2 1/2 y.o. Will Not Stay in His Bed to Fall Asleep at Night--please Help!

My daughter is the same age and we have been having the same trouble.
I did put a gate on her door since our bedrooms are on the 2nd floor (Long story, but due to way staircase built, we couldn't get the gate on top of stair.) Anyway, I remembered one of the "Super Nanny" episodes that I watched so diligently when I was pregnant. (LO) Her advice was to put the child to bed as normal and let them know your expection to stay in bed. The first time they get up, bring the child back to bed and say it's bed time. Any time after that, go into the room and put the child back to bed. However, say NOTHING. I swear it is working for me. I am astonished. I just point to her bed, climb over the gate, tuck her in and leave. The whole time she tries to get me to talk to her. In her mind, my talking to her is the reward. If the child is not getting the reward, then she has no reason to continue. I am still having to go into her room about two times, after the initial bedtime. Considering the recent past, that's nothing. We only switched to this silent thing about two weeks ago.
In our case ,I think the delay of a complete solution is due to inconsistancy. When I'm not home, my husband has a hard time staying quiet. He's a big sucker. :)
However, he does see that that when he puts my daughter to bed it's a very long ordeal. When I'm home & put her to bed, no problems. I think he'll catch on soon.
I do think you have a good idea to continue to reward the next day, when you have a good bed time. I think I'm going to try that. Maybe her favorite special breakfast the next morning with lots of compliments on her prior nights bed time behavior.
Good luck!!!

My 2 yr 4 month old went over a gate I put up at his door... it took him maybe 2 seconds to get over it in the middle of the night.

He had a similar experience lately. For two whole weeks, he would wake in the midde of the night and want to climb in bed with us. So I know what you're saying. Don't want anything like this to become a habit.

I have also heard the Nanny thing - put them back in bed and say NOTHING to them. It worked for me when my son first had his toddler bed. But with my son's waking lately, I've tried all the bribes I could to get him to sleep. I have been a grumpy mess! First of all, we prayed for God to help him have sweet dreams (we think his middle-of-the-night waking was due to bad dreams). Then we'd ask God to help him sleep so that he could get a treat in the morning. I tried his favorite fruit snacks. Then the 1st night he slept all night, I had promised him popcorn or ice cream. So the next morning we ate breakfast, then went out for popcorn. Today, he woke up and said he wanted ice cream.

I will wean him off of these rewards as I know they're not good habit, but for now I need some sleep!! For my son, tomorrow an orange could be a treat and grapes the next day, so eventually we'll just get back into the groove of things.

Good luck. Sorry I rambled about myself a lot. Just thought you should know what worked for us.

If you don't really mind your current routine, I would say don't mess with it. He's already made a couple of big transitions between 2 and 2 1/2, which is kind of a tough age for that. Maybe he is dealing with fears he can't articulate verbally, and he feels scared to fall asleep in his own room. Whatever it is, making it a bigger power struggle will probably make things worse. If you can get back to a bedtime routine that isn't a struggle (even if it's in your room and not his), I would go with that.

You should feel lucky he sleeps well through the night after you carry him back to his room!

I want to add that I strongly disagree with the advice to let him scream, or refuse to talk to him on the grounds that doing so would be a "reward." Remember that not all 2 1/2 year olds are highly verbal. If you were upset/scared and needed help, would you want your husband to refuse to "reward" you by acknowledging your feelings? No, you would consider that heartless and unacceptable.

Berry Brazelton's book Touchpoints 0-3 might have some ideas for you.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

hope this helps!

I read somewhere, that if this occurs for a long time, just carry them back to bed once they fall asleep, or put a little cot at the end of your bed and make them sleep there if they want to be in your room. then, gradually phase the cot out.

Check out these tips at Care4hire.com on keeping your kids in their bed...http://tinyurl.com/2fkvvs3

Why did you transition him from the crib? He probably isn't ready to be in a big boy bed yet. He may feel overwhelmed with all that freedom and needs the crib to feel secure. I've always understood that you should leave kids in their cribs as long as possible. Go back to the crib. He'll feel better and you'll feel better. And read healthy sleep habits, happy child. He talks a lot about the effects of taking a kid from their crib to early.

either put the gate up or close the door, and let him scream. we had the same problem with our 2 1/2 year old not too long ago. we tried a lot of things. finally one night, i just read her a story, turned on her radio (she listens to classical music at night), said goodnight and walked out. she screamed for awhile, but eventually fell asleep. i hated letting her cry like that, but being 20 weeks pregnant, i can't sit in there forever until she falls asleep. it only took about a week of that, and now i don't even have to read her a story - i can just turn on the music, say goodnight and leave. she sits there and looks through some story books and eventually sleeps on her own, without any kind of fussing.