2 Birthday Gifts or 1 - Chesterfield,VA

I think its wonderful that you have been able to send two gifts. My take on it is if you can, great. If not, no one is judging you because of it.

M

Personally, I do not feel that 2 gifts are necessary. What if you had 6 kids? Would you take 6 gifts? To compensate for the fact that you have 2 kids who were invited to the party, I would just buy something that cost a little more than what I might buy if I had only one child.

As a parent, if I invite a family with several kids to my son's birthday party, I CERTAINLY DO NOT expect them to bring more than one gift. As I see it, I don't expect ANY gifts, but I realize that people coming to a birthday party usually do bring gifts.

Mom,I would send one gift but maybe a little nicer gift since 2 children are giving the gift. I agree when times are tough the extra expense of a 2nd gift can be a lot. I don't think it is common that people are bringing more than one gift, you have been quite generous in the past.

one gift from each 'family'... and put both your kids names on the gift tag per who it is from.
Or put your whole family... ie: From the Smith family
My friends, do that too.

There is NO obligation, nor should there be any expectation... that a child gets a gift from EACH child. What if a family has 3 or more kids?? That is a lot of money and gifts.
Every person's budget, should be respected. It is not about how 'many' gifts are given, nor about keeping up with everyone else.

There is NO need, to send multiple gifts.
I don't.

all the best,
Susan

I have 5 girls between mine and my boyfriends and 3 of which are very close in age. They get invited to alot of parties together and they are at an age where you can no longer get just a 10 gift, and at the age where alot are having parties. There is no way I could purchase a gift from all 3 of them due to financial reasons. I do however try to spend a litle more then I would if it is just one kid. Times are tough right now and I think if parents had to do that you would have a lot less kids at the party because they can not afford to do that.

it's not tit-for-tat. parties are supposed to be fun celebrations, not an accounting journal of how much was spent on party favors vs gifts, or how much time the birthday kid gets to spend unwrapping relative to the amount of guests. i would never stand in judgement, counting heads 'taking a spot' at a party, nor would i care to attend a party where the hostess was doing so.
khairete
S.

I am sure there are others that feel the same way as you. I try not to compare. The birthday parties aren't about presents. I have a $20 rule for my 10 years old. We don't spend more than $20 no birthday presents. If I were sending two children to the same party and they wanted to get the friend a $30-40 gift, it would have to be from both of them.

However, there have been times when we have known a child would like a particular game or book and it is $15 so that is all we spend.

For my son who is five I try to get things that are meant to have an end life -- crayons and paper; coloring books; bubbles; or something we know they child already has some of -- match box cars; legos; stuff like that. I try not to add to people's clutter. :-)

We have had people come to our parties and not bring or send a gift at all. I stress with my children that, it doesn't matter. The person took the time to come and time is a precious gift. I tell my children when we plan the party and goodie bags, that these are gifts they give to their friends, it is not a trade -- there is no tit-for-tat. If you are only giving it, to get something back in return, then be clear or don't give it -- you'll end up disappointed otherwise.

Not to sound to mean -- but my advice -- don't worry about everyone else; just have fun. It's a party!!

I always take a gift for each child.

I generally invite families to my kids parties - families we are friends with and then school friends for my older son. We have never gotten more than 1 gift from a family even if they have multiple children. I have never given more than 1 gift when our family attends an event either. I really don't think it's expected! A gift is just a token - not the point of the party. The party is about attendance - spending time with the people who care.

When I go to and invite multiple kids, I don't send or expect multiple gifts. It is actually very considerate of you. I do tend to spend more though, if both are going and sign the card from both of them.

I think you are overdoing it. Like the others have said, I have a price limit for gifts, and may go over the limit if the gift is coming from two kids attending a party instead of one, but only a little and it's still going to be one gift from the pair. My kids have to cooperate on the selection so it's a growth experience for them ;-). If they're going to a joint party for siblings, we get one gift for the birthday kids to share, too, not one each.

"Taking a spot" sound so negative. When it's a party factory place the parents usually paid a fixed amount anyway. Goodie bags are the other parents' deal, and I feel no compunction to reimburse that expense and we'd just as soon not get them because they go right into the trash. Given what I've observed at parties, people go overboard on the amount they spend on casual acquaintances (e.g., classmates), so doubling the amount is silly, to me.

I have three children, 12 months apart each, so am in the same situaiton a lot. I buy one gift from all three kids, but the value of the gift is higher then a single gift. Depending on whose party it is, I spend aprox. $10 per child. I give one card, signed with all three names. Hope this helps!

I need to invite you to my party!! That's nice that you do that, but I would only do1 gift from the both of them. That's only my opinion....

I have twins so we ALWAYS have two kids going to a party! Within a budget, I usually let the boys pick a gift from each individually for the birthday child. But, if they want something more expensive (still within the overall budget) it would be from both of them.

I read some of the replies and some people are simply rude. You never said you were counting presents! I keep track of who gives what because my boys write thank you cards for each present. If there are 2 children from 1 family and they each bring their own gift, they each get their own thank you card as well. So even without meaning to, I do track who gives what and if a family with multiple kids gives more than one present or a single one, etc. I too have noticed that sometimes a family will arrive with one present instead of two, and I would never say anything or judge that person, but you can't help but notice when you track for thank you card purposes.

Anyway, do what you feel comforitable with. I have many friends with multiples as well and most of them do as I do, 2 invitees, 2 presents, or 1 larger from both. It seems to work.

Don't stress!! Enjoy the cake!!!

I think it is nice that you do that, but personally I would only send one gift. Although I would not send my kids to a birthday party without a gift I am assuming they are invited to share in the celebration not to simply add to the gift pile. Not to mention, on our budget if I can only afford one gift should I only allow one of my kids to attend? When I plan a party for my kids I do so with the idea that I am spending money for the guests to come and celebrate with us. I plan within my budget and I do not expect any sort of compensation. Most guests bring gifts, but we don't harbor any bad feelings against the ones that don't.

One gift from both kids/family is what we do and what anyone with multiple kids attending my children's party have done. I have sometimes wrapped a small gift from my daughter to my nephew (they are a month apart) in addition to whatever we as a family have gotten him. So I would say there are always exceptions.

I have never received multiple gifts from families with 2+ children and would never expect that. I think you are incredibly generous for doing so, but I don't think it's necessary. I would only give one gift, but might spend a little more on it since it's coming from two people.

i address the gifts from both children, actually i address all gifts, even ones from me and my husband to grown friends of ours, from my kids , but i usually get very nice gifts.

My girls are 19 months apart and attend the same parties. Each girl brings a gift. They love to pick it out, wrap it themselves and they each make their own card for the gift. They are 6 and 4 yrs old.

Birthday parties are not about gifts. They are about having fun, celebrating getting bigger, and getting friends together. Yes, gifts are nice, but I have never heard of getting more than one gift from a family no matter how many kids come to the party.

Generally - I vote - please come, don't bring a gift.

Just my opinion :)

After reading some of the responses you have received, I am considering not letting my daughter go to birthday parties, when she has a mind to...she is only 20 months. If I have another child (a happy accident), we would go into complete financial ruin if our children are blessed to be popular. My opinion is that you get what you can afford and if they don't like it, I am sorry. I would rather have my child pitied for not being allowed to parties rather than judged because her family couldn't afford a good enough gift. Just my personal opinion though and not meant to hurt anyone's feelings.

that's really nice that you do that, but you can't expect the same from others, nor judge them for it.

I usually have a set amount that I spend on class friend gifts/daycare gifts, etc. If the party is for a family member, then I send 2 gifts. If the party is for a class/daycare friend, then I either send 2 gifts, or spend a little bit more on one gift.

We have a very good friend that has twins.. I remember she told me she gave her girls a choice. Do you want to give a gift together or do you want to each pick out a gift for Suzies' Birthday?

She had a budget so she would give them the budget based on their choice..

My kids are just shy of 14 mos apart and if I do both... but my budget always stays the same. So - if each kids wants to give their own I 1/2 my budget for each gift (so 2 gifts at $5 total $10 budget) or if they want to give 1 gift than its still $10 total for the gift. My kids are 3 and 4 so they both love making their own cards. But, like I said, in the end I still only spend $10 on a gift.

If my girls (2 years apart) go to the same party I usually just spend twice my normal budget on one bigger gift from both of them. After reading some of your responses I think I might be looking at your question a little differently than most. If it's "family" party - like a BBQ or whatever, then one gift from the whole family seems totally appropriate. But, if you're talking about going to a place like Chuck e. Cheese where kids are dropped off and the hostess is spending about $13 per kid for them to be there then I truly believe a gift from each kid is appropriate. I think that's what you meant when you said "taking a spot at the party." We always did neighborhood/family parties for my girls when they were little, and most families brought one little gift - which was great (I did the "no gifts" on the invite, but got stuff anyway) But as kids get older parents drop them at most parties. Parties at outside venue cost a lot. I know, I know - it's totally NOT all about the cost. I get that moms! I'm just saying for me, I'd send two gifts with my two kids.

I'm with you on this O.. If both kids are invited, a gift from each is appropriate. Party facilities charge PER KID, not PER FAMILY!

I think either 1 or 2 gifts is appropriate, your choice. Personally, I would shop with my kids, and if they wanted to each bring a gift, it would be a smaller one. If they both really wanted to get the friend a little more expensive gift, it would have to be one gift from both of them. I can't imagine any parents I know being offended by siblings bringing a joint gift.

I think two gifts is appropriate. As you get older, they will want to pick out different things anyway. Maybe ease the financial burden a little bit by bying coordinating presents and let them each give one part.

honestly, if they were 1 or under, I would send one gift sinc eit is clearly from you. But as they are getting older, 2 make sense. Or one gift tha tis clearly a little extra special.

But frankly, I hope all the birthday families are appreciative no matter what.

I only have one child, so I don't have this issue. I would send a gift from each child. Although, one gift is fine. When I invite my daughter's friends to her birthday parties, I tell people not to bring a gift. Although, nobody ever listens and brings one anyway.

I agree with you. I think each child should give a gift or one larger, more expensive gift if you want to give just one gift. I think that's just polite.

I would think its a personal preference. I am not offended when my son gets 1 present from families with multiple siblings. In fact, he's never gotten more than one gift with families of multiple children. I would think chances are that if both kids are being invited a lot of it has to do with how much of friends the 2 families are...at least that is in our case and then the gift is from the family anyway. I like the idea of spending a little more on one gift than getting 2.

My kids a 3 years apart but often get invited to parties together. I either send a gift with each one or invest a little more money in a gift. Our "friend" gift budget is between $15-20. So we have spent $40 on a single gift for a child at a party where both my boys were invited. So you are not the only one.

i just spend the money on one gift. like say i would normally only spend $10 on a birthday gift for a certain child well i would then spend $20. i've also done it for a birthday that had two kids that we we were celebrating. i got a big gift they could share like say a slip n slide....obviously they only need one and its something they could share. it broadens the things you can buy and we all know them $10 items are usually junk anyway.

I have 6 kids. Five old enough for birthday parties. People usually invite our whole family. I try to find out from mom what the child would like and then I get something along those lines and some smaller gifts to go with it.
I put it all together though.
For example at the last party we went to the little girl was getting a Leap Frog Tag system. I purchased two of the books to go with it, a small stuffed animal and some stickers.

i like to think of us as a family unit when my daughter and i go to a friend's we bring one bottle of wine or one loaf of bread not two (if i remember ; ) ). we bring one family gift to gatherings.