what it represents, or if it is something real. My dd came in screaming about being awakened by "her" the other night we sat her down snuggled talked to her about her fears and got her to tell us how she felt, anyway it came out that the cat had jumped up on the bed and it had woken her up in a start and scared her.
She's also had nightmares...her daddy is gone a lot so it brings up many fears for her.
with their limited understanding they can answer questions and you can help them find peace and safety.
it would also help if there really is a person in his life that he is afraid of that he can know it's okay to talk to you about it and that you will protect your son always.

Well what we did many times with kids in our home is to take a simple spray bottle feel it with water and food color, then tell your child it is special spray, and when they got scared we would mist it and tell them it scared all the bad things away.

my son started getting scared of things around his second birthday as well. Stuff that I wouldn't expect to be scary scares him--sometimes books, music, pictures. I think it is something that kids go through. My son also has bad dreams at night and cries for us. Hopefully, your son will grow out of this stage soon.

I believe it is just something some kids go through, because my son who is 2 1/2 years old says he is afraid of "the bad people." When I ask him what the bad people look like, he describes a monster. I know that it is normal for children to be afraid of monsters. Now he tells me he is afraid of black monsters and that blue monsters are nice. It sounds silly, but his mind is made up that the monsters are coming to his room. So, we found him some sweet smelling lysol and spray his door handles so it makes a smell at the same time cleans his door handle. We tell him its the bad people spray and that no bad people will come in his room if we spray that no bad people spray. You could try that or I think they sale, monster away spray in various stores or even online. Its good to also keep an eye out of everyone you know to find out if something bad is happing to your little guy. But, it may just be the harmless fears that toddlers and preschoolers have. Good luck.

Did you ask him about "the man". Like this, "Honey, who is the man? Have you seen the man? Was he on tv? Was he in our house? Did you see him at Target? What can you tell me about the man?"

If he barely talks, show him pictures of house, yard, store, daycare??, a picture of the place he lived prior to adoption?!! Ask him where he saw the man and have him point to the correct picture. Perhaps "the man" was a scary pre-adoption person, but he's just now able to verbalize it? If he definitely says that he saw the man someplace familir, show him pictures of every possible man and ask him to point to the man -- grandpa, neighbor, babysitter, best friend's husband, teen cousin, etc. You might discover something.

p.s. Was there a workman in your house? Perhaps his mere presence slightly scared the boy.

I have a very unique answer. My two year old actually started saying this in the daytime, and whats worse, in places like the kitchen or chair. He would say mama, monster, and stay staring at it. I did some research and turns out that i am not the only one. I came across a few articles in which stated that children around this age, have the ability to see things that we as adults cannot see. Spirits have the tendency to float around the earth, as one article described, and sometimes wonder through houses, but leave quickly. Its if they experience this for a very long period of time, that then the person should worry, because it could then become a trapped spirit within the home that starts to disrupt your little ones life. i dont know if you are religeous, but after reading this, i did some prayers, and my son has not seen any "monsters" since.