12 Week Old Will Not Sleep in Bassinet

Updated on August 12, 2007
C.R. asks from Porter Ranch, CA
14 answers

I need some help..For the past 5 nights, my daughter will not sleep in her pack/pay in our room. She would sleep there after I b/f her from 9p-2a, wakeup for a feeding and I would then put her down from 2:45a-6am. But lately, once I put her in her pack/pay, she is up after an hour. I then try to pat her little back and shush her ..but then I bring her into bed with me. The other problem is, she has to be on my breast all night. My body is so twisted because I have to position myself to feed her. She will not fall asleep on her back.

My husband has now started sleeping in the livingroom..which I miss him dearly. More advice..She will onl nap during the day in her swing, while it is moving. I have tried countless times to put her down in her pack/play and crib for her naps, but she will awaken after 30 minutes r shorter. I will be taking her to her caretaker in Oct and I want to make sure she is napping on her back, not the aswing.

Any advice and/or help would be appreciated....Plus, she does not take the pacifier...Have tried...

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So What Happened?

Well..I did not want to try anything new because we were going to go to Hemet for 2 nights...my husband and I were baptizing a friend's baby boy. Being that we were staying for 2 nights at their home...I decided I would try the advice given to me til we got home oon Sat night.

Well..so far everything has been going good so far. My sister advised me on the Ferber method, (the crying it method..) and we stuck to our teeth sat night. We put her down in her crib after a breastfeeding and she was placed down dorwsy, not fully asleep. She cried nonetheless...and cried. I was holding tears back hearing her cry. But the crying turned to whimpers..and then they stopped..cold turkey. We could not believe it. She was asleep in her crib. She slept from 10:30p til 1:30a (feeding), then from 2:15 to 5:30 fedding again, and then from 5:50a-7a...where my husband then got up with her...

The next nght...I placed her down again after breastfeeding...drowsy..she whimpered in her crib after five minutes of being in there. She whimpered for 3 minutes and then again stopped. She was asleep from 8:55p til 4:30a. I could not believe it. I woke up every 2 hours...just to check on her and to pump at 2:20a. It was the best sleep I have gotten in the 3 months she has been in my life.
At 4:30a, I feed her 5 ounces of expressed breastmilk in a bottle. She went down from 5:45a til 9a!!! The naps have been good..no crying..just placing her down in her crib when she is drowsy after a feeding...but the naps have been only 45 minutes-1 hour. but I will take that for now. She is doing great and i am a much happier person. I know things will change and her sleeping will also but just o know that she can sleep in her crib and the Ferber method was only really used for one night.

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

My son (born 19 months ago) was the same way. He loved motion and had trouble sleeping without it. What worked for us was the carseat. We put him in his carseat, rocked him to sleep and then put the carseat inside the bassinet. We then slowly transitioned him back to his crib and he was sleeping on his back again by 5 months.

Good luck, things will improve I promise!

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M.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

One thing I've learned about my 4 yo and 18 mo is that all babies/kids are different and not all things work on all children. You can only test different theories and hopefully run across one that works for your little one. Both my children were stomach sleepers and absolutely refused to sleep any other way. I was so paranoid the first time I let my first sleep that way (I got no sleep - kept checking her breathing) but she and her younger sister were both over 8 1/2 pounds at birth and they were holding their necks up at birth so my doctor said as long as they could turn their heads from side to side while on their stomachs the chances of SIDS happening was slim to none. The first night I put them on their stomachs, they have been sleeping through the night ever since. And they have been in their own cribs since 8 weeks old. I would never suggest sleeping with them. The chances of rolling onto them and the habit it forms, will be hard to break as they get older. Better to just start them out in the crib from the moment they are too big for the bassinet. And as far as swing sleeping at home daycares or large facilities, its against the law. I run a small home daycare and the licensing department will not allow baby swings, walkers or bouncers on the premises. The Dept. fears daycare providers relying too much on this equipment and leaving children in them for hours on end. Good luck finding what works for your little girl. And both my girls started on rice cereal at 4 months and neither one is obese, has allergies, etc. Its all about genetics and feeding your children the right foods from the start.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

As babies develop, they change and their sleeping patterns will change too. And when they get to teething too, their sleeping habits may change. Each baby is different. They are still getting used to their own patterns too. Also, when they have growth spurts, they feed/nurse more. I breastfed my girl too, and she always wanted to be attached to me. It was hard, but they change. You should try to use a 'Boppy pillow' to nurse her... sitting in a chair, use the boppy pillow and it's so much easier and more comfortable. I only nursed my girl this way, it was 'our' routine. Then it got her into a routine for sleep too, and she knew what to expect. YOu can find the Boppy pillow in any baby store or online. It's a GREAT thing. As for pacifiers... each baby is different. My girl never liked it. My infant now, he likes it...but we tried different styles... and HE finally gravitated toward a certain one. And he will only use this pacifier.It was his choice. We never pushed the pacifier on him. You may try this pacifier, which my baby loves. It's called "Gerber Soft Center" pacifier. It's hard to find in stores... but online I got some from E-Bay: http://search.ebay.com/gerber-soft-center-pacifier_W0QQ_t...
It's very popular and many parents say this is the only pacifier their baby liked. Remember though, some babies don't like pacifiers. My girl never used them, nor her fingers. It was just her personality. Getting a baby to sleep, and nursing is arduous work... breastfed babies do feed more. I went through that too, and my Hubby slept in the living room too. Each baby's personality is different though.. my girl was more clingy, my boy is more independent and after nursing he will just put himself to sleep. BUT...no matter what CONSISTENCY is the key, and try to have a routine. Or the baby will run you ragged. Breastfed babies feed on demand... and that is just what they do, and what us Mommies do although it's tiring. BUT... your baby is just 12 weeks old... DO NOT feed solids yet, nor cereal. Their body is STILL developing and their organs too... and their digestive system is still developing as well. It is not prepared to be taking in solids, despite the thought that it will get them to sleep better. This is not always true. 6 months or older is the proper age to start solids. IF, IF your baby is needing more feedings or calories....OR is not growing at an appropriate rate... THEN, you may have to "supplement" with Formula. AGAIN, ASK YOU PEDIATRICIAN FIRST. Do not just do it with guess work. You must tell your doctor what is going on and THEN see if you need supplemental feedings. Some babies are hungrier than others, and this depends on their intake whether is is enough or not. Check with the Pediatrician. *another thing to try... my baby boy has a 'transition' object (a stuffed cow) that he sleeps with too, and he likes to hug it when he sleeps. It comforts him. ANd he always had to have it to sleep. And it makes it easier for me! :)
Good Luck and take care...
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

D.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughters were both like that in the beginning and what I did was put a pillow in their pack and play and placed a blanket on top of it and they both slept like babies.... I think the surface of the playpen was harder than they'd like it to be and therefore once I added more cushion, they were just fine.

I think everything I say here will totally go against everything that the doctors say now but both of my daughters were put on their stomachs after their cords fell off and I never had a problem with them sleeping through the night. And when my second daughter would not sleep for long, I added the cereal in her bottles and she slept for hours with no interruptions. I am not sure what to advise about the pacifiers because both my girls took to them right away.

Sometimes in these situations, you have to do what works for you instead of what the books say to do. As long as it's not harmful for your child, sometimes you have to alter what doctors and magazines say and do what works for you guys because in the end, you are the one who has to get up when she cries and sleep in pain because you have to breastfeed. Not any of those doctors....

everything that you've tried that doesn't seem to be working now, try something different and see how she takes to that. Like if she used to sleep on her back and now she wont, try her stomach for a week and see if that works better. Are you substituting the breast with a bottle? If so add a teaspoon of cereal so she will sleep longer and purchase a body pillow for you when you have to feed her for extended periods of time at night.

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C.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Mom:
Try letting her suck on your little finger knuckle. Make sure it smells like you, not like the garlic you chopped earlier. Rub it with your breast milk, for example.
She is still quite young and it is normal and very very healthy to be lying next to mom. Do not let anyone convince you to stop nursing or to start using a bottle. This is not the answer. I am a mother of 3. My last who is now 4 was the most difficult, and my husband frankly had a bad year, her first year of life. But he is fine. He is an adult, and not as needy as your new baby. She must be your priority. Let her short naps be okay. There is not a "suppose to" Take your cat naps whenever you can. Try to postpone caretaker for longer. Your baby is not going to be ready. This a beautiful opportunity for you to start using the laws of attraction to change your reality. What is best for the baby is going to be best for you. You are not separate. Be creative and positive in thinking of dazzling ways you can keep your baby with you, and still make ends meet financially. There are always other options! You are an amazing creative being. Do not confine yourself to other's expectations! Be brave Mom!

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J.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here's the things NO ONE told me until MUCH later.
One: your breastmilk will go through transitions MULTIPULE times this year. about every 2-3 months (after real milk starts, not colustrum or however it's spelled). Mine changed the first time at 9 weeks, and my son FREAKED when I tried to nurse him. He had to RE-adjust to a different milk. it chnged again when he was about 5 months, 8 month, 10 months and a year. Each time he'd wake a little more often until he got use to the new milk.
Two: breast fed babies ARE hungery more often, EVEN in the middle of the night. The calories they're getting are typically lower than formula fed babies, AND the body processes the milk MUCH more efficently than formula; therefore, her body can burn more milk calories than formula. If she's waking up in the middle of the night hungry, SHE IS! Once she starts solids, if she's still waking up at 2 am, NURSE her. Then the next night be sure to feed her a little more cereal RIGHT BEFORE you nurse her to sleep. this will help her last a little longer.
Three: Talk to her ped about starting rice cereal. This is usually the first "food" peds okay. My son started solids somewhere around 10 weeks because he was nursing around 180 minutes- A DAY! My ped said that he was OBVIOUSLY not getting enough calories that way and was constantly hungry. Once he started eating rice cereal he did MUCH better at night. DO NOT START SOLIDS WITHOUT TALKING TO YOUR PED! Your ped may have reasons to not start your child before 6 months. (I.e. Falimy allergies, premature, health issue...)
Four: Babies do not NATURALLY take pacifiers. They must be TAUGHT to want them. Their thumb/fingers on the other hand are learned by instinct. If you want her to take a paci, you will have to give it to her and hold her with it in her mouth. Maybe nurse her to sleep, than replace your breast with the paci after she's asleep.

I know there's a lot of info here, but I hope it helps you find the rest that all 3 of you need. ~J.

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

At that age, I think one 5-hour stretch is as close as you can expect to sleeping through the night. You could try going to sleep at the same time as your daughter to be sure you get enough rest. For me, it was sometimes tough to fall asleep so early, so instead I always woke my boys up to nurse around 10:30 or 11:00, so that their longer period of sleep would coincide with mine.

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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Breast fed babies do wake up more at night for nursings. Have you tried laying down with her in your bed? You both may be able to get more rest that way. If she sleeps in the swing during the day at home, I'm sure your caregiver will put her to sleep in the swing as well. Another way is to keep unlatching her and laying her down when she is almost asleep so she gets used to laying down on her back. If she cry's pick her back up and try again. Check out Elizabeth Pantley's 'No-cry sleep solution'. I would also wake my baby during the day to feed her every 2 hours so that she would get used to being more awake during the day, so she would sleep a bit longer at night.

And PLEASE- NO SOLIDS BEFORE 6 MONTHS!!! only breastmilk!! Giving solids early is connected with obesity, allergies, illneses, anemia, etc etc!! Please check out http://www.kellymom.com/ for ALL breastfeeding questions and answers on sleep, BF, milk supply, and starting solids.

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T.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi - I breastfed all 3 of my children. Breastfed babies are more hungry and feed more often, as many others moms have said. At 3 months old, she really should be on rice cereal... She probably isn't getting full, so that is why she wakes up... Also, she is staying awake to have time with you. She must feel like she doesn't have enough time with you.

Another thought is pump your breastmilk and have your spouse feed her a bottle occasssionally. My daughter wouldn't go down at night, till her dad held her, fed her or rubbed her head, as I was feeding. Little girls need their daddy.

However, if you get her to go to sleep in a swing, I have to agree, the daycare provider you will be using will do the same if she has as swing.

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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi C.,
I am recommending a book for you to read it is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" there are some great tips on helping your child to sleep. When our daughter was that little we relied a lot on the mommy bear, it is a bear that makes womb sounds. It seemed to help Julia sleep when she was in her cradle. Also, there were plenty of times that we spent a lot of time in the rocking chair. Also, one more stategy...try swaddling her tightly when you put her in her bed. She may be experiencing the falling feeling when you are putting her in her bed.. Since she is so little and new her only real experience is from the womb and she was snugglie in there. Check out the DVD(or book) The Happiest Baby on the Block. I am still breastfeeding but I found that when Julia was that little she wanted to suck and quite frankly my breasts were paying the price so we introduced the pacifier. She really liked it for the first 3 months and then she was done with it...if she doesn't like it you may have to try a different kind. With the swaddling and the pacifier she was one happy camper.....good luck!

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K.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I used the bassinet for 3 months next to my bed, then started putting her in the crib in her room. Have you tried to position her on her side. My baby slept better that way. I started by putting here in the crib for naps, then after a week or so, put her down in the crib at night - she took to it well. She rarely ever slept much during the day, even as a tiny infant, but the swing would help. I even put her in it at night sometimes in those early weeks. Do you have a bouncy chair? Sometimes those are more comfortable for the babies as they are on a slight angle. If she sleeps in that, put that in the crib for a while and then transition her to just the crib. Get one that has a quiet vibrator like the Oceans one by Fisher Price. I don't believe in the "crying it out" method, but maybe if you let her fuss for just a few minutes, she may soothe herself to sleep eventually. I know it's hard, the hardest thing ever - getting those babies to sleep, so you can sleep. It will get better and easier, it's always toughest the first 6 to 8 months. My back was twisted for months due to the BF. It get's easier, I promise! Good luck.

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi C.,
I Really feel for you! My daughter did the same thing. She cried all the time, but her doctor said nothing was wrong with her. She didn't like to sleep on her back. When I told her doctor I was going to let her sleep on her tummy she didn't argue. She said she could not recommend that I did, But she raised 4 kids and all but the last one slept on their tummys. She said if no one is getting any sleep and it works, so be it. I know some people thought I was crazy, but it worked. We went to BabiesRUs and bought a sensor pad to put under her mattress. If she stopped breathing an alarm went off! Within about 1 week she was sleeping through the night, just a couple of days before she turned 3 mos. She is 5 today and will start kindergarden next month. I was 38 and it took 4 yrs to get pregnant. But I couldn't ask for a better child. She is an incredible little person and I thank God everyday for such a Gift!

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Oh nooooooooo!!! This is an issue that is better resolved sooner than later. With tiny babies, follow this rule: 1. Eat 2. Play 3. Sleep. Don't let her fall asleep while she eats, because she won't finish her meal and then she'll be hungry sooner. Put her on a schedule. Feeding every 3 hours worked well for my 2 kids. Feed her well, (keep her awake by whatever means necessary) then play for a while then encourage her to sleep by putting her down. When it is 3 hours after you have fed her, feed her again (wake her up if necessary during the day - not at night). My kids would cry for food, and I would tell them "10 more minutes, honey!!" and when it was time, I'd feed them. Read the book "Baby Wise" which will give you more info, I'm just giving you the synopsis. The exception to the eat/play/sleep rule is the last feeding of the day, when you can feed them and put them right down.

It actually sounds pretty mean and I never would have approached life in this way, but I had to return to work after my 1st baby was 9 weeks old, and I knew we'd both die unless we got some structure to our lives. It worked so well with #1 that I did it again with #2, even though I was staying at home. Some moms I know just feed their babies whenever they cry, but introducing the schedule made sense to me, so I could have control over the schedule of my day. The book really does explain it better, but it does require discipline, especially when first adopting the system (don't give in to the cries!!!) You may need some reinforcements to help you, too (dad, grandma, etc). But after the first week or so, you and your child will be sleeping better and eating better and controlling your life more.

Good luck!!

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am so glad that someone mentioned Kellymom.com There's also la lehce league, where you can get personal help from other moms, and more importantly a lactation constultant!!! Doctor's even pediatricans don't know everything. Plus depending on your doctor's age and location of school, religious and even personal background he doesn't know a lot about breastfeeding. Don't give anything at this age other then breastmilk. Contact a lactation consultant. You'll have to pay for this, or join la leche league for $40 a year and you can talk to one over the phone, plus go to monthly / weekly meetings (depending on your location).
Why is she not sleeping? Do you rock her to sleep and then put her down. Is she crying/ screaming/ or fussing? Even at this age it's ok to let her cry a little bit. In fact it's healthy to let her self soothe. My daughter SCREAMS at me whenever I put her down and I've used the tough love approach, but it only lasts a couple of minutes (sometimes 20), and she sleeps by herself. But it never fails, she is so demanding and I know there is nothing wrong, she just wants to be with me and play. Her bed is boring :)
12 weeks old is way too early to be sleeping through the night especially as a breastfed baby. They do tend to wake up more often, but tend to be healtheir. Remember the benefits of breastfeeding, and remember the there are so few drawbacks. My daughter is seven months old and I can leave the house with a diaper and a wipe and be good for awhile. Find professional help and remember your doctor isn't always the professional in this regard!!! Nor us mommys on the web :0

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