Hi All,
I am watching a friend's 29 month old daughter for a couple of days. Actually, I don't really even know the little girl and I'm not sure what is normal for her or not. I'm concerned because I've noticed that her daughter rocks from side to side when she's upset or not being stimulated. I'm not sure if this is normal behavior for children or not. Neither of my children has done this before. I know that you are not supposed to compare your child to another, but I'm concerned that I may not be meeting her needs if I don't understand what level she is at. Verbally, I feel that she's at the same level as my 20 month old. I know her parents baby her, so I'm not sure if that's what causes it (she still uses a pacifier and drinks from a bottle) or not. I'm having a hard time controlling her and wondering if I should be approaching her in a different light. I'm not sure how long I'll have her, so any help would be appreciated.
Thanks everyone. So, I was finally able to get in touch with her mom (she's out of state visiting her dying father) and she said that this is normal behavior for her daughter. We were able to discuss ways that she calms her down. Apparently, her behavior here is normal except for her sleeping problems, but that I know how to deal with. Thanks everyone.
K.,
This could be ‘normal’ for this little girl, and just how she handles being upset or bored. I wouldn’t think that it would be a cause for concern. Every child is different. :D
Hi K.,
Check with your local child development center and inquire for further information. Just to be on the safe side.
Hope this helps. Good luck. Thanks for caring. D.
I would speak to her mom and express your concern of not meeting her needs.Also, ask her mom what is the child's normal activity.I'm sure her mom will fill you in on what she does with her child. You do have a right to be concerned since it can be either normal or a sign of something else such as Autism. Be careful,my brother-in- law used to rock his head side to side and unfortunately got labeled as (I hate this word)retarded.He is not.Remember that every child needs love and attention and usually responds in their own way.
Thanks for caring and sharing-let us know the results.
1st, stop comparing your child to other peoples kids! People do not develope at the same rate. The child is probably soothing herself. Is she meeting all other deveopmenal milestones? Don't ask, TALK to her mom. She sounds fine from what you describe, some people are just quirky and you don't want to offend your friend especially if the child is fine. It may eb this child is off and mom knows it so be carefull when talking to her.
My child has Autism when she was very young we knew soemthingw as wrong but other peoples comments could be offensive. Just wnat to re clarify from what you wrote I do not think this child has anything wrong with her.
Right now I think you just want to comfort the little girl and help her and her mother through this tough time. When things have settled down,though, you might have a chance to talk with the mom about whether the girl has been meeting her developmental milestones and whether she might benefit from a consultation with an Early Intervention team. Early Intervention (speech and occupational therapies) did a lot to help get my son back on track when he wasn't meeting his milestones. It may seem that the parents have been babying the little girl you've been watching, but she might also still have that much more baby in her pulling them all back and need someone to jumpstart her development.
I can't be sure, but this sounds like the child has been traumatized. It is nothing you have done, I am sure. It sounds like you are really concerned and doing the best you can for her while she is there.
I don't see anything wrong with comparing with your children. We are mothers...what else do we have to go on?? I have four kids and i have never seen them rock, so my opinion is it is not normal. A little odd to me...
Hi K.,
I believe that rocking is a self stimulating/soothing activity that some children exhibit. I've been a "rocker" all of my life. No labels necessary, just a little extra love. Good luck, L
Hi K.,
How nice of you to watch this little girl "that you don't know very well" for a few days! That struck me as odd.....but anyway, if the mother didn't brief you on any special soothing, other special needs for this kid, I would just treat her as you do your own children. I guess what I mean is, if you find out tomorrow that she is autistic...it need not change the way you care for her today. Know what I mean?
Are you having a hard time controlling the rocking? Or is she very dispuptive and defiant? I'm not sure what you mean in your post.....
All that's missing here may be a "label" and I'm not a huge fan of labels anyway--for just that reason: people treat people differently once they're aware of their label! Good luck!
Does she tune out the world when she "rocks"? given her verbal in-abilities, why not try sign language for tots? I have a friend who babysat a 3 yr old who was diagnosed as having learning disabilities. He would get EXTREMELY frustrated, and hit and have tantrums, but when she borrowed the book from a friend, and began to talk to him and use the signs for things, like cookies, drinks, stuff like that, he began to catch the signs, use them and when he could communicate his wants and needs, he calmed down a whole lot.
I would also ask them if she always rocks back and forth, or if this is a reaction to being away from home. Usually kids at that age are able to play by themselves and be engaged in playing. I think you're wise to be a little suspicious.
But it's tough to talk to the parents about that, cuz as parents we are all rather defensive if we think people are criticizing our kids, or criticizing us as parents. It's such a tough job.
Good luck ! I hope you get tons of fantastic advice on this !
barb
given the mom's situation, the above advice is probably way-off base -- but one thing I wanted to add after your 2nd post. Make a point to talk about her mom, and to let her know that Mom is coming back to her. She is young, and it's really tough to have mom gone for a few days -- especially if this has never happened before, and she's also in a new environment.
