2 1/2 Year Old Frequent Tantrums

Hi

I don't have actual experience with this but just wanted to offer some ideas that may work. As he has speech issues and is also limited in understanding what you are asking , would picture instructions work? I know these can work with autistic children. For example if you need him to get ready to leave the house by putting on shoes/coat have a picture card with those items on and show him 5 mins before you actually put them on so he has time to process the information and know that a 'change' is coming up. You could also have a picture card with a toothbrush/bath/food etc for all types of reoccuring events that go on everyday.

Good luck

K.

My oldest daughter had a very limited vocabulary at the age of two and a half as well. She was in speech but we still had some communication issues. Has your speech therapist talked about sign language? Just soem simple signs that he can do when he needs to get his point accross. As for transitions, do you give him a ten minute/five minute/two minute warning? Ten minutes before he needs to transition let him know, "In ten minutes it's time to clean up." Set a timer so he can see how much time he has. then in five minutes, remind him "Five more minutes until it's time to clean up." Then in two minutes. When the timer goes off let him know it is time to clean up. We did this for a week with my daugter then she started cleaning up before the timer went off. As for story time, my daugter hated being read to for a LONG time! I ended up asking her therapist what to do. They explained that at that age she really doesn't care aboutt he story. talk about the pictures. Ask him to find things. This will help with his speech too. He can also find colors. Then if he wants to, talk about what is in the picture.

I hate to ask but has he been tested for Autism? My daughter did all the things your son is doing and more and it turned out she has a mild form of Autism. She is VERY high functioning but still has her moments. She has been in a great pre-school program since she was three. Who are you getting your speech therapy through if you don't mind me asking? We are looking into finding someone for this summer.

I was also going to suggest picture instructions. As a preschool teacher I had a 3 year old student who relied heavily on the picture cues. Also, very effective with him was saying "first x, then y". (first you need to clean up these toys, then you can go outside)

Also, with the help of a special education teacher, I developed a picture schedule. It was very simple. There were two cards up at a time "first" "next". 5 minutes out from transition time I would give verbal warning and show the child what was coming up next. At transition time he would come over put the "first" picture card in the basket because we were "all done" and move the "next" card over the the first spot. (I hope this makes sense)

If mealtime is the struggle. You could say and show first we eat then you can play with your cars some more. Keep insturctions simple. "First eat" "then cars".

I used the "first, then" with my now three year old when she was two and still do.

Without reading the other repsonses, here are a few of my thoughts from own speexh delayed son. First, give him notice of the time change starting at 30 minutes, then at 15 minutes then at 10, 5 and a two minutes warning. Then it's not such a surprise for him. Also, sign language helped alot in helping him to communicate until his verbal skills caught up. My younger son started signing at 9 months old because the older was using it to get what he wanted. You said he's seeing a speech therapist, have her help you to find out who to see for further testing if you notice other changes, ie repetative sounds, harmful play (sticking himself, hitting himself, etc) or repetative actions. I hope that this helped. By the way, my son is a high functioning autistic in a regular school, earning A's and B's.

the first thought that came to mind as a pediatrician was has your son been evaluated for autism spectrum disorders? This is the age where a lot of the features start to show up so if he hasn't you can do a google search for the MCHAT checklist and answer the questions based on how he usually is. There are scoring instructions online so if you answer them and there are enough concerning areas I'd take the checklist to his doctor and request a referral to a developmental specialist and early intervention. While children with language delays typically have tantrums due to frustration in not being able to communicate some of the other behaviors you mentioned raised flags in my mind. The pictures method works fabulously when enough emphasis is placed on the upcoming transition with children with language delay and autism who have social communication issues. Feel free to send back any questions you may have. S.

Hi J.. Our 2.5 yr old son has speech delays and is getting therapy too. His tantrums aren't as bad or as frequent now that we've started doing the following:

I tell him a few minutes before we need to stop playing or before mealtime, etc. and I'll do a 3 minute warning, a one minute warning, then I'll say, ok it's time. I also do that when giving him a food he really likes - I say, just two bites left, ok last bite, all gone. It gets him prepared.

We work on his vocabulary and model easy words, prompt him to repeat us with "You say..." Even if he gets a close approximation, like Peas for Please, it's good enough for now. I look at him when he's trying to tell me something, because sometimes he'll point, use baby sign language, etc. and that helps me if I can't understand his words. In the car he always shouts "more!" and I have to look to see he's pointing at the radio to know he wants me to turn on the music.

If I can't figure out what he wants, I try the "Happiest Toddler on the Block" method of mimmicing his tone and saying, "You want it! You want it now! You're mad! But I don't understand so we'll have to wait." Then I try to distract him with something else that he usually likes, like his Teddy Graham treats or some singing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

If he's really upset, I'll try some massage or compressions, where I give him bear hugs and hold his arms to his body for a minute. Sometimes I whisper that I love him or sing a gentle song while I'm doing this. It often calms him down after a little while. You can also look into ear pulls and ask his speech therapist about it. I don't want to try to explain it here and have you do it wrong, but it helps with some kids.

As far as discipline when I know he understands me but just won't stop fussing, I'll do a slow count from 1 to 3. I'll say, "I need you to stop fussing/throwing/hitting by the time I count to 3. 1.... 2.... 3." We do this often enough that he usually stops the behavior by the time I get to 2. If he won't stop, I say, "ok, you get a time out." And I take him to the corner for a couple of minutes. If he's upset, this quiet time seems to help him collect his thoughts. If he's in a silly or naughty mood, he may not take it seriously and smile the whole time. If he comes out of time out and does the behavior again, he goes to his room for a few minutes.

Good luck! Hope some of this helps.

I know how frustrating this can be. My daughter's speech was/is delayed as well and it is difficult to figure out what she wanted/needed before a temper tantrum would ensue. I started to realize that the tantrums were from her inability to communicate with me and from time to time just from being a 2 year old. My sister who is a speech therapist recommended that I print out pictures of several items that she typically uses and tape them up on the fridge, pantry and walls. We printed out pictures of a gallon of milk, yogurt, juice, cookies, goldfish, crayons, blocks and other items that she really enjoyed. She would then take me to the kitchen or play room and point to the item she wanted. It worked SO WELL!!! It really cut down on the tantrums and we were only left with the tantrums that a typical 2 year old would exhibit. You can really use the cards any way that you want - just use your imaginiation. We also put some cards on a ring that she can carry around and she points to eat, drink, nap when she wants to do one of these items. Good luck and hang in there.