15 Month Old Needs to Learn to Listen but How?!

better known as the terrible twos a little early just stick to your plan on time out and so forth good luck hopeful it will get better its not that he doesn't listen he just doesn't want to do what you want him to do

you just described my 15 month old to a T and tried the same things! I finally had to put him in his room for 2 minutes and shut the door. His crying broke my heart but I knew he was fine just hurt feelings.

When you remove him from the situation you have to redirect-get him interested in something else. Also, if he does these things while you are busy-making dinner, folding laundry etc he may really be wanting your attention. If you can play with him for a few minutes as you redirect, and when you catch him being good and playing with appropriate toys praise him for it-that's the good kind of attention he should want instead of the negative kind.
He sounds like a very normal 15 month old to me-emptying drawers, putting things in the toilet, finding markers and coloring themselves. My 21 month old daughter pulled her sisters chest of drawers on top of herself last week (just bruises) never a dull moment with a toddler in the house!! I hate the phrase "terrible twos", it's such a great age, so have fun with him as much as you can!!!

OK, if what he was reaching for was going to hurt him; hot stove, pot of boiling water, snake!, what would you do. He has to know the meaning of 'no.' To make your children mind you is not being mean to them. Sometimes it is a safety issue, and sometimes it is for your sanity. You don't want him to get hurt or become known as the spoiled child that screams to get his way. Letting him know now, will save you head aches later.

On the other side of the coin, if he looks at you and goes right on with what he is doing, he heard you. Sometimes children have ear problems and simply don't hear. We thought our twin granddaughters were just ignoring us, when it turned out they didn't hear us. If he responds by looking at you when you tell him no, then he hears you.

I can only tell you that to get the point across, I spatted the back of the hand that was reaching for whatever, not hard, just to say no means stop.

B. M.

Your son is just testing your limits - very age appropriate. Experts say that spanking before 18 months old is completely inappropriate and ineffective. In my opinion, spankings (after 18 months old) should be reserved for the deepest of offenses (running into the street, blatant defiance, etc.) Time outs also don't really work yet, as they baby still has trouble putting together what they did wrong with why they are stuck sitting in a chair. I recommend that you keep your calm, and continually redirect. If your son throws a fit or starts screaming, lay him on the floor and walk away. Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it and eventually he'll figure out that he is not going to get your goat that way.

Oh, and the terrible twos don't really refer to 2 year olds, they refer to the second year. He's not early, he's right on time! Good luck!

Welcome to motherhood,lol. First of all I am being sterotypical but boys ARE more wild than most girls and he is just at that age. Contiune to be firm with him and who cares if he gets angry at time outs you are the parent. What does your day care do for time outs maybe you and them should get on the same page. He will eventually learn to listen (or atleast know right from wrong, doesnt mean he will listen all the time) this is the beginning of the terrible 2-5's as I call them,lol. Good luck, I am a SAHM of soon to be 4 and it never gets easier trust me.

Your toddler is asserting his own mind and independence! He is being a normal toddler!
The key to this is consistence!!! If you want him to mind you, then you must get up each and every time and stop him when he doesn't listen to you and mind you. He will eventually get it, but it will take your concentrated effort to get up and go stop him EACH and EVERY time you've told him NO! You don't need to act mad and upset, just be firm. He needs your leadership and your strength as a parent at this point in his life. It will take hundreds, maybe thousands of repetitions for him to get that he might as well mind you because you are going to stop him anyway. Between now and age 3 is the age where he figures out who is the boss and that needs to be YOU! But, you need to do this in a kind but firm way. Don't get hysterical on him. This will be especially important when he starts real temper tantrums in a few months. Hang in there. Every age has its challenges, and this is a dangerous age, they have NO judgement and can drown in a toilet, get hit by a car, or electrocute himself, so keep a 100% eye on him. Think prevention, keep doors shut in rooms you don't want him in, or get gates to keep him out of areas. Baby proof everything to minimize the times you have to tell him NO! Have a cabinet that is full of pots and pans and tuppereware plastic that he can play in. Then, just wash out each item in that cabinet before you use it. Doesn't this make you appreciate your parents, knowing they had to go through this with you too!

My short answer is, check out Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. She describes this very scenario! And a lot of other common discipline problems. She's amazing. The couple of hours it takes to read it will save you years of headaches. My best friend has loved the difference it has made in his relationship with his son.

Good luck! Have fun with your baby!

L.

I'd recommend reading John Rosemond's "How to Make the 'Terrible Twos' Terrific!" He explains why a previously obedient and sweet-tempered little baby turns into an imperiously deaf person, and how to approach it. Don't expect a kid to "listen" for a while - he's testing to see who's boss. Keep in mind that learning to listen is a long-term goal - by 3 years he should be listening better, if you've handled the Twos correctly. And then you have a respite until he's a teenager. :)

What made you think that he was suppose to enjoy discipline? Of course he screams when you remove him from somewhere he's not suppose to be, of course he goes right back, then you remove him again, and again, and again . . . .with a firm NO each time. He is not fluent in english and doesn't understand reasoning . . . so this is not a simple process. Some kids are more persistent than others.

Of course time out makes him angry . . if he liked it, it wouldn't work. You just need to be consistent. If something is serious enough to go to time out for, then he needs to go EVERY time he does it. Tell him in a simple sentence why he is in time out. "You pulled the cat's tail and you have to go to time out now"

In my oppinion 1 year old are much more difficult than "the terrible twos". By two children can communicate more. I have always experienced more tantrums and behavior problems from my one year olds.

Please have his hearing checked, he sounds like my daughter when she was that age. A hearing loss can be very deceiving because it isn't like turning a radio up or down, sometimes it's only certain frequencies that they can hear and some they can't. This means that they might acknowledge that you are talking to them, however, they have no idea what you are saying or what you are trying to communicate to them. If you get him checked, at least you can rule this out.

If you have him checked and there is a problem with his hearing, please contact me if you would like to talk about what we have done with our daughter or just for some support. Our daughter is now 17 and a senior in high school, she does very well in school and is college bound next fall. We are so proud of her!

email = ____@____.com

Tap his hand and say no in the stern voice and remove him from situation all at the same time. If he goes back do the same thing again. Do not slap his hand hard enough to hurt, just a tap where he will understand that it is wrong. If he screams when you remove him, just let him scream he will get over it. Don't give in.

I can tell you through experience that you have to be more head strong than he is. Keep with the timeouts and spanking him. And keep directing him away from what he is doing. HE knows that you will give in if he keeps on so he knows how to push your buttons. Hang in there and be persistent. See if you husband can help in this also so he can see you are both on the same page.

Hi! You have a very normal toddler, so don't worry about the "change" in his behavior. You are right to try to correct it now though, as the sooner they learn the easier it is later. Have you tried slapping his hand when he is getting into things he shouldn't be? Maybe associating the pain more closely to what he was doing (i.e. I touch this, my hand gets slapped) might work better than a bottom slap. Other than that it is just consistency. If you remove him and then he goes back, next time slap his hand. If he still goes back, slap his hand again. He will eventually figure it out. If all else fails, move the thing that he was getting into to a out of the way place that he can't reach. I wouldn't try a time out at that age, I don't think that would be associated closely enough with the disobedience at this age, but I guess it might work for some kids. Hang in there, they can be taught obedience, but don't expect too much of him at this age either, as he is just being a toddler, and that is what they do.
:)
M.