16 Month Old Bad Behaviour?

Welcome to the world of terrible twos. Many think that you have to be 2 for the terrible 2's, but they can start earlier, as is your case. My older son started terrible 2's at 16 months as well, so I feel your pain. What we did at that age to redirect was to always go to him and bend down to his level and hold his hitting hand and say firmly to him "no. No hitting" The key to this and any form of discipline is consistency. Do this every time, and it will end eventually.

My older son still doesn't eat much (he's 4.5 years old), so I don't have many ideas there. My only thought is to give him a snack at snack time that he can walk around with while he is enjoying his new world. If he is hungry, he will eat. I wouldn't worry too much about this at this time. He won't starve, and you will probably go nuts worrying about this and his terrible two behavior.

Hang in there! It does get better.

I think what you are doing is great. My son, at times, has tantrums but they are the crying kind. I can't get him to tell me what he wants and I can't calm him. When he does this I tell him that I am going to put him in his room to calm down. I then put him in his room and leave, I don't make it punitive but just a break. Today I had to do it and about 1-2 minutes later he ran out of the room smiling. Sometimes I think that they just need a moment to collect themselves. I think that redirecting and ignoring are perfect. He is testing you to see when you will give in. He will soon realize that tantrums don't give him what he wants. As for the hitting I have just said to my son, the few times it has happened, that there is no hitting and that it gives mommy an ouchie. If he continues I either put him down and walk away or just walk away. If he knows that your attention is taken away when he hits he won't do it for long. I think this is a hard time because they know what they want now and can't always say it. I am sure once the language increases that this will begin to diminish. But honestly I think you are doing all you can do for this age. Things have to be black and white and clear and concise.
Good luck to you...oh and to all those who have toddlers ;)

My son isn't eating great either. He is cutting his four eye teeth so that is our problem. Your son may be getting his molars or eye teeth. They say too that at some point a toddlers appetite does decrease a bit. I am sure he is fine.

We are going through this with our son who is almost the same age. Fun, isn't it? According to Brazelton (see his "Touchpoints" books - they're great), kids this age actually "need" to have tantrums in order to reorganize themselves. If you take something away from him and he has a fit, just stand back and give him a minute. He'll get over it shortly and then you can get on with it. If he's into something that he souldn't be and it's too fascinating for him to tear himself away you'll need to physically move him to another location where he can't see it (we have this problem with the cat food in our house). It's too frustrating for kids this age to SEE something and not be able to investigate it.

As for the eating thing (and this is actually where most of *our* power struggles are - my son is a food thrower as soon as he is done with an item), as long as he's gaining weight and having wet/dirty diapers, don't worry about it. He'll eat when he's hungry. Even if you end a meal early because of behaviour, he will not starve. I think, like other posters mentioned, being consistent is really key here.

I can surely empathize!!! And I agree with the other 2 posters. Sounds like you are doing well in handling it...just need to hang in there as he gets through his frustrating times!! Our first son was very laid back with an easy personality. Our second is very strong willed as it sounds like your son is. Would get VERY frustrated when he doesn't get his way, resulting in a HUGE temper tantrum. He too started terrible 2s at 15 or 16 months. MAJOR tantrums if he didn't get his way with the smallest thing...usually wanting a toy another child had. I too would hold his hands and calmly tell him to calm down, it's not okay to hit (or whatever was not okay at the time). A few times he was completely out of control, didn't know what to do with himself, so I buckled him into the high chair or infant to toddler rocking chair until he began to calm down, then let him out to completely calm down and comfort him and all. At those points if I put him down he would literally run in circles crying and throwing himself, so buckling him in kept him safe as well as serving as seperation from the situation like a time-out. It seemed to peak at 21 months and at 22 months now he seems to be a completely different child! He shares usually now and no more major temper tantrums. He seems to actually have begun to understand sharing/empathy. For a while there, I didn't think I'd ever be able to bring him into public again as I'm sure the people around didn't want to hear a SCREAMING child. The worst of it was 2 weeeks long and now he is SOOOOO much better. It's a completely normal stage, though some kids are naturally more extreme with it as our second was so much more extreme than the first. We barely noticed terrible twos with the first, but EVERYBODY has seen it in our second. :) Best wishes to you and hang in there!! Our second is now SOOO much happier now that he's getting out of that stage. Now he is just a silly, happy little boy who plays sooo much better with other kids now and is sooo much more cooperative. So it surely gets better with consistent discipline as you are doing and time.