13-Month-old Throwing Food and Not eating--HELP!

Updated on July 24, 2009
K.M. asks from Woodstock, VA
10 answers

My little girl will be 13-months-old in a few days. Ever since we started on finger foods (at around 9 months or so), some has gotten thrown on the floor, of course. She used to throw food on the floor after she'd eaten a good meal. We knew she was done, and it wasn't a problem--we'd tell her, "No Throwing." and take the tray away.

Starting a couple of weeks ago though, she eats hardly anything (seriously, she might eat one or two bites)--sometimes she doesn't even try her food--before she starts throwing it on the floor. I've tried a very firm "No!" (which sometimes makes her cry) and giving her 3 chances before taking the tray away--meal over. I've tried very calmly saying "No, we don't throw food" for 3 chances, then taking the tray away and feeding her piece by piece out of my hand (she might eat one or two more bites that way before the throwing starts again). I've tried taking the tray away for a few minutes, then giving her another chance--food immediately goes back on the floor. It's gotten to the point that after meals and snacks, I'm so frazzled by dinner that I want to cry. She's basically getting milk, yogurt and applesauce (which I feed her from a spoon), and maybe 5 other bites of food a day. She's a pretty lean baby anyway, so I hate that she's not eating. I don't want to go back to baby food--she hasn't had any for months, and I don't think she'd like it anyway.

So I'm looking for detailed advice before I tear my hair out. How have you broken a 1-year-old of this habit while still making sure they get enough to eat? How long did it take you to get them over this? How have you handled it without making it a major battle or making food a big issue? I'm not looking for perfection or no throwing at all, I just want her to eat a decent meal before the food gets thrown! Help!

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L.W.

answers from Norfolk on

try the distraction method. IE if you give her cereal and fruit (spoon fed) give her an empty plate and spoon. Also, trading out foods helps. My 11 month old will start throwing food on the floor and I can switch her out to something else (like a whole banana) and she'll like to bite into it.

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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

My son did the same thing for a little while and since he's also very slender I hated to take the food away, nothing helped until I went back to if he threw any food then he was done, period. I didn't give any warnings, the countless times I had done it before was enough of a warning, I just took it away and he was not allowed snacks afterward either, I had to really schedule food, even snacks for a little while, so that he knew that meal time was his only chance to eat for a while and bad manners would not be tolerated. It didn't take very long at all, a couple of days or so and he never did it again.
We even go to restaurants and he is always the best behaved boy there, there is no fighting, arguing, cajoling or anything else, if he acts up we leave or if the food has already come then we take turns sitting in the car with him, I've only ever had to do that twice with him though and only left once. I've found that this tactic works best in most situations, including at the grocery store, it's really hard to leave a cart of groceries when you really need them but it only takes once or twice and the issue is over rather then countless times of trying to reason with or bribe your child into behaving and LOTS of embarrassment.
I hope this helps.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

What you do now sets the stage for so much discipline later, especially about meals. I have a five year old and an almost 18 month old. I know it's hard, but all you really can do is offer healthy food and let them decide ot eat or not. A few tips,,.

Hold off on giving her a drink. IF she fills up on milk or water, she won't be hungry enough to eat.

If food goes on the floor, say "NO!" and take it away. Get her out, have her pick it up, put her back, have her say "Sorry." No warnings at this age. If you ever sense anything is becoming a game, just stop and take her out of the high chair.

Also, if you know she is going to throw, just give her the food. You feed her one piece at a time. I bet if you did that for three days, she would have forgotten all about the throwing game.

My 18 month old daughter does not like whole vegetables right now. So I still offer veggie purees. She likes to feed herself with a spoon. It's quite messy but it gets the food in. I make my own purees, so it's not as thin and watery as jar food. Her trick, however, is to spill the food - drip, drip, drip, giggle. It's a game, and I just take her out and say "No eating if you spill." She runs off and 10 minutes later wants to eat, so we try again.

You are right - don't make it a battle. I have a couple of friends who cater to their children, making seperate meals and letting their kids say "no." Or in contrast I have friends who force their kids to clean their plates. Their kids, now 4-5 are terrors and not just about food. One of my friends takes her daughter to McDonalds once a week "so she eats some protein!!!!!"

In our house, I never force my child to eat anything. But they always gets a mix of protein and green and orange veggies at dinner. They eat what they eat. Most night fruit is for dessert, but there are no sweets or fruit if the veggies don't get eaten fully. With the baby "fully" means she eats one or two peices nicely. I serve small portions, so its doable and not asking too much. I don't set up a battle. You may already of heard this but "This is not a restaurant, and I am not a short order cook." I know your daughter is only a year old but seriously you are starting habits NOW! I promise she can learn and be manipulative very quickly and in six months you will have real problems!

You can try a few different things. First, you could give her one plate with a small bit of everything, and justvlet her eat what she wants. No pressure. Second, you could give her her least favorites - veggies, meat, whatever. While she is "eating" prepare the second course of whatvshe does like. This way, if she eats some veggies, she gets a reward of whatvshe likes. Of course, she may hold out on you. Third, you control the food. Have a bowl of veggies and a bowl of yogurt. Alternate spoonfuls and you control the spoon for as long as she lets you. You may have to sneak in a bite of the veggies, and qikcly sneak in the yogurt before she screams and spits it out.

Lastly, use food variety. For isntance, if she doesn't like meat, whole grain speghetti is a great alternative for protein and tomato sauce has a lot of vitamin C. Kids love it. Further, sauces are great for hiding veggies. I am not above sneaking in things!!!

Meals can be rough, and once you find something that works, she will change, you'll need to do something new. But just be persistent. Imagine the three year old you want her to be - sitting straight up, napkin in lap, eating broccoli, fish, etc. without spilling a drop. Set high expectations early, and you can get there at least some of the time :)

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi

Although it looks to you that she is not eating much you have to remember that her stomach is tiny and if she is having milk , yogurts , applesauce and then the few bites of other things she is eating. For them to throw there food is perfectly normal , just carry on as you are & don't make the mistake of making her a different meal as you will just end up as a short order cook! Babies won't starve themselves , and she will come out of this stage so just hang in there.

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

Any chance she is getting her 2 yo molars early? I know my son only wants the bottle and soft foods (your mentioning she is only eating yogurt, etc. made me think of this) when he is teething. Worth a mouth check!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think you have good advice already. I was just going to add that maybe your daughter is getting too much milk for this age. I didn't realize right away that when weaning from breast milk (or formula), you don't substitute cow's milk ounce for ounce. They only need 15-26 ounces a day. Maybe milk is filling her up? What about snacks? I agree that cutting down on snacks during the day might allow her to be hungrier at meal time. Last comment: attitude. For a while when my son was doing this a lot, I felt exasperated and let it show. Now I realize that meal time should be happy and you can demonstrate that eating is fun by eating yourself at the same time. No coercion, just offering. Not to say that you should allow the throwing, but just don't act too angry...I read that really using a bored, consistent tone is better. "No throwing food." and get her out and have her pick it up and the meal is done. I think she'll grow out of this phase soon. Good luck!

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E.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Get a floor mat, a clear shower curtain works well. Rmember, your stomach is about the size of your fist, look at her fist. AS long as she gets food, she's fine. Children know when they are full, she won't starve herself. This period does end in a bit, be patient.

They go thru phases, throughout life. There are weeks, months even years when they eat more- I have a 13 yo who inhales food and wants more- or less - my 6 yo snacks from lunch on and eats 3 to 10 bites of dinner and is done(when she eats at all).

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Ugh! My son did that! It stinks! He grew out of it, but it drove me batty!

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I think every mother has gone through this at one time or another. I actually thought about putting the high chair in the shower and feeding my son there - much easier clean up all the way around. I thought about feeding out on the deck too with a hose nearby. She might be in between growth spurts and just doesn't need a lot of food right now. And every baby tests you to see how far they can push their limits. Give her small amounts of healthy food and when the throwing starts, the meal is over. She'll eat when she's hungry. Why don't you do a food diary of everything she eats over the course of a week. You'll have a better idea if she's getting enough food or not, and you'll have something you can talk to the Dr about at the next checkup.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Is she teething? My sons both did this when they were teething. Check it out. If so, a little orajel before meals might help. Good luck!

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