I've never seen this issue addressed and I really need some help. I'm at my wits end. My 2 1/2 year old son will fight sleep at all times. At naptime, he will get out of bed and read books for hours if we let him. Sometimes he falls asleep eventually but sometimes he just won't sleep. At bedtime, he'll do the same thing. We've tried a sticker chart to get him to stay in bed, we've tried to let him read a couple books on his own before bed, I've tried putting him back in bed every time he gets out, but it doesn't seem to work. He doesn't come out of his room, and he is very quiet and calm. Some people have told me to just let him do his own thing as long as he stays in his room, but I'm worried about the amount of sleep he's getting. HELP?!?!
Thanks to everyone that wrote back. We've instituted "quiet time" in place of a traditional nap, and it's working really well. Some days he falls asleep and some he doesn't, but we're both getting some much needed down time. It's also made bed time a little easier. So thank you again for all the support!
Hi, he is getting "quiet" time and may not require a nap any more. I am assuming he is sleeping at night. there will be so many battles worth fighting but this isn't one of them. Let him do his thing.
Denise K.
Unscrew his lightbulb so he cant turn on his light at bedtime. Allow him only two books in his room, so that way he'll get bored faster at nap time.
Perhaps he's ready to give up afternoon naps. By making him sleep then, by bedtime he's not sleepy so fights it again then. Try just nighttime sleep and cut out the naps. My twins stopped naps just after age 2 so he may be wanting to do the same. Try 7pm bed with no naps for a few days - worked for my 2 with 12 hours nighttime sleep and they got into it quickly as they were tired from no day naps. Good luck.
How much sleep is he getting? How is his behavior during the day? I would guess he is ready to give up his nap (even though you may not be!). I fought with my oldest for a long time before I realized just over two years old that it wasn't worth the fight. He gave his up at 2, my second at 2 1/2, and my third at 3. I think the third one gave his nap up later only because of all the activities going on with his older siblings that he didn't get as much sleep at night. Although it is so hard for SAHMs to give up naps, if they are spending so much time fighting it, you will find that it is better to just jump in and give them up. He will sleep more at night without a nap.
Been there, done that! One thing is for certain, he will sleep when he needs to. All of our bodies are programmed a little differently and each of us require different amounts of sleep. As long as you are providing him the opportunity for quiet time, you are doing the right things. Relax. Maybe he'll be President some day. Then everyone will be glad he doesn't want to sleep alot! :)
S.
I don't know if this will help, but when my daughter was very young, she used to get up at least 10 - 15 times a night. She just said she couldn't sleep. It wasn't until she was about eight, that I learned she had an overactive thyroid, but the doc said I didn't need to be concerned.
By age 13 she was finally put on meds.(It didn't click in my head, that this issue could have been her sleeping problem.) When she was 21,I asked an ER doctor who I worked for, if children could be born with an overactive thyroid. To my surprize he said "Most definetly!" I felt so bad! All the nights I complained, yelled, and even tried to bribe her to sleep - was all due to a medical condition. So, it's worth checking into!
Put him back in a crib until he can obey your rules for when it is time to sleep. Perhaps he has too much freedom too early.
I would check into what he is eating throughout the day. He might be getting too much sugar and caffiene. All the "oses", high fructose corn syrup, sucrose...hidden msg.."natural flavors" could all contribute to sleep issues. On the other end, 2 1/2 year olds have endless energy. If he's not crabby and otherwise cooperative, he may not need as much sleep as you think. Oh those toddlers!
I definitely would skip naps and do whatever you can to provide a relaxing atmosphere, eliminate caffeine and sugar, and keep his room very comforting but not stimulating. My oldest seemed to sleep very little, gave up her naps early, and was quite hyper. I knew other kids who were hyper but slept like a rock. Mine is now an ER doctor who works a lot of crazy hours and treasures her sleep but can awake and be alert quickly when she needs to be. She nursed twins through the night and never felt resentful. In fact, she could sleep while they nursed quite well. I cried when she gave up her naps early because I had a baby and I wanted to lie down for awhile, but that was how it was. You'll get through this. Try to keep things as positive and loving as you can. I'd say it is not his fault and you need to remember that. He'll sleep when he really needs to.
Hi Joy,
This must be very frustrating.
One thing you don't mention is what his attitude is like during the day. Is he cranky and irritable? These are signs of not enough sleep. If he is not cranky and irritable, then it would be my guess he is getting enough sleep in a 24 hour period of time and in that case I would try to cut out the nap and see how that affects the bedtime routine. Keep in mind, a change in schedule like that can take a week or so to really adjust and see how it is going to affect little ones.
If he IS cranky and irritable, then I would start looking to a medical reason why he isn't sleeping. Yes, kids have endless energy but it does run out at some point and they sleep. In addition, you can't just assume he is being defiant and you just have to 'make' him obey you. In my opinion, if he was being defiant he wouldn't be staying in his room. He would be trying to get out and play and what not. Being quiet and calm in his room and reading ... that does not scream "defiant child power struggle" to me. I know when my daughter and I are going through power struggles, there is no quietness about it from her end!
Oh one other thing, I'm guessing if it was food related... ie, too much sugar and such he would be very hyper during the day. Non-stop energy. But, even in that case there is always the sugar let down when they just crash.
So, JUST SOLEY based on the information you've given here...I'm guessing it is that he just isn't tired and you need to cut out the nap. Maybe also make sure he is getting enough exercise and mental stimulation during the day so he is really tired. I know we have to make sure our daughter has enough activity during the day. She's very curious and active and has alot of energy she needs to expell.
Well I'm from the old school of the old tried and true that a warm glass of milk before bedtime helps. I've implemented a calcium tablet now and then but only because I can take tablets. Still a nice warm glass of milk is very relaxing. Actually it doesn't even matter if it's warm. But warm is relaxing.
Hi Joy,
I was about to write exactly what I see Vanessa wrote: maybe your son is ready to give up naps! Some "experts" say children need naps until they are 5, but believe me, if you look online, you will see SO many people's kids gave up their naps sooner than that! My son was 2.5 years old when he had completely given up his nap. I was upset about it because he had a baby sister who transitioned from two naps to one at the same time my son gave up his naps, which left me NO "me" time! But what can you do? You can't force sleep on a child, and if you do force a child to nap, then guess what! They'll just sleep less at night! If my son (now 3.5 years old) falls asleep in the car even for just 10-20 minutes, he will not be able to fall asleep until 11 pm instead of 8:30 pm!
If this turns out to be the case for your son, remember, this is a transitional period. There are days when your son doesn't get his nap and will be tired and crabby. Expect that. It's something every parent/child has to go through sooner or later, but realize that it will pass, even if not for a few months. Still try to keep a period of "down time" for him in the afternoon, where he has to sit in his room or on the couch and read books or play with puzzles, etc. Heck, even us adults need down time!
As far as being concerned with the amount of sleep he gets, don't worry. Every child is different, and both of my kids sleep about 2 hours less (on average) than what the "experts" say kids in their age group need. Our doctor said that is just fine. In fact, when it came time for my son to give up his naps, our doc said she is definitely more concerned with the amount of sleep a child gets at night, rather than the total amount of sleep they would get when you add night-time sleep with naps. She was happy to see my son start sleeping 11-12 hours each night rather than sleeping 2 hours in the day and only 9-10 hours at night.
Speaking of giving up naps, my daughter is starting to transition to zero naps now...and she won't be 2 years old until next month! Ahhhh!!! Good luck with your son!
Have you tried removing the stimulus from his room? I had to do the same for my daughter at that age but for her it was dolls. She would stay up all night playing with them so I took them out of her room and after about a week she started going to sleep easier.
