15 Month Old Is Biting!

Updated on January 30, 2008
K.M. asks from Ashland, OR
14 answers

My 15 month old daughter has started to bite other children!! I know this is a hard subject for many parents on both sides of the issue. I would love some supportive advice on what you all have experienced so far. She plays well with other children in a group, but at times gets very excited and physical. She knows how to hug and kiss and gives lots of love. She understands the word "gentle" at home but not always when we are out.
Thanks in advance for your help

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J.H.

answers from Richland on

I know this might sound like a cruel approach, but the same situation is going on with a friend of mine, and so the next time her daughter bit someone, she bit her back. It took the little girl knowing how it felt to stop her actions. I don't think i would take this approach in public, but if you can break the habit at home, perhaps breaking the biting in public will follow. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

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D.F.

answers from Eugene on

Well, I read the other responses first and although several say not to bite them back, it is what has worked for me. I have four kids and I had two of them started biting. Ironically, its the younger two. I think it's a means of self defense, it's what a little one can do that the bigger kids take note of. Anyway, biting them back works really quickly - it only takes two or three times and no more problem. I've heard it from other moms too, that it's the only thing that works. So you can try the other ideas, but if they don't work, you might try this. Make sure your bite hurts though, or they don't learn anything.

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O.O.

answers from Seattle on

Oh boy, I remember my kids also biting to get attention from me or to show aggression. What helpled me was to deal with it immediately when it happens. I would tap their mouth just enough that they would know not to do that or their leg but I found it was better to tap their mouth and tell them that it's a no no to bite because it hurts others and it's not kind way to play and then I would remove them from the situation until they could say I'm sorry if they are old enough to speak. Time outs were helpful but tapping on their mouth immediately after the biting they usually got the point right away and then they lost their priviledge to play at that time. When they are that young they need to be taught better ways of dealing with their frustrations and we as parents need also to be proactive and step in when we see them having difficulty or getting frustrated before it culminates to bitting, hitting etc. so we can teach them a better way to handle conflict because we won't always get our way or be treated fairly by others but we still can choose to be respectful & self-controlled. It helped me to be consistant and to follow through when needed with discipline. When they made good choices and showed self-control I pointed it out to them and encouraged & praised that behavior. Hope this is helpful. God Bless, O. O.

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E.M.

answers from Portland on

My daughter is 19 months. I believe she started biting around this time also.
I take her out of the situation and tell her that biting is not allowed. I basically have her do a time out where she can not return to play for a couple minutes.
If she is biting you, I would pull away from her. She is looking for a reaction, which is why they continue to do it, they get a reaction. Doesn't matter if it's negative or positive, it's still a reaction with attention.

P.S.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT BITE BACK! this does NOT teach her anything. You say "don't bite" and then bite her? DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!
My daughter attends a therapy type group once a week and the therapist said the WORST thing you could do is bite a child back.

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S.P.

answers from Portland on

Just try to stay positive and correct her immediately when she bites. I would try putting her in a time out session right away even if you are in public and show her that its not ok anywhere you go. Be very firm with the NO response and set her down quickly for the two minute time out. This seems like an eternity to a toddler. If it continues make each time out a little longer.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

Hi. You might try taking her aside in a time out away from her friends and explain what she did wrong. You may have to do this several times for her to understand.She is really young and it may take a while to sink in.

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E.R.

answers from Medford on

I had one of my day care kids start doing that. When he did i put him in his play pen for the day - with toys. He didn't like being away from the other kids so it worked very well. Your daughter knows what you are saying to her even if she cannot completely communicate back to you.

OH AND BY THE WAY DON'T PLAY BITE WITH HER, EVER.

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M.W.

answers from Seattle on

This suggestion may sound weird. You might want to give her more milk. She may be deprived of Vitamin D. A friend of mine experienced this issue with a child biting (for no reason at all). Try more milk and Vitamin D. From what my friend said, "the child improved and got better."

It doesn't hurt to try new things.
I wish you and especially your daughter the best of luck!

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

The one time my son bit it was over a toy. I made him give the toy to the child he bit, even though it was his toy and our house. He never bit anyone again. It might have been different if it were something that I didn't want to part with....

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D.M.

answers from Spokane on

Hi, I work in a day care and have dealt with quite a few biters over the years. Most children will outgrow it. What we do is to give the bitten child a great deal of attention, hugs, lots of "oh, my gosh, that must really hurt," and of course point out to the biter that she/he has really hurt the bitten child. Sometimes it works. Please don't bite your child. Its like saying "don't hit," while you are spanking the child for hitting. Weird! Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

I have been reading up on this because my 17 month old occasionally nips me. The two things I have read from multiple sources are: DON'T bite back and DON'T expect such a young child to be particularly sociable. Don't bite back expecting to teach them "empathy for what it feels like" because they are too young to get that/retain that. And children under 2 are not really interested in other kids as playmates--they are a little too young to participate in a sociable way. They may enjoy being with other kids, watching other kids, etc. but when push comes to shove it becomes competitive rather than cooperative. They may get stressed and act out--by biting, for instance.

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

This may just be a phase and the discipline outlined by the other moms may be enough. Since she only seems to do this out in public, I am concerned that it may have something to do w/sensory overload and she is looking for comfort. My son has Sesory Processing Disorder and often acts out when he is overloaded. If her behavior only escalates when in group settings I would watch her and try to give her calming input if she starts to get overloaded or just call the outing over for now. If you want to discuss this further please feel free to contact me on/off list.

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T.G.

answers from Seattle on

I ran a Lifeways daycare for two years. Many children that age go through that phase and at my day care all of them were going through it at once which was truly awful for the parents. I suggest that when she has an urge to bite, have a carrot in hand and so when she does hand her the carrot and say "Biting is for eating, not for biting other children." See if that works.

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K.A.

answers from Anchorage on

The truth that many parents do not realize that, as cute and cuddly as our children are they are born with a selfish nature and are naturally self-willed. If they were not, they would listen to you every time and always obey Mom and Dad. (Children that are not trained properly turn into self willed selfish adults.) The fact is that God's word has the answers that you are looking for. I'd like to recommend a book to you that has been a help to Mom's and Dad's for many years. It is entitled "What the Bible Says About Child Training." I looked it up on Amazon.com for you. Here is the link to the book. http://www.altavista.com/web/results?itag=ody&q=What+... You can copy and paste this into your web browser or do a search on Amazon.com

There is hope, and if you'll look to God's word for the answers, you'll be amazed at how much help you'll find.

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