My 19 month old son is really struggling with using his utensils. We continue to encourage him, offer exaggerated praises when he uses them, and try not to make it a negative experience. Unfortunately, he gets frustrated so easily and gives up. He's the only child in his toddler class at daycare that eats his cold cereal with his hands! I feel like such a terrible mother. Any suggestions?
Hi! My 21 month old uses utensils sometimes and his fingers sometimes. I don't think it's much of a concern. It sounds like you're doing everything right:)
T., my 18-year-old is still struggling with his utensils (and my 14-year-old and my 8-year-old...well, you get the picture.) And guess what...I'm a GREAT mom! And they are GREAT boys. But they are not fond of using their best manners all of the time. I don't want in any way to minimize your present experience, but cereal methods in toddler class at daycare may not be worth putting your energy into. I, for one, am not so very impressed that other toddlers are eating their cereal with something else. If this is the biggest concern that your little guy is giving you, then he must be a wonderful child. So enjoy that all you can, and I bet one day in the middle of all of the fun you are having with him, he will decide that he prefers to use his utensils (most of the time :))
My son is 22 months old and HATES utensils. He can use them; he just realizes it's much, much faster to get to his food if he doesn't. I would take a look at what you mean by "struggling." Is it hard for him, so he doesn't do it, because he's hungry and just wants to eat? Are other fine motor skills difficult for him? My 22 month old colors, and puts keys in the ignition, and does all sorts of nit-picky things with his hands; he drinks his Cheerios like a glass of milk. It drives us crazy (he eats yogurt with his fingers...), but we've never been big into feeding our children ourselves (we always give them small, small pieces as babies and they figure it out), so he'll learn. If you sense something is truly wrong, go to your doc. But otherwise, I really don't think I'd worry about it--he's still pretty young. Oh--and we have a five year old who knows how to eat, even if he doesn't demonstrate it often enough, so whatever we didn't didn't TOTALLY backfire!!
I wouldn't worry about it at all! He's still very little and sometimes boys are a little slower with the small motor skills. Just keep handing him the utensils and he'll eventually figure it out.
My daughter did not use utensils till she was two years old. She is just turing three years old and has it down, so just let your son haev fun with them, soon enough he will figure it out. My daughter still likes to use her hands with cereal (cold or dry) some kids are more hand eaters but we are seeing our daughter gorwing out if it around 3 years of age.
You are a great mother, just keep ing with him, when he gets frustrated just let it be he will learn how to use utensils soon enough.
T., he is getting old enough to start understanding things. Since you said that he gives up easily maybe you could show him that it is ok not to do something perfectly. I have a daughter (who is now 9) who thought, up until a short time ago, thought she had to be perfect at something and if she wasn't then she just shouldn't do this. My husband tends to be a perfectionist and she saw him getting mad at himself when something wasn't just right. One day I made a big mess on accident while cooking. She happened to be there so I asked her if I should just give up cooking. She said no so I said, see we don't have to be perfect at everything.
I know that he is a little young to comprehend all of that but maybe it is a start. Remember it has nothing to do with you being a bad mom. He is a great kid and will use them eventually. I garuantee he will NOT go to kindergarten not using a utensil.
Good luck and God Bless
Sher
I would suggest you ask your son's pediatrician for a referral for an occupational therapy assessment. The test is non-invasive and will identify any fine motor skill problems your son may have. My attitude is that the test is non-invasive and if no problems are identified, then you have peace of mind. However, if there are issues, then you've caught them early and your son will be better for the intervention.
Personally, I wouldn't let it stress me out too much. He's still relatiively young. He'll start using them eventually.
I have only one thing to say...Patience. Your little guy will just one day pick up his fork or spoon and start using it like a pro - when he is ready. Some kids like to just show their independence as well. Just don't push. He'll come around in his own time. Keep doing what you are doing. It'll be less stressful for both of you.
Hi T.
Your son not being able to use utensils efficiently at his age is not your fault or even a reflection on your parenting so stop beating yourself up about it as long as you always offer utensils he will eventually start to use them more regularly. they all develop at there on pace
Don't worry about it! He's only 19 months old! My daughter will be 3 in November and she still uses her hands half the time. They are still so young, how can we expect them to use a fork and spoon? I think we all need to relax a little and let them enjoy being kids. Who cares what the other parents think!
