16 Mo. Old - Extreme, Never-ending teething...or Something Else?

This sounds a lot like my middle daughter. Now, I'm NOT suggesting Autism since my daughter is autistic. What I'm suggesting is that he may have a food allergy, sensitivity, or intolerance. If he doesn't feel well, it would explain the clinginess, the crying all the time, and other difficult behaviors. He could be feeling pain in his gut and not know any other feeling, but not know how to express it either.

What I suggest is trying an elimination diet with him. What that means, if you're not familiar, is making a list of common allergens and trigger foods. Remove them one by one from his diet COMPLETELY for an entire month to see what happens. If his behavior improves, then you know that it's highly likely that you should not put that food/drink/ingredient back into his diet. However, you would have to test the theory and after four weeks give him the thing that you removed from his diet to see what happens. If he shows clear signs of behavior changes, mood changes, or digestive issues, then don't give it to him again and call the doctor to set him up with a gastroenterologist that will work with a nutritionist.

So first on your list would be to take him off of lactose for a full month but only lactose/dairy. The second month it would be another individual trigger food. It takes two weeks for dairy to leave the body completely, and then the body needs two weeks to learn to work without the dairy and what it's like to feel good. After that four weeks, you'd give a cup of milk and then within an hour you would see results. Then you could ask a pediatric gastroenterologist to do a breath test to confirm it officially and get it in his file for school purposes and future medication issues. For a month, avoid anything that has lactose, milk, cream, butterfat, milkfat, powdered milk, condensed milk, lactate, lactylate, anything that you think "might" be a milk derivative, no milk chocolate, no Boost, no cheese, no yogurt in case there's a milk protein allergy, no whey, casein or caseinate (milk protein).

If dairy isn't an issue after the elimination and testing, a gastroenterologist paired up with a pediatric nutritionist can walk you through with eliminating other suspects like wheat, gluten, soy, and other less commonly known trigger foods. We've been through this, but if it's food related it does get better.

I do highly suspect it's something in his diet since it's gone on for so long.

I would bring these issues up to your pediatrician during your next appointment. He may have other treatments for the teething relief and suggestions about his behavior. A diary of his behavior would be good to help you remember the frequency and level of his reactions. It sounds like he might be extra 'sensitive' and need a different way of interaction. Or he could be in the strong-willed category - also needing a new set of skills. Your pedi would be the best one to evaluate the situation.

I would talk to his doctor. My son was such a difficult baby/toddler constantly crying and just totally exhausting to be around. I finally took him to the ped. after I yelled at him for crying too much and realized that was not appropriate reaction (understandable, but not appropriate). Turns out that he has bad asthma that they missed on his well-baby visits because...well that's a longer story (I had an inclination that something might be wrong so I switched doctors). Anyway, one dose of asthma meds and I had a brand new kid (a very busy, spirited one at that). He still gets sick a lot and will get really sad/clingy/"difficult" but it's like I got a new kid! You're little one probably doesn't have asthma, but maybe there is something beyond teething. Keep a journal of his behavior. In retrospect my son's issue was so clear (especially watching videos of him as an infant coughing and coughing...), but it took 18 months to figure it out.

Since he won't play alone with you out of sight and is super jealous you say I would think it's not all teething. When you pick someone else up or give them attention and he screams just say 'not your turn right now' or something to that affect and let him know you care about others too, don't apologize for holding another child. You have a baby coming and you want him to know you love all your children and others and him too. You could then pick him up or hold him when you put the other child down and say now it's your turn and I love you or something like that. As for playing alone you will just have to work on that and put him in a room with a gate and just be where you can check on him often and don't leave him too long alone. My first one was very bad about entertaining himself, the second wanted to play alone as he got tired of always have his one year old brother with him. So personality is some of it, not all. I hope you get this situation much better before the baby comes. He will not be able to be left near the baby with jealousy issues and you need to really work on sharing your love and attention now. Talk to him a lot and while he's playing alone and you are near.

Ditto Jessica, a thousand times over. I couldn't have said it better, any of it.