17 Month Old Not Talking Much

my oldest was 2 before he started talking much. He could say things before then but just didn't. Now he's 4 and I can't get him to hush up most of the time. My youngest is only 13 mths and already a chatter box. The paci is probably contributing but its perfectly normal at his age.

Has he had any trouble with ear infections or fluids? That can lead to speech delays due to hearing difficulties.

Hi N.. I wouldn't worry just yet. My son turned 2 in October and it sounds like your son is doing the same thing mine did. He would occasionally say a few words, but not consistently. Just didn't show any interest, I knew he understood everything that was said to him. I was concerned too. It's hard not to compare your child with other children, but they really do develop at their on pace. My son finally started saying a few words consistently at 20 months, then on his birthday he just took off. He can now say anything he wants and is putting several words together. Just be patient, he'll talk when he's ready.

Hi, Alice~
Almost every 'second child' is a lot more 'laid back' than the first. One reason is that we want our FIRST child to mirror our WONDERFUL parenting skills to the world and we spend lots of time with them and lots of intense teaching. Girls are almost always more verbal than boys, but even girls have different personalities and sometimes aren't 'talkers' (our 20-yr old 'baby' girl still isn't a star converstionalist although her older brothers and sister all are. Their dad isn't, either).

Personality, birth order, and other factors come into play. Also, with the second child, s/he has a built-in playmate (the older sibling) and Mom doesn't spend as much 'one-on-one' time with him/her as she did with the first one. Our oldest (daughter) said so many cute things that I remember. I'm sure her first sibling (boy) said lots of cute things, too; but because they were entertaining each other, I was free to be out of the room & missed a lot. Bummer! (Nice to not be so 'tied down' every minute to entertaining one kid, but not so nice to miss the 'good stuff'! LOL

Our oldest daugher has 3 kids (boy, boy, girl), and the second boy didn't walk til he was 15 mo old, but he talks up a storm. (He'll be 3 in Jan). They just do everything at different paces.

About the pacifier -- he's old enough to start only giving it to him when he specifically indicates that he wants it, then put it out of sight when he's not involved with it. Don't make a big deal of it, just let nature take its course.

I have a niece who was almost 3 before she really started speaking. We were all concerned that she would never talk. She would babble and a couple of words could be understood, but nothing really in the area of real talking. Then, one day, she just took off and hasn't stopped...lol. Some kids just develop at a different pace. Unless your doctor specifies otherwise, keep speaking to your son clearly and very regularly and I'm sure his skills will show themselves soon enough. Good luck.

My son will be 3 on Saturday, and he isnt making complete sentences yet. We had his speech & hearing tested, and speech therapy was suggested. Our speech therapist said boys have until age 3, before lack of speech is a problem. We have a 5 yr old daughter, and we kept comparing our son to her...which we tried hard not too =) The therapist said that the 1st born, learns to speak faster beacause it gets all the attention. So give your son some time, and if your that worried, talk to the dr. But at 17 months, I wouldnt be that worried. Good luck!

Our little guy was also slow to talk. The doctor wanted to do hearing tests but we saw absolutely no sign that it was a hearing issue. Some kids, they say, start talking in sentences at about age 2. Our little guy did start talking a lot right after he turned 2 and he spoke in sentences and used grammar correctly too (like he never said "me break" but correctly said "I broke it.")

With our son, though, there are some pronunciation problems. We're having his tongue fixed next week -- he was born tongue tied but we were told at birth that he would probably grow out of it, but he didn't. You could check for something like that.

But in my experience don't panic until after 2. One of my favorite writers started a group for late talking children and he says most in the group were talking a lot after age 2 without any medical interference. Good luck.

I had the same problem with my 18 month old son. He was saying words, but not many (I think 6-10 is "normal" by this time). My ped. recommended speech therapy! There is a lot involved in getting you child services and I wasn't even convinced that he needed it. I was never afraid he would be mute... Having been a teacher, I went ahead with the process and had him evaluated. When his speech was finally assessed and recommended, he was about 21 months old and saying a few more words. All the speech therapist did was come in and play games and focused on color words, shapes, simple directions (up, down, help, etc.). This was something I could have done by myself if I had been told how to do it. Now he is 3 and won't be quiet! I attribute none of this to speech therapy!
I think every kid will talk in his/her own time. With an older sibling, he probably doesn't need to talk as much because things are done for him before he has to ask... he makes a noise and somebody jumps to help him out. Maybe try having him ask with a word before you help him, etc.
Moral of story... don't worry! He will speak when he's ready. BUT that is just my opinion.

My first born was 7 weeks premature, and was behind in most things. When he was almost two and had been to the doctor a few times in a row for some illness, she noticed that he never talked. We were new parents and hadn't thought much of it, but he didn't even call us anything (Mommy or Daddy), although we didn't coach him to either. He would pull us by the finger when he wanted something. Your son sounds a lot farther along than this. So, we got on the stick and started reading to him much more and consciously teaching him words. He did start speech therapy concurrently with occupational therapy, and within 9 months was doing well enough to be kicked out of the program. They diagnosed him with apraxia, which means it takes a while for his brain to formulate his sentences, so it takes him a while to spit out what he is trying to say, but he is otherwise normal, and excelling in the first grade now. Someone who didn't know this about him might not notice that he is still somewhat "slow of speech", but in all reality my brilliant husband (a veterinarian) in my opinion has the same issue, just takes a little longer than the average person to formulate his sentences. Everyone is different, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. Our second son is three years younger, and always seemed so much more advanced - after all he wasn't a preemie. He seemed to speak a lot more (which he picked up from his brother). However, the older one left to be with my husband for a few weeks and start school as we were transitioning a cross country military move. So it was just me and the little guy at home, and his speech took off like a rocket in just those 3 weeks or so. So, older brother must have been doing the talking for him. He continues to speak better by the day it seems, now that older brother is in school all day (after half-day kindergarten last year.) Good luck!

Walk at 1, talk at 2! Probably nothing to worry about but I would have his ears checked. One of my twin daughters was speech delayed because she kept fluid in her ears, ear infecitons with no signs, no fever, no pulling, nothing. It just feels and sounds like her head was under water all the time. Finally caught it and got tubes and she was a different child within 2 weeks. If your in KY you can get him evaluated by First Steps, you ped. can refer you to them to set that up, it's free. But, he's probably just behind and with having twins I have to constantly remind myself to not compare children too often.
Good luck!!

I have a 3 year old, 17 mo old, and a 5 mo old. My 17 mo old doesn't talk either. We had his hearing tested. His hearing is fine. They said since he gestures, that is communication. They don't really start to get concerned until later. My 17 mo old doesn't really say anything yet. I have noticed that my 3 yr old likes to talk for the younger. I think that is an issue also.

I have a 5 yr old girl and a 4 yr old boy. My husband makes me so angry because he is always saying "(the girl) was talking by now...what is wrong with him?" All kids develop at different rates. Boys tend to be slower than girls. If you are truely concerned about his development it is best to ask your doctor. You are right thinking the "passie" can cause delay. I know it did with my oldest that is now 14 and my youngest boy. If there mouth is plugged they cant talk. I still let them have it till they were 2. Then I took it and found all the hidden ones and it was gone. I know with boys people are worried about autisim. I really think that you should talk to your doctor though before you get too concerned.

my DS was close to 2 before he really started talking much. he was the same way, he understood everything, just didn't talk. but now he is 27 months and is taking very good, he just started all of a sudden and gets better and better! now in short sentences and can say anything he hears (not always a good thing LOL) i do agree that taking the paci away may help. we got rid of DS's at around 18 months, but he only had it when he slept anyway so not too sure that helped him.

sounds like hes right on track they should be able to say about 12 words at 18 months. however children who have older siblings often talk later b/c they have some one else to talk for them! i know with my first daughter we worked with her like crazy on talking.... on my second we decided not to over do it b/c one my oldest started she never stoped! as for the paci not a big deal my daughter could talk to you with 2 in her mouth lol. he will start soon and then he wont stop! enjoy the quiet

N.,
I have been through a similar time with my son who did not start speaking till 2yrs 4mths. I am a healthcare worker and could find nothing wrong with him. He was very alert, his eyes focused and tracked me / objects. He played well. His hearing seemed good, he responded to sounds even when he could not see where it was coming from. But being a new mom with an only child I felt pressured to get him checked out. So I had his vision and hearing and responses checked out to make sure that we were not missing something. My son at age 2 said only "ga ga" for daddy and "Elmo". I did expose him to a lot of baby genius DVDs, music tapes, and rocking in a swing watching TV was my only salvation during terrible colic at 3mths. He was extremely attentive like a sponge. I do not know if you have similar circumstances, but i am told that some kids are like that. They soak up a lot of sensory information and speak when they are pretty much ready to. At age 2, with his 2-word vocabulary,I again felt pressured and referred him to an early intervention program run by the city or state of NY. It took 3 mths for the program to start. He got a speech therapist and social worker to come to the house. My son started speaking about 2 weeks before the sevices started. He said his alphabet and counted up to 20. I did not have to guess what he meant when he started speaking. The councellors wanted to know who referred this child to early intervention. They believed he was "gifted". I did not care, I wanted a normal healthy child. N., your son sounds normal speech wise for a 17mth old, but speak with your pediatrician if you still have concerns. They may do vision and hearing testing or they may not. Sometimes the kids just need to be left alone to develop their milestones at their own pace.

Hi N., don't have any suggestions but wanted to let you know I think it's pretty normal, my 2 grandsons age 2 and 4 are exactly the same. The 4 yr old talked and still does a blue streak. The 2 yr old can talk and knows lots of words but most of the time he chooses not to...lol So, if you've had him evaluted for proper developement I wouldn't worry about it. We have decided that my younger grandson just doesn't have much to say..lol
Pat

My son just turned two 5 weeks ago and was only taking his pacifier at bedtime for 6-9 months. There are two areas I will share with you:

1) Pacifier - a week & half ago my husband cut a small end off of the nipple of the pacifier, the goal is to cut a little more off each week until the child throws away the pacifier themselves. Well, he would not take it and immediately threw both away, two nights of tears and he was completely broke.

2) Speaking - Up until yesterday he was only saying one word at a time - no two word phrases. We had him evaluated Friday for speech therapy through a program in our State. Today the therapist called to let us know that he tested off the charts (high)in most areas and does not qualify for speech therapy.

Our son was a Preemie (6 weeks) and has been 6-8 week behind his brother's milestones, so the therapists said she thinks it is just from being a Preemie & he will catch up soon enough. I am relieved to have a professional opinion, and just to be sure we are doing a hearing test in two weeks, although we do not expect to find a problem there.

If you are really concerned check to see if there is an evaluation program in your area. Most pediatricians screen at the 18 month & two year well babies...discuss your concerns with your sons doctor as well.

Hi N.. My son is going in for his 18 month checkup tomorrow, so I'll see what the doc says. Around 15-16 months, he started saying 1-2 words. Now he still says his first word a lot (Cat), but can say maybe 10 other words (but only about 5 or 6 regularly). He understands a lot of what we say and follows many directions. I think because his thumb is in his mouth 90% of the day and he knows that I understand most of his sounds, that maybe he's not putting as much effort into properly pronouncing more words.

Best of luck. Try not to worry too much, but just talk to baby and read aloud often. I'm a soft spoken person, but I've been forcing myself to speak with my DS often, allowing him a chance to respond, even if all he does is grunt. ;-)

Hi! My youngest also isn't talking yet and he's about the same age as your wee one, my oldest is 3. Second children usually start talking later if they have an older sibling close in age. This is possibly because they have the older sibling to communicate with them, perhaps not. My husband didn't start really talking until he was almost three, and our oldest boy was nearly the same. Now I can't get him to hush! Our youngest doesn't talk much at all. He just points and makes noises to convey what he wants. He says Mama and Dada and Uh-oh, but that's it. I'm not worried. It can be annoying, but it's nothing to worry about at this age. People who have had bad experiences might worry extra, but if he says a couple of things as you indicated and obviously can hear, there's no reason for concern yet. It's VERY normal, especially for second children with siblings close in age, to start talking later. You can read up on it, even!

Good luck and keep it up! If you really want to encourage him to start talking more, spend a lot of one-on-one time with him and read to him lots and lots! The more you talk to them the more you can see if he understands what you say and will also help encourage him to talk more. =)

Happy Holidays!

I would not worry about it yet. He is probably at normal development levels. Your first may just have been way ahead at that age (my first daughter was way farther along than my second daughter).

I would say keep encouraging speech and watch. My nephew had a problem called "delayed speech" that was realized at about 4 or 5 years. All that was required was some work with a specialist that their school system provided (Houston, TX area). As long as you are able to communicate with him and he is not frustrated, then just give him some more time.

As always, when you have him next at the doctor, mention your concerns and get his/her opinion. Good luck.

My oldest son was extremely verbal and still is at 19. He talks all the time and started very early. My 13 year old was very quiet as a little boy, although he is talking more now. He would say things and refuse to repeat them for weeks when we got all excited about it. If your son is within the normal range (which I can't remember) he is probably just used to listening to the older one talk and doesn't want to say much yet.
Neither one of my boys used a pacifier or sucked his thumb, and both were in speech in school because they couldn't say certain letters, even though they were so different verbally.

What you are seeing happen with your second child is normal language development in second children. First children are our guinea pigs. We are learning how to be parents with our first child. They have to learn to communicate quicker because we are not as good at reading their cues.

By the time the second child comes along we are "old pros" at the parenting game and we read their cues quickly. We know what every little grunt means and quickly meet their needs. As a result their language development may appear slower.

In reality their language development is probably happening at the same pace of your first child. They just don't have to use their language skills to attain the results that they need. With your second child you will see a "language explosion" soon. It will surprise you all the words that he will know in a short period of time.

IF he does not have a language explosion by age 3 you can have a speech assessment on him to see if there are any issues that they need to correct. They usually do not do a speech assessment until children are about 3 years old.