16 Yr Old Wanting to Be 18 - Longmont,CO

HELLO There, sorry to hear you are having troubles. In many ways that sounds like typical teenage behavior, but then again it's unsafe for him and for the family.
My husband works for an organization that partners troubled kids with an adult mentor (of the same gender) who work one-on-one with them, and the parents also get a Parent Coach so the whole family gets help. They've had really high success rates and great outcomes thus far. They have a website at http://www.vivenow.com/
I know I'm biased but I think they do a great job.
Good luck!

D.,
Have you considered job corps? I know that when my sister in law was a teenager who was getting in trouble she got sent there and straightened out. She went kicking and screaming and it took her quite a while to accept the idea but she eventually did and it ended up being a very positive thing for her. Plus, it's no money out of your pocket.

Dear D.,

I know of a wonderful counslor but he is in Longmont Co. I will give you his name and phone number. You can't continue to let him do this to you or your going to have real problems on your hands so you unfortunily need to love but be tough. Are there things you can take away from him. CD Player Computer etc. You may even have to call the police on him if he is going out beyond curfew time. Find out from the police what the curfew is as he has to abide by that or can get into lots of trouble. You have to let him know you are serious and you have to stop taking the chicken way out. I'm not sure exactly what you mean by that. But if you don't stop this now your headed for more trouble down the road. my email address is ____@____.com or you can feel free to call me also ###-###-####. And here is the name of the counslor. He is at a place called Alpha Care Counseling and his name is Dick Miller and his phone # is ###-###-####

Hi D.,

I guess my first question would be "Do you have a church home"? I have two teens that have been active in the church since they were young. I don't know how I could have managed without the help of my church family. A great church if I may suggest one is Southeast Christian Church on Jordan Road in Parker.(My kids were surprised to find kids attending the youth service that they would never expect to be there.) There is an awesome event coming up there...christian rock, all day at the church in June.

You might try contacting the parents of the kids he hangs out with, and tell them to turn him back home when he tries to visit.

To be candid, being that my two teens are so disorganized, it would be easy to keep them from leaving the house...I would just simply move one of their shoes to another location and sit back and watch them "look" for it. (They can't even see the mayonaise jar in front of them when they open the fridge!)

Let me know how it goes...

Blessings,

C.

Hi,
I just wanted to say that I don't think counseling is even close to the chicken way out. I think it means you care and that some objective help would be welcome. It is very important to get the help when you need it. They can help you see things more clearly and open your/his mind to new possibilities in ways to deal with emotion, etc. It really helps sort out feelings and understand each other better. It is important to get a good fit so it might take a couple of tries to find one that is the best fit. Kudos to you for not giving up on finding a solution.

Hi D.,

Aghhh! Teens! You've GOT to love them. Often I think they are God's way of testing who WE really are as parents.

As my husband and I talk through how to handle different situations we find ourselves naturally responding in ways that we were handled as teens. Good and bad.

A book that we read that was a breakthrough point for us is "Parenting Teens with Love & Logic". It takes a lot of the "fight" out of the relationship.

Also, I'm not sure where you live, but we attend a small group at WoodmanValley Chapel that meets on Sunday mornings at 11:00 a.m. It is a small group of parents with teens. The support is awesome. Just knowing you are not alone gives you the strength to keep going on those weeks when you don't think you can take one more step.

When we are going through a tough time with our kids I usually remind my husband that this is just a blink of their life. This is not who they are really going to be. It is just a part of the shedding of their foolishness as they move into maturity. Every now and again God gives us a glimpse of who they really are and I cling to that as the hope for the kind of men they will become once we get through all this rubble.

Build on their strengths, not their weeknesses. We become what we are built up to be.

Blessings!

D. I am sorry that you are having to go through this dilemma.
I am a stepparent myself with teenagers and we have had our heated moments, but thank God it has never gotten out of control. I do know someone very well. His name is Dr. Barry Ham and his number is ###-###-####. He is a family therapist and a great one.
If you choose to get some reading materials I know of two awesome books that will help you. Boundaries with kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and also The Five Love Languages of Teenagers by Gary Chapman.
I hope this helps and that things will get better.

Hi D.,
I feel your pain too! You have some good advice. What I found out was that my teen boys NEEDED their biological father. THere was just something in them that only their father could help with. And as much as I didn't want that to be the case, they needed him. Maybe you could talk with your son's father and ask for some help- I don't know if that's a possibility?? My boys are now in college, but they understand why we are divorced and what kind of men they want to be in this world, which is a positive thing :)
At least they will try to make better choices than their dad did.
Peace, T.

Go to the website www.landmarkeducation.com. Landmark is a three day seminar that completely transforms people's lives, and they have a program for teens. The stories I have heard about the difference parents have seen are nothing short of miraculous. Both my fiance and I have done Landmark, and have never been so happy or connected. You can e-mail me with any questions at ____@____.com.

Hi D.,
Oh boy, can I feel the pain you are going through. I have a wonderful 16 year old son that I was at total wits end with not too long ago. He turned 16 over Christmas school break this year and made up his mind that he was not going back to school. I became the proud parent of a high school drop out. (Imagine the pride! LOL) I gave him a 3 month period in which he needed to get his GED and at least be working towards a GED, if he didnt, then he would be going to Job Corps.

Well, April 1 hit and my pride & joy was still up all night, sleep all day, sitting in front of tv, video games, or computer. I made an appoitment with a recruter and May 1, he left for Montana. It was the hardest yet the best thing I have made him do.

In the 3 weeks since he has been gone, just the change in his overall attitude is better, he seems happy, goal motivated, and actually seems to have a desire to do something with his life.

I don't know if it is something that would work for your family, but it has sure worked wonders for ours. I would be happy to share my experiences with you if you like, you can conact me off group & I would be happy to send you my number. I know sometimes it helps just to have someone to vent to as well.

We have 2 other teenages in the house as well. (We are a blended family with a total of 5 kiddos)

Here is a link to job corps if you want to check it out some, the site isnt overly helpful however. www.jobcorps.org

Good lucjk & know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

K.