14 Mth Old Does Not Want to Feed Herself

We had some of the same issues with my son. Anything too textured and he was gagging. We had ECI come out and evaluate. We tried offering different things. I think what it eventually came down to was time. We hit on things he liked to eat in the right shapes and ease of picking up. One day it seemed to just click. He started tolerating foods better and picking things up and feeding himself. I know it's a little frustrating not to have distinct steps to work on, but as I'm finally figuring out, these little ones usually do things on their own timeline and that's ok. It only took me four kids to come to that conclusion. :)

Here are some good tips on children that are picky eaters. Good luck!
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/12/26/...

It takes a while for them to get the hang of feeding themselves especially I think for the firstborn who has no other kids to model. Tossing utensils was very common around here for a while!! My son took some time getting used to texture too, I don't remember how long, but at that age he was eating mashed up and soft things mostly. I know some kids are eating lots of stuff early, but I was very cautious when it came to food because I just didn't want to bring on too much too fast or risk choking. Even at 2 1/2 I am careful about things like ice, gum, or popcorn. So she sounds fine to me. I think around like 17-18 months mine had a huge shift in what he could handle texture wise. He is healthy as a horse and eats all kinds of things today. Good luck!

contact your local ECI and they can come out and help with the sensory feeding issues

My son is having the same problem like ur daughter. He's almost 16 months now and still NOT feeding himself yet. He can feed cereal, crackers by himself only but not using his hands or spoon to eat lunch, dinner neither. Everytime I give the spoon to him, he plays and throw it away on the floor ( same as your daughter). Also he has problems with textured as well such as MEAT...So I asked around and gave the answer, just be patience and when he goes to daycare, he will see other kids do, he will learn.. so I think the same with your daughter, she will learn when she sees some other kids eat, she will star learning. Now, everyday I just let him play with the spoon to let him get use to and put a little food on the tray to see how's going. My pedi asked me to give him PEDISURE if my son doesn't eat much food beside snacks..so I mix PEDISURE and milk together when he drink milk..seem work out, but for self feeding, still haven't get there yet. I 'm going to send him to the MOTHER DAY OUT program, 2 days/ week so he can learn a litte from outside and see how will work out.
Good luck to you

Have you tried her most favorite foods? Maybe if she is hungry enough, give her some of her favorite finger foods. See if she goes for it? Does she seem to have motor delays and thereby not being able to feed herself?
At that age, my kids did better with a salad fork. The spoon was just too frustrating to them. The fork gives them more control over what they actually get on the utensil. She will not put her eye out. Don't worry about that.