V.,
We decided no sugar for our boy. Haven't regretted it since. We have to grit our teeth when it comes to parents and OUR siblings making comments about 'deprivation' and 'I'm gonna tell him when he's older he didn't even get to eat his own cake'. He didn't miss it.
Having a separate treat or cake is not a bad idea, especially if allergies are an issue.
We made a waffle and plastered it with his favorite cheese spread (goat cheese) and he adored it! We also have had pancakes, too.
If you would like an eggless recipe for pancakes (my son loves them, and they were sugar-free, but you can add bananas and it adds a little sweetness) email me.
Good luck,
M.
PS: I think the sugar-free has led to a calmer boy overall. He's still very active, but he's not 'out there' on a sugar high.