We have a 13 month old daughter who still wakes up 2-3 times each night in inconsolable hysterics. My husband goes to her and typically walks her for at least 20 minutes to calm her down, and then another 20 to get her to sleep (or puts her in the crib and rubs her back until she sleeps). We prefer not to use the "crying it out" method (tried this for a couple weeks and it did not feel right for her). The waking up screaming is really bothering us, and her, we think. Could she be having nightmares or terrors that cause her to wake up? She tends to toss and turn all night, and has done this since a few months old. Even as a newborn she kicked out of her swaddle every night and she was very active in utero. For awhile we had her sleeping in bed between us, and she seemed very happy to be there, but still tossed and turned and awoke. It seems she does this whether in bed with us or in the crib. We have tried both for several months at a time. We are now committed to keeping her in the crib. During the day she is a very happy girl, though she does still require a morning and afternoon nap. If anyone has experience with this and suggestions for solutions to make her more comfortable at nighttime please send an email our way. Thank you.
Hi, I would like to thank everyone who responded. We took into consideration everyone's recommendations, with the exception of the one of you who said we "are harming our child" by allowing her to come into our bed.
Here is what has worked, and thanks again for all the advice - we have made sure that our house is cooler at night, about 72 degrees. We also have an instrumental lullaby CD that we play very softly all night (though we read that music can disturb sleep, it seems to be helping right now). If she does wake, we go in so that she knows we are there, but we do not pick her up - we sit in the rocker and sing softly or say "shhhhh". She is usually calming herself. We also purchased a monitor with a camera (an expensive investment, but worth it). We have heard her wake for a few moments, but we can see her in the camera sitting up, and then she lays back down herself, so she is soothing herself to sleep now. We've also reduced her naps in the middle of the day, which someone here had recommended. So, she is much more ready for bed and tired now. We've been keeping a routine of going up to her room around 7:30pm, either taking a bath or reading for awhile, and then laying her down in the crib between 8:15pm and 8:30pm. The main thing is that from 7:30pm on she is focused on the bedtime routine.
The other issue that was going on that I think was most obviously the biggest reason she was awaking, was we took her in to have her ears checked, and sure enough, there was an infection. That is a whole other issue that we've been facing, but even with the discomfort that comes with that, she seems to be sleeping so much better.
Regarding night terrors, GI distress, and growing pains, we've been talking to our pediatrician about all of these things, but he says they are all unlikely with our daughter, since the issue we are having is really in her ears right now. But thank you to those who brought these up, as I may not have thought to asked about a couple of these. It is so important to have open dialogues with other parents and our doctors.
Thank you again everyone for your wonderful advice.
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A.F.
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How wonderful that you got to stay home for 13 months! It is difficult when you have to go back to work and imagine doing it on little sleep. I have a book I recommend for sleep problems: by Shelly K. Weiss "Better Sleep for your Baby & Child". It's actually easy to read, even for a new exhausted parent (speaking from experience). The reasons for sleep disorders are varied, so it's not one solution fits all. My first was colicky, my second wanted to eat all night. Good luck. (: A.
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N.R.
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K.,
It sounds like your daughter is having night terrors. When my son had them, at about the same age as your daughter, I spoke to my pediatrician and she told me we had to "break the sleep cycle". We had to wake him up one hour after he fell asleep, keep him up for just a few minutes and let he go back to sleep, I preferred to rock him back to sleep. We did this for about two weeks and the night terrors stopped. We haven't had a problem since. I hope this helps.
Good Luck
N.
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S.L.
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This really seems like a good topic to bring up with your ped, but here's some thoughts based on my experiences....
I had a couple of my children get night terrors although not as young as your daughter. We found one of the issues was being too hot when they slept. They both love to cuddle under blankets, so I check on them before I turn in to make certain they are not too warm. We also share a story and a happy song to put us into a happy sleep mood. Unfortunately, night terrors do not have a time table. Kids outgrow them, but in their own time.
Other reasons to consider are reactions to medication (this may not apply to your daughter), eating to soon before bed, or amount of nap time (she may need to nap less to be more tired at night).
I highly recommend speaking with your pediatrician, so they can address the specifics to properly help you come up with a solution.
Good luck!
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C.W.
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Hi Kristen- I think all babies are restless sleepers. They also wake up several times a night. They eventually learn how to self-soothe themselves back to sleep. There may be several things going on, like temperature issues in her room, reflux, diet changes, wet diaper, teething, etc. My doc said that many go through an intense separation anxiety at this age and this causes night wakings. We have a 13 month old and find that the waking in the night usually either means he is too wet to sleep comforatbly or a tooth is coming through (this could take weeks and he is unconsolable). Does she have anything to soothe her, like a binky or a blankie? I would introduce a lovey somehow, you sleep with it first so it has your sent on it. Good luck to you.
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A.G.
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wow, that sound kinda tough. How is she during nap time? does she also fuss in her sleep? What about any GI distress? Curious about it, please follow up
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M.S.
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you may want to try a radio or a fan for her. Sometime that will help. best of luck
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C.C.
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I have a 16 month old girl that still woke up several months ago. I did not like the crying it out method either, so I changed it to work for us. While I still let her cry it out, I stayed in the room. I would mostly stay quiet, but would say things like "shhhh, it's ok, you need to go night night" or "calm down, you're ok" in a soft, calm voice. It only took a few nights of doing this to get her to go to sleep on her own and once she knows she can go to sleep on her own, she puts herself back to sleep. She rarely wakes up during the night now and I put her to sleep awake and smiling each night. It's an amazing transformation! Good luck!
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S.A.
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My son starting waking up in the night again at that age. We finally took him to his Doc and explained the issue and they said he was having growing pains. I was surprised because I didn't think the pains really started happening until they were 3 or 4. Is your daughter active, does she grab or hold her legs when she wakes up? The doc's said that they may have more leg pain when they have really active days. This may not be your issue at all, but i thought it was worth a mention. But it it is, the recommendation was to give then a bit of pain medicine and message and keep your hands on there legs until the meds kicked in.
