1St Grader Being Harassed

Updated on August 31, 2009
X.L. asks from Sacramento, CA
5 answers

Alright Mamas, you are all so wonderful and experienced so I am gonna put this one out there for you...

My oldest son is in first grade, he started 3 weeks ago, everything was going along great until 2 days ago when as we were walking home he starts telling me about these girls who bother him at lunch, I ask him who they are, he doesn't know, he tells me they are older, and that they sit by him at lunch, and then during recess they chase him down and take turns kissing his ears.. I am extrememly bothered by this! I asked him if he told the yard duty, he said no but he told his teacher, and she told him to point the girls out at the next recess. I talked to his teacher today after school and she said that he had indeed pointed out one of the girls and that she had no idea who she was, and that she didn't want to totally discredit what my son was saying but in the time that she watched him she saw him taunting some girls by running farther ahead and saying "ha ha you can't catch me". I asked my son about this on the walk home, he told me he wasn't saying that he was telling the girls to leave him alone. These girls have also been waiting for him to leave the bathroom at recess and then are pulling his hair while he gets a drink at the fountain.. He doesn't know these girls, they aren't in his class...

So my question is whats the next step? I have given the teacher her chance to resolve this, and she gave me a bogus reply, I understand that they are busy, but my son is being tramatized by these girls! My husband has told me to take it up with the principal on Monday, what should I ask him? Whats me next step, and whats the best way to get this resolved quickly without going to some extreme like removing him from the school (I'm not oposed to this option, I could very easily homeschool him with a little outside support). Any advice or personal expereince would be great! Thank you Mamas!

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So What Happened?

I saw first hand what my boy goes through this morning, two of the girls that tourment him at lunch were waiting by the water fountain when we arrived for morning drop off, they shouted "there he is" ran towards him and started touching him, I asked them to stop and as soon as the yard duty came out to watch over the kids I addressed it with her and she went right over to the little girls and had a talk with them, she says those girls are constant offenders, and that anymore inapropriate behavior should be reported directlt to her, the next warning will be a write up.. Thank you ladies for your advise! If the yard duty doesn't keep up her word I will got straight to the principal, at least now I have names and room numbers for some of the girls!

More Answers

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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi X.!

My son is also in first grade and has some social issues with others to address. Remember, they are all kids and need help developing their social skills. My suggestion is to go to school just before the recess begins so you can see for yourself what is going on. My guess is your son likes some of the attention he is getting that is why he is playing that "you can't get me game" that the teacher observed. But, it seems like the girls have taken it too far. So, if you go and leave your other children with someone else so you can be attentive, watch from a distance. Don't let your son know you are there, and just see what happens. Often times we don't get the whole story from our children, only the parts they want us to hear. So you have to piece it together, look for the truth not just what you want to defend your son. There is no better way for your son to learn to interact with others than in the live fish-bowl of school. Taking him out will not give him the skills he needs to be adept at relationships and problem solving. I would certainly give the teacher a heads up of your plan, but I wouldn't let your son know.

I recently did this with my son over his food choices at the cafeteria, and although we had been discussing healthy choices, he wasn't implementing it. SO a surprise visit serves a purpose, and lets your kids know that you are monitoring and you care.

Good luck!

M.

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S.P.

answers from Sacramento on

darling hubby gave great advice. take it to the principal.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.W.

answers from Sacramento on

I would recommend watching him at recess without him knowing you are there. You may want to "disguise" yourself (wear a hat, sunglasses, stand off to the side, etc) just make sure you check in at the office first so you don't get arrested! I have done this w/ both of my kids and gained some very valuable insight on their behavior and interaction w/ the other children.
Best wishes,
A.

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C.B.

answers from Sacramento on

The Principal is the answer if you believe there is a problem. Older kids see them as a higher power and will usually listen if the Principal disciplines them. Some teachers are better than other addressing issues but the Principal will get involved if you ask. That's their job and they are usually good at it, that's why they are the Principal. Please address the issue ASAP for your child and you to have resolution. Good Luck

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

X.,
GO to the school during a recess period and see for yourself what is going on. Try to stay in the shadows and don't tell your son you are coming. Then, hopefully,
you can really get the jest of what has been happening.
He may be egging them on, but not liking the consequences once he does.
W. M

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