My 19-month-old daughter seems to have developed a fascination with pinching my 5-year-old daughter on the arm, and then watching her to see her reaction. I wouldn't be getting concerned only she pinches pretty hard and has even broken the skin before, which of course sends my older daughter into a crying and screaming fit and then both of them howl together. They both go to preschool and we've never had any trouble with either of them hurting another child, thank goodness, and they often play wonderfully together at home except for this. I've tried telling her not to do it right aftwerwards and that it's not nice, which doesn't seem to make what she's doing register(or if it does she's not letting on!), and my older daughter has now resorted to pinching her back, which also isn't doing anything but making them both upset. Time out hasn't really been successful with my 19-month old so far either, and even telling her and showing her how to touch nicely doesn't seem to last for long. I'm trying to be consistent but it's really getting old! I realize this is kind of normal sibling behavior but I'm just wanting any other suggestions so my girls can stop torturing each other if anyone has any!
Tie thick socks over each of her hands after she pinches, and leave them on for a while. (5 minutes to start, maybe a little longer each time). You can tell her you don't like to see pinching hands. You will have to do both hands so she can't get them off. It may take a while, but having your hands bundled up is very annoying. This is an alternative to a back and forth pinching and slapping contest.
I think you should separate them when this happens. The younger one will learn that the consequence of pinching is not being able to be with her big sisteer--whom she probably really loves.
well I don't know really what to say, since you have tried timeout,and telling her it is not nice, I think I would try just poping her on the bottom,not hard but just enough to let her no that this is bad,
I'm no expert, except that I grew up with an older sister (and younger brother)and I have two daughters myself. I think you'll be facing issues like this until they go to college! It sound like your 19mo old just likes the reaction she gets from her big sister. If you can talk to your 5 yr old about trying not to react to it than little sis may stop, although if she's pinching that hard it may be too difficult to ignore...Just continue being consistent each time she does it, at this age it seems they will never get it, but eventually it will stop. I tell myself that everytime my 18 mo old stands up in her high chair! Good Luck
If she's looking for the response, it will be hard to get your 5 year old not to respond (which would soon make the "game" no fun). So instead immediately remove the younger daughter from the room - say to a playpen in another room for a couple of minutes. She will learn that the response to pinching is her leaving the room.
But another piece of advise - watch and listen to what is happening just before she pinches. She may be doing it just to watch her sister scream, but often toddlers without a voice use pinching, biting, hitting to communicate their frustrations. It is possible that the 5 year old just snatched a toy or refused to share a snack or whatever else. When my then 2 year old went through a biting phase, it was almost always because the older sibling was ignoring her or annoying her. If you will teach your 5 year old to listen to the toddler (which at this point may just be her pointing at a toy she wants) and cooperate with her when possible, it will reduce the toddlers frustration - and her need to communicate in ways that obviously get her point across (ouch!).
I helped to raise three very younger siblings as I was grown when they came. We used a rubber doll told the pincher that pinching the doll was ok but not person. Separated and isolated the pincher. One sibling liked to hit during frustrations so we allowed him to hit on drums.
But consistenancy is the thing one must follow. Isolating the pincher may help tremendously M. W
