2 1/2 Year Old Seperation Anxiety

just a note as someone who worked in a church nursery for 13 years..... There is always those who do not want to leave their moms. They are scared. I had one that never got better. I think they quit coming because of it. He had 2 brothers in there that were fine. I had another girl that stopped after about 6 weeks. With her, they took her with her to church one day to show her where they were and that seemed to help her understand. I don't know if thats an option for you or not. I do know that crying the whole time does interupt the time the other children have and it does affect them. I really do not have a solution for you. I had a helper so she would take the criers outside or for a walk. Good luck.

I am the mom of three grown children - my advice is to never leave a child in a situation where she/he is crying for so long - they are telling you with their crying that they are not feeling good - please listen to the cries and take her to church until she is a bit more secure in the environment. You will try again in a few months.

HI N.,
Is she very verbal? Can you ask her about why she doesn't like the childcare at the church? It could be that she's really bonded to you and is having trouble adjusting because it's only a short period of time. Is the hour so that you can attend church or is it to adjust her to a new daycare? Do the workers change each week?

It sounds like she is wanting them to do what makes her feel most secure (push her in the stroller) maybe you could encourage the workers to engage her in some activity that you know she enjoys.

I would try to help her adjust for a little longer (if it's really important that she goes there) and see if she gets more used to it. It may be that their childcare technique is too far from your own and that is a problem for her. I had that situation in a daycare I had my daughter in and she never adjusted, but she was quite a bit younger than your little one...

good luck!

Take her to church with you.

Keep bringing her! She really will get used to it. :) I know, it's torture while they cry. I've been in that exact same position, but she will get used to it.

My son did exactly the same thing at that age. What ended up working for us was leaving him for ten minutes the first week, fifteen minutes the second week, etc. until he was staying the whole hour. He would cry from the time we told him it was Sunday until we picked him up from Sunday School, but it got a little better each week. We also promised him that we would bring a donut when we picked him up and that helped give him something to look forward to. When we went to pick him up we always made a big deal about how proud we were of him. He's three now and for the last few months he has been fabulous about going to church. He loves his class and is always excited to tell us all about what he learned. Good luck!

our son did the same thing at 18 months. we switched churches - because of the service not the nursery- and it has improved alot. he still cries but wants the nursery lady to hold him for about ten mins or less and then he is fine and plays. he seemed not to like going to the first church at all. he also goes to daycare and we try to expose him to lots of different people so he wont be scared or have seperation anxiety. can i also rudely recomend you get some thearapy for your anxiety not just meds but really nip that in the bud. you should be enjoying life and its not fun to have anxiety...belive me i know. . . and got over it! :D

I work in the nursery at my church. At her age, she should be in an area with other toddlers her age. Usually, at that age, they are having activities that help them interact and take their minds off Mommy & Daddy. If she is in the "nursery" with the babies, she is regressing to an earlier time when she received more one-on-one-attention. Also, she is probably feeling your anxiety about leaving her. In the morning while you are getting her ready, talk to her about all the new friends she is going to meet at church. Encourage her to have fun. Just take her in, hand her over and LEAVE. Don't hover or act like you are willing to stay with her. And don't go back to check on her until the hour is over. If she gets a glimpse of you, she will go thru the separation anxiety all over again. At home, encourage her to play independently. It would also be good to join a playgroup that meets at least once a week at a park or playground to give her the opportunity to interact with other children her own age. When she sees that the other children don't cling to their parents, she should want to become independent, too. Most kids are fine after 10 minutes. Just relax and appreciate the adult time in church. It will be good for both of you.