DS is 13.5 months and he is a very happy boy! He is also very tactile and loves to feel (along with fabric and jewelry) people's faces. He has kind of turned it into a game at home and at daycare. At home, he does it with the dog. If we don't manage to intervene, he will run at the dog and want to either lay on top of the dog (who is only 14 lbs) or he goes at the dog's face with a toy, in the sense that he's holding a small ball and waves it in the dog's face, laughing hysterically and waiting for the dog to grab it.
At daycare, he will go to the kids who are younger than him (10-12 months) and want to "hit" their faces. It's not a hard hit, more like tapping, but it's invading the kids' space. The teacher says it's not done maliciously, he just loves to touch faces and hair, but of course the younger ones don't like it. If he tries with kids as mobile as him (i.e. walking/running), they of course won't put up with it.
When he tries to do this with us, we remove his hands and show him how it's appropriate to touch faces (softly, more like a stroke) or we will show him to touch a shoulder or arm instead. When he does this with the dog, we do what our dog trainer has suggested, removing either the dog or DS from the situation and distracting one or both of them. We also work with DS and the dog, doing training and other things, so we're doing everything we can with the dog, I think.
However, both at daycare and at home, he definitely thinks it's a game. If we decide to remove DS and not the dog, DS will smile (like he does while we play) and run away in a chase game. When the teacher tells him to stop and goes toward him to remove him, he does the same--smile like he does while playing and run away. He does not get upset or respond to the teacher saying no (which he does respond to in other situations, and will sometimes even cry when he gets upset he can't continue doing what he wants).
So, any suggestions? DS is still too young to do a standard time out (he won't understand), so I need other suggestions. One suggestion I've already heard is to pick him up and hold him in your lap, but not play or read or anything. This is a pseudo-time out, but it still shows the child that you care about him (it also keeps him in one place and seperated from the situation). Has anyone tried this? Any other ideas?
Thanks in advance for any ideas!
Ah, 13 months, gotta love it! It is a game to him, everything is at this point. My only suggestion is to stay consistent. For us, removing our son or the dog from the situation was the only way for a while. We would reinforce our action with words in hopes that he would eventually get it. He did get it after a while and started to understand "nice" touches.
Until he's old enough to have his own self-restraint, you need to be the self-restraint for him. Continue to keep his hands away and eventually he will learn this.
Congratulations on realizing that he's too young to understand timeout. I encourage you to continue to discipline without timeouts. My 6 year old son has never had a timeout and he's well behaved and very aware of right and wrong. They DO get it. You don't get timeouts and still base decisions on right and wrong - your kids will too.
I personally don't like the holding time out. You are either rewarding them, by having them sit with you, or having them see you holding them as punishment. What we did at that age (similar situation only with cats), was to "take the cats away". For X minutes, we would set a timer, he wasn't allowed to play with the cats. We would have him show us hard touches and soft touches on the ottoman and tell him that he can only use soft touches on the cats, and that he couldn't lay on them. It won't be immediate, but should help with some consistency. Make sure that you and daycare are doing the same thing.
Use the word NO firmly with him when he does this and remove his hands. Even though he may do this with you and other family members in an affectionate way sometimes, he runs the risk of poking someone in the eye and doesn't understand he can do this to some people and not others. That's sending a mixed message. It won't hurt him at all to hear "no" and even before his age, they know what it means. He should also understand that you are very serious when you say it.
