About a month ago, my husband and I began telling our son that after Thanksgiving, when we got back from his Grandma's house, there would be no more diapers. We sang "no more diapers!", he told us there would be no more diapers and when we got home fromt eh holiday, he threw away his morning diaper and the last 2 that were in his diaper drawer--he was reluctant, but he did it! He opened a special gift all wrapped up with lots of tissue and bows--big boy underwear! He was thrilled.
It's only been 3 days, but I want to get some responses to his progress. He has not yet asked to go to the potty. When we ask if he wants to go, 90% of the time he says no-sometimes he even cries and freaks out when we try to take him in--even if he does end up going potty, getting a sticker, feeling proud etc. He seems very resistant, but when I ask him if he wants to wear big boy underwear he says Yes.
He tells us when he has gone and he he poops in a place away from us--but never the bathroom unless we take him.
We are going downtown for an overnight this weekend to see the holiday windows, visit Santa, etc--we knew he wouldn't be trained by now, but we atleast thought he would tell us if he had to go!
Did we push him too fast? Keep going? Pack extra pants and undies? Prep for the worst? Diapers at night only? Try again another time?
Any advise would be appreciated
No, you're not pushing him too fast. He's old enough to be potty trained. Thank goodness you didn't wait until he was 4-5 like a lot of moms do now a days. Keep praising him when he goes on the potty and ry a special treat for #2...maybe a graham cracker and lots of hugs, kisses, and love. Don't forget to let him know how proud you are of the BIG BOY. Happy holidays. Hang in there; you're doing the right thing.
You are pushing too fast!!!!! Everything I read is at least 3 years for boys -- and the more you push it earlier the worse it gets. I feel sad for your little boy who wants to please you, but is not ready developmentally yet. Please be patient with him -- poor little guy!
We had a lot of success not asking "if" our daughter had to go but "Would you like to go now or after snack?" "Would you like to use the upstairs potty or the downstairs potty?" Then the answer can never be "no!"
I think maybe you just did things in the wrong order.... I potty trained my son at 28 months and here's the order we did it in:
1. Sit on potty and get used to sitting on the potty. reward with sticker whether he pees or not.
2. Allowed to have a diaper free day IF he sits on the potty every 45 minutes. If he doesn't want to sit on the potty he can go back to wearing his diaper. It's that simple... boys who want to wear no diaper have to sit on the potty. Continue to reward with stickers every time he sits. If stickers lose their allure, move to something else like a single m&m or whatever motivates him. We had a chart and after 10 stickers he got a hot wheels car, after the chart was full (4 rows of 10) he got big boy underpants.
3. Wear underpants in the house and remind him to sit on the potty every 45 minutes (if he doesn't pee, remind every 10 minutes until he does). Continue rewarding with whatever.
4. Once he starts asking to go without any prompting you know he's ready to take them in more distracting situations like outside or when friends are visiting. It's too hard for kids to remember they have to pee when they're having lots of fun at first.
So.... keep going but maybe change your strategy. Always pack extra pants and undies. If he resists sitting on the potty put him back in diapers until he's ready to be a big boy. No pressure, but let him know that it's worth his trouble to learn. I wouldn't get out the underpants until he's hitting more than 50% on the toilet if I were you.
My son's been trained since September and almost never has an accident, but every once in a while he resists going pee "just in case" before we go out. A simple reminder that he can always wear a diaper if he's not ready to act like a big boy (eek!) is enough to motivate him now!
I had something similar happen when I potty-trained my 2-1/2 year old daughter. She was all about it for the first day or two and then practically refused to go! It turns out I was taking the wrong approach by ASKING if she had to go to the potty (she probably thought I was nagging her about it or maybe it stopped being fun). Instead, every 45 minutes or so, I started saying, "OK it's time to go potty!" If she fought me on it, I didn't fight back but just tried again later - you don't want to make going to the potty a power play. At 2-1/2, they're too little to tell you when they have to go. My daughter has been potty trained since September and only recently has she started telling me that she has to go - but more often than not, I still have to remind her and just take her.
Pooping is a different beast all together and may take more time. My daughter started holding it in which caused painful bowel movements when she finally went - adding to the trauma! We started rewarding her with lollipops (after trying stickers and cookies) - that did the trick! My husband and I often joke that she may have rotten teeth, but by jove she is regular :) I hope this helps. Just be patient and keep it fun! 2-1/2 may be too young for a little boy (I know they're typically later than girls) but only you can know when your little one is ready.
I am currently potty training my 2 year old girl. We are taking the slow and steady approach. She has been interested in going potty since she was about 20 months. So at 2 years we talked with daycare and they thought she was ready to start training. So I bought training pants from One Step Ahead and my daughter loves her "panties". She still wears diapers to bed at night. We have been potty training for about a month now and this week she hasn't had any accidents yet, knock on wood.
In the beginning she did really well in the mornings and evenings but in the afternoon she didn't want to take a break. We tried to take her to the bathroom every hour, but if she was really stressed out and upset about it we didn't push it. We had a 3 accidents and we're done rule and after a third accident we put a diaper on her. Some days she just wasn't interested. I learned that if she wanted to do something, like go outside, or watch a TV show, or something like that I would calmly say "Let's go potty first" and most of the time she would run to the bathroom. We also have potty charts in each bathroom and different stickers in each bathroom so she picks which bathroom to go to based on what chart/stickers she wants.
My daughter didn't start telling us that she had to go potty until recently, probably about 3 weeks into it and the first week we often didn't make it to the potty in time. Like I said this week is going well.
When we go out of the house we use pull-ups because it is just easier. My daughter loves the pull-ups because they have Dora on them so it took a while for her to understand that they were only for when we were going somewhere.
Good Luck,
D.
Don't rush it - he's trying to please you (which is SO wonderful), but he's not ready. We did the same with our first boy and it didn't work. We waited until about 3 1/2 with our second and when we made the suggestion, he was ready AND trained within one day. Don't make a big deal about going back to diapers and tell him that you will wait until he is ready and that you are proud of him for trying so hard (and don't be too hard on yourself. Every kid is different and we make the most mistakes with the first!). Good luck!
2 1/2 is young for a boy to be toilet trained. If you are doing all of the work, then you are trained not him. I would wait for him to give signs he is ready. You can get kids to act excited about anything if they think they are pleasing you. I think that was why he went along with the game plan. But from his behavior he isn't ready. I would try again later and be very casual about it. Don't say anything that might make him feel shame. Just a simple,"You know I think you still want to wear a diaper, just tell me when you are ready for the pants". I would avoid big boy pants term now that you have tried because he may think a diaper is like a baby. He is developing his own personality and will which may seem stubborn but is really a sign that he is developing a healthy personality. Good luck. A.
Hi C.,
My only experience is with potty training a girl but I think 2 1/2 is still pretty young to expect a boy to be potty trained. I think you'll find that you can not force him to use the toilet until he is ready to use the toilet. My daughter started using the potty when she was 18 months old but was not fully potty trained until she was 3. It is something that they do on their own schedule & offering rewards (stickers, m&m's, etc) or punishment (not getting to wear big boy underwear) will only go so far. Don't be too hard on him or yourself because it will happen when he is ready. Good luck!!
