14 Month Old Not Eating a Lot

Updated on January 27, 2009
E.B. asks from Newbury Park, CA
16 answers

Hi fellow moms,
My 14 month old son eats lots of different foods - but not meats or vegetables. In fact, the only thing he will eat for dinner is grilled cheese sandwiches. If I make him pasta or chicken or anything else for dinner he won't eat and I end up making him a grilled cheese. He eats lots of snack foods like cheerios, fig newtons, fruit bars, cut up peaches, pears and apples. He will also eat yogurt for breakfast. He has eaten a few bites of oatmeal and eggs in the past but never enough for a meal. I'm afraid that we're getting into a bad habit here and we're going to have a 4 year old who will only eat 5 things. Should I just keep giving him new things and hopefully one day he will eat other things? Should I stop making him grilled cheese sandwiches? Please let me know what you think and any suggestions you might have.

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C.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello there!
Do not give up on your dream of feeding your child healthy things.
A long time ago I read somewhere that children need to "see" a new food on their plate 5-8 times before they even consider trying it.

Just make that broccoli, the carrots, the salad, mashed potatoes and put a very small portions of everything onto his plate.

At 14 months you can put everything you eat onto his plate. He should have a wide variety of foods already.

You can still make him his grilled cheese, but start making the portion smaller and smaller, add the veggies, in a couple of weeks, once he is used to seeing "other" colors on his plate, suggest he'd "try" one of them. If he does take a nibble - make a big deal and praise him. He might even be surprised that the green stuff is not even so bad. And he will love the praise!!!

I think most parents make too big of a deal about food. They fear that their children will starve to death if they don't eat constantly. Fact is that a normal child's natural instinct will not allow that.
Cut out all that snacking especially sugary things like fruit bars, those are really dessert not meals. Offer:

7:00 a good breakfast, ( that could be yogurt, whole wheat bread and jam, pb, some fruit, a bit of juice...)

10:00 a small portion of fruit ( 6 grapes or 4 pieces of melon or 3 strawberries...keep it simple and fresh. ), and a bit of crackers (no more than 10 fishies ), Don't give him more crackers until the fruit is gone.

12:00 lunch ( e.g pasta, peas and corn with a tiny bit of chicken or a 1/2 slice of whole wheat bread with some deli chicken and a couple of baby carrots)

2:30 again some fruit and crackers and then

5:00 whatever you have, plus a small grilled cheese of course.

Don't feed in between these meals. He MUST get a bit hungry before the next meal. :)

Oh I hope I did not overwhelm you with this novel I am writing but I had a picky eater ( my first born ) until I read this somewhere. I was so worried - I did not want to raise my child with unhealthy eating habits. I knew that being open and relaxed about food was the best gift I could give my child.
This was the best advice ever. I just started to offer different foods and downsized the stuff I knew he ate, I also started making for example grilled cheese with whole wheat bread. and not everyday. and offered other healthy foods. Once he got hungry and I was not looking. He ate.
:)

I have 4 children now, the youngest is 19 months, and all of them have favorite veggies, eat salad and are even open to try "funky" things like ratatuille or vegetarian lasagne (lol). Its so much fun!

good luck!
-C.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here's the thing, he's only 14 months old, so solids and food variety is still new for him. If you have found foods he WILL eat then, by all means go with it...don't stop making him what you know he will consume regularly. And, the 'snack' foods you speak of are all fairly healthy and not a concern in my book.

What I do when I want to introduce my son to new foods is, create a regular menu that he enjoys and add ONE new item to that plate over three or four days. If he doesn't eat if right away it's no big deal. If he is not interested in it at all over the few days, then I try again 3 weeks later. After a while, he gets used to seeing the new item and sometimes he'll like it and sometimes he won't.

I think you just have to take a deep breath and relax...he's not going to be a PICKY eater forever, but he's also NOT going to eat ALL the things you consider good either.

Just give him time...today, my 2.5 year old loves to eat stuff I don't and vice versa...they are their own little people and we just need to let them be and guide them as they go.

Good Luck!

D.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Visalia on

Hi E.,

Boy that's a tough one! I hate to have power struggles with kids that young! Its not like grilled cheese is the worst thing in the world to eat every night. I would make sure it is really good whole grain bread and fresh cheese not pre-packed slices. Have you ever tried sneaking some mashed up chicken in it? I personally feel as though you are the mom what ever you decide to do stick to your guns so you are not manipulated but I also believe in carefully choosing my battles so I am not backed into a corner. Don't say or do anything you are not fully prepared to follow through with!

I would keep offering the dinner you prepare. It is not uncommon for kids to get stuck on one type of food it is just important they are offered a variety and consuming a balance. Repeating the same healthy food is ok in my book. Even a few bites of healthy new things here and there like he is doing is good and going in the right direction. I would however really watch the processed and sugary food intake but I wouldn't stress about the "no meat" Just purely my opinion:) Your doing good! Hang in there!

Smiles,
Steph

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B.B.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

kids won't starve themselves, hun, and remember when you began to feed him solids? you may have had to offer him something up to 10-15 times before he actually ate it. keep doing the same with table food. he will eventually eat the majority of foods you give him, but you'll be able to distinguish what really turns him off and don't force those foods. for my daughter it was mashed up beans and for my son its mashed potatoes :) just be persistent and DON'T GIVE IN!!!! i know its frustrating and you feel like he's starving, but i promise he'll come around. it might be a texture thing, or it could be a flavor deal. either way, if you continue to cater then you'll get your 4yr old that only eats hotdogs, mac'n'cheese, and peanut butter/jelly sandiwiches. if you're truly concerned after a couple days of not doing things his way, call your ped. and ask about a suppliment, like pediasure. but only use it after you've offered him real food and given him an hour to do it on his terms. also, what worked for my daughter was give a couple of pieces of something i knew she'd eat(bananas) and then put just two or three pieces of 4-5 foods she wasn't used to and let her explore. after about a week, she ate almost everything on her plate. just hang in there!

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T.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I know what your going through. My now 2 year old wouldn't eat enough at meal times and was very picky with what texture foods she would eat as she didn't have many back teeth to grind food with... so I was constantly giving her snacks and drinks. This was the problem that I created.

After speaking to our pediatrican he suggested I cut the snacks and liquid which in turn should increase her appetite. It worked very well. She now eats bigger meals (although still eats like a bird) and as others have suggested always introduce new foods.

I would sneak in her veggies & meat as a puree over spagetti noodles. I had to do this less as her teeth have come in. Soft textured meats (no stringy chicken) seem to go down better with my daughter.

It sounds like he has acquired a taste for sweets and soft foods... just like my daughter! To get her to eat other foods I would only give her (for example) peas on her plate and have her at least try them, instead of a "balanced" meal with the option of not eating what I want her to.

Don't get caught in the "mom guilt" and give in with snacks before dinner/lunch time... If they are hungry, they will eat.

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B.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son started to be a very picky eater a few months ago due to teething. I have found that he was refuse things however if I left it on his tray he would eat it since he was hungry. If that doesn't work you can always try to incorporate other things inside of the grilled cheese (turkey, tuna, ham). I have done this before. I get the meat from the deli counter and have it sliced very thin so it is easy for them to chew. I also find that my son wants to eat whatever I am eating so some times I left him eat off my plate for a few bites and then give him a portion on his highchair tray and he goobles it up!

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T.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.,

Sometimes foods have to be introduced in a fun way. Try making him pankcakes in the shape of Mickey mouse. Try cereal with some of his favorite fruit inside. Give him a small piece of cut up chicken in the grilled cheese. In the meantime he needs to take plenty of vitamins and maybe some pediasure so that he will get the nutrients he is not getting. Take a bite of the food you want him to eat and tell him to take a bite. Gesture like his favorite stuffed animal is taking an bite and thinks it taste so good. Hopefully this was a few helpful hints. Try to introduce something new to him everyday. You can give him a small portion of the food he wants to eat and have a few of the new foods you would like to add.

H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

my 13 month old started down a similar path. I ended up filling her up on snack foods she liked during meals rather than good stuff. To pull us back in the right direction, I'm offering fewer snacks so she is good and hungry at her meals. Only offer the healthy options for the "first course" when he's good and hungry. Meat is also not on my daughter's favorites list but I offer a lot of varieties of beans for protein and she loves them (pinto, kidney , garbanzo, just use the canned ones and rinse off the salt). combined with a little cheese, its complete protein.

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I have heard that young children do not need a large variety of foods. Their palates are not completely developed yet, so they like it simple. For that reason, I don't mind that my kids eat a fairly limited variety of foods, but I always try to be sure they are all healthy foods, and they don't get to choose what they eat at this age (they are only 2-1/2 and almost 4). Every now and then I will offer them an "either/or" choice, but toddlers with too many choices can become rather demanding (and they're demanding enough as it is!) so I limit the amount of choices they are responsible for. That is your "choice" too, to let your toddler have choices about what he eats. If he really pushes it and refuses to eat what you feed him at a meal, if you are firm and do not feed him anything else until the next meal or snack time, it will probably be the last time he doesn't eat what you feed him. With that in mind, I do choose foods that I know that my kids like. They usually eat the same things everyday, and I don't think it is a problem because it is a healthy balance of the food groups. But they eat what I feed them, or nothing at all (they always eat at least a little something). When I want them to eat something new, I insist that they take at least 1-3 bites (depending on how much energy I have to enforce it, usually) but then the rest of their meal is something they are familiar with. I am not content with their intake of vegetables, that is a constant work-in-progress for us, but other than that, I think their diet is pretty good, and it is very limited. Hope this helps!

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C.S.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi E.,
I saw a show on Oprah with a doctor helping families with extremely picky eaters. The kids just ruined dinnertime and screamed for the foods they wanted and would eat nothing their mothers cooked. It was a real eye opener to me at the time, I had a young son. Basically, the doctors' advice was to feed your child what you were eating and if they ate, they ate, and if they didn't, they didn't. He said it is not the parents job to make sure the child ate, it was the parents job to have available a few nutritional choices of foods to eat. He recommended leaving out a plate for toddlers to snack on when hungry, which is something I did if my kids didn't eat much at mealtime. My kids never had much trouble with food. They still eat well and if they say they aren't hungry once in a while, I don't sweat it. Our rule has always been that if the kids say they are hungry between meals, they can eat a fruit or vegetables (baby carrots is a favorite). Sometimes they don't eat much dinner, but tend to eat an apple later. I have no problem with that. If kids are hungry, they will eat. Kids don't starve themselves. Some kids are naturally very light eaters and others seem to eat a ton. I think it's just natural variation. When my kids ask if I will make them something different, I say that home is not the same as a restaurant - you don't get to pick unless you make the dinner. They are now getting old enough to cook and have made a few dinners here and there - a bonus! Enjoy your little one - he'll be helping you cook before you know it!

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids are/ were picky eaters too... I found that they youd eat anything if i put it in a tortilla or pita bread with cheese in it... My 3 oldest kids will eat anything now but i still have to play the tortilla trick on the 3 yr old and the baby doesnt eat solids yet but im sure i will have to trick her too

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L.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my now 14-year-old was tiny, he would eat only grilled cheese, mac-n-cheese & hot dogs & boy, did I feel guilty! I tried "making" him eat what we ate, but he was happy to go without, rather than eat what he didn't like. Then I told him he had to at least try what we were eating, & if he didn't like it, he could have one of his standards.

I also told him that as he grew, he would like more & more things. He believed me, & kept adding new things to his "likes" list. I made these seem like victories & kept a list of things he liked & kept making him try what we ate. As his tastes changed, he changed his mind about previously tried stuff later on. I also found that even if he liked all the ingredients in a recipe, he didn't like it if they were combined & still doesn’t.

I also found that the less I stressed about it, the more he would eat. In other words, I ended the power struggle we were having. This is one of the few areas in their young lives they can have real power over.

I also didn't limit foods to a certain meal. In other words, I gave him yoghurt at lunch, scrambled eggs at dinner, etc. Another thing I noticed is that he prefers strong tasting foods like pickles & sharp cheddar cheese & broccoli over blander stuff.

While you're waiting for your son to come around, you might want to not make him give up grilled cheese cold turkey, but lessen the portion & add other foods to the meal.
Good luck, I know this issue can be scary & frustrating, especially as nutrition is key to development, & do make sure he gets oils & fats at this point for proper brain function.

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A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

E.,
My now 7 year old started out the exact same way! I think she may have eaten less. Milk, Mac & Cheese, Yogurt & Bananas. Wasnt worried at all at first, then it lasted about a year! I did get a little worried but she wasnt sick, seemed happy with her diet etc. She grew out of it! Looks like his favorites include some really good stuff - he will expand is palette. My daughter did when she say other kids eating things or went on playdates. try not to worry, as long as he's happy & healthy that's all that matters.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.,

A couple of things come to mind here and yes you need to mix it up a bit with the food or you could have a big problem later. One of the things that I have seen happen with children that eat nothing but dairy and wheat products is that they are addicted to it. In some children, they could have what is called a 'leaky gut' where food is not digested properly, that the colon does not have the layers it needs, and the proteins of the food pass into the blood which then goes to the brain and actually acts like an opiate which then causes unwanted behaviors and learning problems.

Whew. Nutshell version.

Best to start putting meats/chicken and vegetables there. Mask them in the beginning if you have too. Gradually take the grilled cheese sandwich and incorporate a Galaxy brand cheese that uses rice milk in it and make the bread more 'brown' and graduating to a gluten free one or a good fiber one with flax seed in it.

On another note, my mission is to help people to be their own researcher on vaccines. Your child is at a critical age where they could receive over 30 shots that which some could do more damage than good. The AAP recommended schedule of shots for children is too many, too soon. Do note if your child is sick or has been on antibiotics, NOT to get any shots that day, and never 'make up' shots at a visit, meaning do not do the shots for this visit and add the shots we missed last time as well. Here are sites and books that I always recommend for people to start their research:

www.909shot.org
www.tacanow.org
www.generationrescue.com

The Vaccine Book, by Dr. Robert Sears
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Childhood Vaccinations, by Dr. Stephanie Cave
Evidence of Harm, by David Kirby

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Doesn't sound like anything will be fun as you get him to eat new foods - at least for a few days, but I agree with your concern about him becoming a picky eater. Have you tried cutting down on the snacks maybe an hour or two before your meals so that he is hungry? Also, since you know he likes cheese - maybe try something with that same cheese on it, so the taste is familiar - like veggies with cheese. Also, my daughter will be more inclined to eat if we try to eat food off of her plate, then it becomes fun and she doesn't want us to get her food. That might be helpful.

Either way, I have found they go through stages where they eat a ton or hardly anything and it is frustrating trying to get them to eat regularly. But like all things child-related .... this too shall pass! :)

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

Keep up the variety and yes, stop making him the grilled cheese.

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