16 Month Old "Hitting" at the Gym

Updated on January 31, 2009
L. asks from Woodridge, IL
4 answers

Hi Moms!
I don't know if I am overreacting or wrong here--let me know. So I bring my 3 year old and 16 month old to the daycare room at LA Fitness. I usually have no problem. Well today they called me to come get my daughter. Apparently she was "hitting" and pulling on the shirt of another child. When I get there she is happily tapping the kid on the head saying "baby, baby". When I pull her away and tell her to be nice she is pulling on the kid's shirt and the kid starts crying. This kid is around a year old. I didn't know what to do so I took the kids home( I assumed they wanted her to leave). If this were my 3 year old hitting I would totally understand, but she is 16 months old. Can't they distract her and mover her away from the situation? She is not trying to be mean---she is just obsessed with other kids around her age and babies She does this to my niece and sometimes to the baby I watch too and we are really trying to work on her being gentle. Is she a "bad" kid? I think it is just her age, and have tried yelling at her or putting her in time-out, but she just doesn't care!! Is the gym overreacting?? I understand that kids this age aren't being mean and wouldn't overreact if another child the same age did it to her. What do you think?? How I can I help her with this??

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

I'd say your daughter is too young for the daycare at the gym. I agree, those workers aren't usually trained day care workers and they don't run good "control" on the kids. At a real day care center they'd address the problem, perhaps a time-out and then watch the kid closely so they didn't do it again.

Your child is "normal" because hitting is a phase most kids go through. At a regular day care center they'd work with you on a plan to handle it (we always did) but at a fitness center where you essentially get a "sheep herder" for two hours they are not going to bother.

If it makes you feel any better my husband used to drop his daughter off at daycare at the fitness center where he worked (free day care). She always came out all wild, usually with some kind of injury. The workers were untrained teenagers who just sat in a corner and gabbed with one another. He stopped taking her there after a while.

Good luck! Perhaps you can try again after she gets through her hitting phase.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

The gym isn't overreacting; they have a responsibility to maintain a safe environment in which they provide care. Now, your child probably isn't going to hurt anyone but hitting is never acceptable. Never.

Unfortunately at a gym childcare, it is babysitting and not daycare. Really in most of those situations the people in there just watch the kids while you work out. It's not their responsibility to teach or parent the children; that's your job.

At home, you need to find a consequence that is strong enough to make her want to not hit anymore. Yelling at her can be counterproductive; sure she hits and she probably doesn't like being yelled at but the hitting makes mommy yell and direct all your attention at her, so her hitting garners the attention of everyone in the room.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I took my son out of gym care, because I was not happy with the staff. They just didn't seem to care or console him when he was crying...they are really just there to babysit- not to "care" for children. Now, I work out at 9PM after he goes to bed. I am sorry that happened! Your child is not bad- she can't know better unless she is told- she's 16 months old!

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

There's nothing wrong with her. I agree with the person who said that the child care at the gym probably isn't highly-trained childcare experts. You'd think it would occur to them to just separate the kids, but apparently that's too much to ask :-).

I wouldn't worry too much about it, but you may want to wait until she's a few months older before you go back to the gym daycare.

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