1St Time M. to Be - How Long Will I Be Unable to Work?

Updated on August 17, 2009
U.S. asks from Tucson, AZ
23 answers

Hello,
I would like to get your opinions on how long I can expect to be totally out of commission in terms of work. We are expecting our first child this fall. I work from home running our own business and my schedule can be very flexible; however, specific problems that need immediate attention do come up a couple of times a day. In an ideal world I would just completely stop working and focus all my attention on our baby but I cannot really do that. How long should I plan on not being available at all for business? I suspect that going on no sleep does not mix well with making business decisions. :) But will it be a month, 2 months, 6 months, 1 year before I can have a few hours a day to work? Thanks very much for your thoughts and strategy recommendations, if any!

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So What Happened?

Well, based on my experience, I would recommend expecting to not get much done for 2 months at the minimum, and 4 months to be safe. Our baby cried a lot (or so it seemed) at the beginning, but that really diminished by 8 weeks. Nighttime sleeping began to really improve close to 4 months, not that it is perfect (close to 6 now).

just a side note: The 6-week window that some workplaces allow seems to me to separate M. and baby just when a whole new stage of bonding takes place. Until 6 weeks, it really was survival for us. After that you are finally just beginning to interact and enjoy one another's company so much more. So it's a shame if you have to go back to work just then.

More Answers

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B.W.

answers from Flagstaff on

Welcome to the club of working moms! I don't have a business out of my home so I had to find a babysitter for my son. THe first one didn't know what he was doing and my baby hated it over there so we found a new one that he has been with and he's now 3-1/2. I went back to work at the end of my 6 week leave. Don't feel guilty for putting your child in day care. They get to interact with others and that is really handy for when they go to school. My son goes to preschool and loves it. I have a sister who is a stay at home M. and her son has interaction problems. Enough about that. My other sister is who you'd love to meet. When her children were born her company let her work from home. When it got too much for her she hired a nanny. Yes they are pricey but the nanny really helped her out a lot. Go shopping now! Do not wait for the baby to be born. Shop around, do interviews. I think my sister only took a month off for both children. I'm not sure. Oh yes, shop around for pediatricians as well.I wish you luck and I hope that the three stories help you ot.

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C.R.

answers from Las Cruces on

I think this really depends on the individual. I started working again when my son was about 2 months and wish I had waited at least another month. Other moms that I know went back at 6 weeks to the day and were fine with it. Can you schedule yourself out for two months, with the option of another month (or more) if needed? I'd definitely block out at least two months if you can.

Good luck and Blessings to you and your family. :)

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B.B.

answers from Tucson on

I agree- it all depends on M. and baby. With each of my kids (all 5) I felt so much better after no longer being pregnant that I was ready to go as soon as I got home from the hospital. When I did daycare I took a week off. When I waited tables I took 6 weeks off. You will quickly learn what you can handle with your new little one. Babies sleep a lot (at least mine did- for a few hours at a time) in the beginning. Congrats- enjoy your new little one and good luck.

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T.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi Ursula - It's very hard to put it to an exact amount of time but it really depends on the schedule you are able to make with your new baby. I own my own company out of the house when I had my first. It really varies. I recovered from the birth pretty quickly, and ready to work right away. I really did my work whenever she was sleeping or playing. Of course, the first few weeks/months, she'll sleep and eat so that was easy. After she was up more and more, it took some adjusting. But she was usually pretty good with the bouncer, swing, exersaucer, etc, if I needed to work when she was awake. So, unfortunately, it's not an exact science and you'll have to see what happens.

All in all - work (or sleep) when the baby is sleeping. Find the activities that the baby likes when it's time to find time to work. Or if you can when the baby is sleeping through the night, work at night.

Hope that helps and good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

Ursula,

Congratulations on your first little one. What a special time for you.
As far a work goes it really depends on how you feel. with my first little one I was back at work within six weeks, I really didn't want to go but I had to. After I had my second baby I didn't go back to work. It was hard transitioning to two children. Now I have three,my youngest is four weeks,and have an Avon business, go to school full time online and run my household. It makes for a very busy schedule but I have finally got the hang of it. I do a lot of my work at night while my kiddos sleep. If I must work during the day I have the older two play in the den and put the baby in the wing by me.
If you feel like in two weeks you can do a couple hours work then do. Give yourself time to adjust though. Enjoy the time you get with your little one, they are only this age once. If you would like to ask questions don't hesistate to get in touch. My e-mail is ____@____.com luck and congrats again!

M.

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M.H.

answers from Albuquerque on

Congratulations, first of all, on having your first baby!!!

I also work from home part time. When I had my daughter on a Wednesday, I was back doing work by Friday. The beauty of having a newborn is that they sleep ALL the time!!! It will get harder to work at home as your baby gets older and stays awake more and more. Once that happened for me, I just worked while she was taking her naps. I now have 2 kids and it is a challenge to work from home until my husband comes home and can take over. By that time for you, I'm sure you will have a plan in place! So to answer your question...you can work from day 1!!! Good luck!

L.W.

answers from Phoenix on

First, congrats on the upcoming birth of your baby!

Second, I also run my business from my home. I will have to agree with the other ladies, you'll have to take it one day at a time because every new M. with their newborn is going to be different.

As an example, with my first child I was induced due to preeclampsia. I was barely able to walk for 2 weeks! Luckily my husband took off a week and my mother came down for a week. With #2 and #3 I had natural child births and was up and walking pretty much an hour later. Also something to consider... my #2 child wanted nothing to do with breast feeding and was completely bottle fed, so in running my business, it was fairly easy to get up and go with a newborn and a 3 YO... just had to pack up a couple of bottles. #3 only wanted to breast feed, so I always had to make sure I worked in time to feed my baby (I did not breast feed in front of people) and safely entertain my then 18 MO and 4 YO. Night time sleep is a different issue, as my #1 started sleeping through the night at 3 months, #2 at 6 weeks and #3 at 8 months.

I loved having a portable swing. It was easy to take with me whichever room I was in the house as well as being able to take the swing with me where ever I went. A sling was great too, especially once my child outgrew the infant carrier (and all my children outgrew it by 3 months of age.)

Good luck!

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C.P.

answers from Phoenix on

I work from home and when I had my baby girl in Feb, I was back to working three or four hour's a week within a week. I had a c-section and it still didn't slow me down. Just don't rush back into anything. It's no fun sitting on phone calls with a screaming baby in the backround..TRUST me on this...

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J.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Call me crazy, but I was up and at the computer working the day after I got home from the hospital. We have our own business and while my husband could have technically taken care of a majority of the work, he simply was not familiar with the billing portion of our business. Of course I didn't know exactly when my daughter was going to be born, and it just so happened to fall very close to our billing date. Flexibility to wait a week or two? None. Had to do it. The baby sat in a bouncer while I billed, if she needed to be nursed I did it, sometimes one hand on the keyboard, shoulder holding the phone and baby on the boob. My toddler colored on the floor, did puzzles or watched a video. It just had to be.

Sooooooo....I would say, whenever you feel up to it, give it a whirl. I used nap times to make my phone calls and to run credit and the rest of the time was spent with the kids. If I had to take a phone call, I did. My kids became accustomed to our business and loved to color with yellow highlighters at six months old-my almost six year old is still an artist:) I guess what I am trying to say is that it will be what you make it. If you feel you can't do the work, hire someone to help you. I found a girl that would input data for me and I let her bring her baby with her. We just made it work. When your baby is here, you will know. I happened to have easy babies that didn't cry a lot. Some people don't have easy babies,so you will probably have to wing it. I say give yourself a few weeks at first and then evaluate your situation. If you think you can do it, then go for it. You can also hire a mother's helper to come in and sit with the baby for an hour or two while you make calls, respond to emails, etc. I am not sure if I helped or not, but I wish you the best of luck!

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M.P.

answers from Phoenix on

of course it depends on your recoup time you have it made that you can gauge daily how much work you can get done today or if today will have to be an off day. I would spend a few weeks writing down everything baby does to occupy your time and schedule your work around that --- realize that you can possiby multi task at times--- feed baby a bottle and type or use the phonewithout knowing the type of business you do it is hard to really help you with suggestions

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N.O.

answers from Phoenix on

Greetings Ursula!

It all depends. With my first I was out 5 months because I was dealing with post partum depression. This time around I plan on being about the maximum FMLA laws will let me, which is 12 weeks. C-sections can keep you out of commission longer than regular delivery as well becasue your body has more healing to do. Thankfully, with working at home you will be able to do what you can and stop if it is too much without penalty or consequence. You are your own boss:)

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D.P.

answers from Tucson on

Hello Ursula,

I can say that I was home with my first son for a total of 2 months before I went back to work. I don't work now as we can afford me to stay home with my boys here. When I lived in CA, I had to go back to work in order to afford the rent and food. Working with young kids is difficult, but sometimes necessary. It would be good to get your baby used to sleeping while people are talking and such as that way you will be able to talk and work while your baby sleeps. I can tell you it will not be easy at all. You will have night feedings for a while and you will be really tired. I did not work inside the home when I did work. We had a Daycare provider and all. For you being a work at home person. I would wait until the baby has a schedule, and work while he/she sleeps.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Dear Ursula,


Congrats! newborns sleep a lot...but their pattern changes rapidly as they grow. Do you have the power to pick WHEN you get to deal with the work stuff? if not, work and newborn do not mix. My daughter wanted lots of my attention for the first 3 years. Maybe you can hire some in home help to watch and play with your toddler while you work...or the opposite, hire someone to do the business work. Good luck. parenting is very important work!

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L.V.

answers from Phoenix on

There's many considerations to think about. Do you need to work? do you have family that can help you take care of the baby a couple of hours during the week. what type of business do you have and what responsibilites do you have. Can you actually set your own hours and work only those hours you set. This way it will help you organize the time your baby sleeps,feeding and perhaps have someone come over and help u out w/baby while you work (from home I assume) But, some women go back to wrk right after the 6 weeks or even b4. DO you plan on breastfeeding? breadsfeeding takes almost 4 weeks or more to get accustomed. What ever you decide just remember they are babies only once, try to get help from family first. I am sure once you have the baby you will know what is right for you. In the meantime enjoy your last few months of pregnancy. Once you have the baby all your decisions, thoughts, feelings may change.

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J.M.

answers from Tucson on

Hi and Congrats on your new baby, The best advice that I ever got were that to remember every baby and Mama are different, knowing that seemed to help!! I would say since ya work from home maybe try an hour here or there but dont push yourself!! I stopped working when I was pregnat, but sister worked untill the day of, so there ya go! Just remember to relax and enjoy every moment with your sweet baby and all the other stuff will fall into place! xoxo

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R.O.

answers from Tucson on

I think it will depend on you and the baby as well as what your plans for child care are. I went back to work when my daughter (now 6.5 months) was 10 weeks old and it was good timing for us. She had gotten into a pattern of only getting up once per night to eat and was fine with going to the sitter. I only work part-time so it was an easier adjustment for us than if I worked full-time. It sounds like you have a lot of flexibility so it may be an easier transition for both you and baby. No one will really be able to give you a specific time frame because its all based on what is comfortable for you AND for baby. You may find that after 6 weeks you can get back to it or it could take 6 months. Also, I would suggest having someone watch the baby while you are working because let me tell you, its tough to get ANYTHING done with a little one around!!!! Good luck and let me know how it turns out!!! Congrats on your little one!

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M.C.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi Ursula,

It really depends on your child and how much attention it will need. My daughter had colic from the second week to about three months and screamed half the night and during the day some too. I was so stressed and sleep deprived that I could not have worked at all in that time frame. But of course, we live far away from our family so I did not have much help after my husband had to go back to work. That is a big helper if you have family willing to help.

A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Everyone is different and it may be a day or a month. I know after my first child was born we owned a plumbing business and I did all of the office work and worked full time out of the house as well. I took the entire maternity leave off from my full time job and focused on our baby and plumbing business. I was grocery shopping the day after giving birth on the way home from the hospital(not suggested). To be honest I didn't have any family where we were living and I had to get back in the swing of things right away. If you have a supportive family and a good support system take all the time YOU feel you need to go back to work as your body needs as much rest and energy to give to your new little one. Good luck and if you need anything please dont be afraid to ask. Congratulations=O)

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B.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi Ursula
You have some great responses. Congrats on your first baby. I agree with everyone that each person, delivery and baby are unique, so I will share my experience and maybe it will help you. I began doing limited work within days of delivery, I do some of my work from home and I am able to do a lot on the computer and cell phone. When he was very little it was easier due to his sleeping a lot and not moving around. The only challenge was a ringing phone would trigger his waking :). When I needed to work outside the home my father-in-law was the sitter for our son. I would also do work at night when my son went to bed. At about 9 months he was walking and becoming more active, so I brought in a part time nanny, she comes to my home. We work on a flexible schedule so every week is based on my needs.

Best of luck with whatever you choose and congratulations again.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Well, I think you will be very tired in the first 6-8 weeks (and healing), but somewhere in there you will start finding time to take calls, sit at the computer, etc. Then, around 3-4 months old, the baby will want playtime attention from you, but s/he will still nap a lot so you'll find some time. Then, the baby will start eating solid foods around 6 months and you will have to sit there and spoon feed three times a day which takes at least 30 minutes (in my experience, obviously). Plus, I make my own baby food, so that takes some time. Then they crawl and that seems like they are into everything. Then the walk and they really ARE into everything. I work evenings and weekends when my husband can watch the kids. I get on the computer and do an hour or two of work once a week when the baby naps and my toddler is at his once-a-week day care.

If moms are able to work at home and take care of kids, I don't know how they do it! I wish you the best.

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S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I think that's a very tough question to answer, especially since this is your first child. Depending on how your delivery goes will determine how physically able you are to do anything around the house especially for your business. I would say that after a couple of weeks of adjusting to life with a baby that you'll be able to spend some time working at home. I telecommute at home between 2-3 days a week and started doing that when I went back to work after 3 months. If anything, it's easier when they're young and they are content laying on the floor in your office or in a bouncy chair etc. It starts to become more difficult when they're mobile or want to play more. Good luck!

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J.A.

answers from Phoenix on

Honestly, you probably need to accept that your life is going to dramatically change when your baby gets here and you will have to find a new mode of operation that works with your new responsibilities. Being a work from home M. as well, I can tell you that while it is wonderful and exceptionally rewarding, it can also be difficult because babies don't often understand the "hold on for a minute" phrase...when they want or need something, it usually has to be RIGHT NOW! ;)

That being said though, I was completely out of commission for at least a week (just trying to cope with the life changes, body exhaustion and general recouping). After that, I was physically feeling better but still massively fatigued. You will find that nursing can take a lot out of you! It's like a natural sleep agent! :)

We were in a pretty good routine by about a month. At that point, I could work around my babies schedule throughout the day to get a few things done for work. While you may be feeling up to it before then, I would give yourself at least a month to make sure you don't bring on any post-partum issues resulting from stress. If you run yourself down, you won't have much patience left for your new baby and she/he will need a LOT of patience during these first few weeks of adjusting to life. You will be seriously sleep deprived and you want to save what energy you have for your little one, especially during these first critical months. Incidentally, too much stress and not enough sleep can also affect your milk supply and your babies ability to nurse. So pace yourself! everyone's different and if you listen to your body and your babies needs, you will be able to find that magical balance of responsibilities much faster.

Hope this helps! Good luck and congratulations! Don't wish away those first few months with your baby...they are some of my most precious memories!

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S.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Obviously it will be up to you but I found that around 6 months my children were on a great napping routine. I would put them down at 9am and they'd sleep until 11am and then I'd put them down again at 2pm and they'd sleep until 4pm. I think if you get them on a schedule at that's consistent but you do have to wait until about 6 months when they're ready for it, you will be able to have plenty of time to work.

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