HELP!! I have a 12 month old that is already throwing temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. Everyone keeps telling me "this is normal" but I'm afraid it'll get worse before better. He started showing signs of this around 10 months. He walked at 10 months so he started hearing "no" alot then because he was getting into everything. I have noticed over the past couple of weeks he is responding now to "no" or the other I use is "walk away" when he is doing something he's not suposed to be doing (yeah!!!!). However, yesterday we were at a play place (My Gym in Frisco) & he was doing really well. Well, towards the end, everyone was playing on their own & he had these little music bells. When it was time to clean up & I took them from him (I told him before hand what I was about to do & this is like his 4th time there) he threw a huge fit. I couldn't get him to stop & we ended up having to leave. He is an only child & I stay at home with him. At home, normally he doesn't freak out like that when I take something from him. Are there any suggestions on how I can help this behavior because I've heard it can only get worse the older he gets.
I would not worry at all. I think he is really smart, and that is the only way to express what he wants. When he starts talking thats when all this will end, becasuse he will be able to express what he feels. Love him a lot and do not worry.
When he gets that upset, just focus his attention to something else.
Yeah, totally normal!
Because he is so young, you might try using "no" less and try diverting him instead. Pick your battles because he's really young and doesn't understand things so in frustration he throws fits. Check out the book and dvd -- Happiest Toddler on the Block. It explains his behavior and offers techniques to work with him. It really helped us.
I understand what you are goin thru. I have two boys and have been thru the same thing, twice. Both boys walked early also and I had to keep things out of reach and had to say "no" alot. The thing I found that worked best was not just saying "no" but saying something else like "That's Mama's and you can't play with that. Here, this is yours." And give him a toy that you know he loves or make up a new toy with items around the house. An example would be a large pot and a wooden spoon. Show him how to stir with some blocks in the pot or how to bang on the pot.
Redirection helps those temper tantrums to decrease. They never really go away until....well...my son's at 8 and 12 still try a tantrum to get their way. Each age you learn a new skill on how to deal.
I hope I have helped.
He sounds perfectly normal to me. Just stick with it, don't lose your patience and be consistent. When my oldest was 1, he hated to come inside after playing. He would throw a huge fit and scream and cry and kick. Once he even slapped my husband in the face. Thank God my husband is very patient and loving and didn't lose his temper and handled the situation like a pro. That same little boy is now 4 and is so sweet and respectful and hardly ever throws a fit about anything unless very tired and pushed past his limit. I couldn't ask for a sweeter child. So, don't worry, I'm sure your son will turn out just as sweet with your guidance. Good luck!
Love and Logic parenting!! www.loveandlogic.com
There are easier ways to parent than having to say NO all the time! I have already started using it on my 10 month old. It is used by the Keller school system. Keller Church of Christ teaches the class every so often, check their website. I drove from Flower Mound to take it, it wasn't expensive and totally worth it!
A certain number of tantrums in a given day is totally normal. It may increase if he is teething or tired... He is just about reaching a good age to begin time-outs for discipline since they really don't understand spanking or a lot of words yet. Unfortunately, time-outs do not work with tantrums. I've found that if the tantrum is at home, the most effective response is for me to walk away for a minute and then re-direct attention. If their behavior is not getting a big reaction from you, they seem to lose interest quickly... There is no magic answer, we just can't always control them and kids are different but this has worked pretty well for me. Good luck.
mine is the same age and is doing close to the same thing, maybe it is just a phase? mine doesn't really scream too much but does get rather dramatic at home and throws his head to the floor crying. I just ignore it for a bit and then go back, pick him up, and remove him from the situation. He knows what he is doing because he will drop something and look at us and shake his head "no". As long as his attitude is not DEFIANT, then I am not too worried about it. We never give him what he wants when he is pitching the fit, so i can't see that he is gaining anything from it other than expressing himself in some way. I have heard too it is just a phase...just to let you know you aren't alone!
Hi K.,
I really like the Love and Logic parent training. They recommend using the techniques from early on to set limits and boundaries is a clear and loving way, so kids know what to expect.
At music class, they always have the kids put the bells away themselves, rather than parents taking them from them. They use a little song "Instruments Away, Instruments Away". He may have responded better if you asked him to put them back in the bin and showed him where they go. Just a thought about "taking things away." Gives him the sense of being a "helper", rather than you "taking" from him. As far as the use of "no", a well baby proofed house and some strategically located gates helped us minimize the need for lots of "no, no, no" at such a young age.
Incidentally, Love and Logic doesn't recommend using the word "no" very much. They have other approaches. Check it out!
Good luck.
Watch him closely to ensure he meets milestones. Problems transitioning, language delay, not pointing, problems sleeping, poop problems are signs with which you should be concerned. You may just have a strong-willed child however.
You mentioned that he started walking at 10 months so he has heard the word "no" a lot. One thing that worked well for me was making sure that there was very little that I would have to tell my daughter "no" to so that she did not hear it all the time. You will drive yourself crazy trying to keep your child away from things at this age, it is better to remove the temptation. As far as the temper tantrum is concerned it is normal. The "terrible twos" start in the 2nd year of life, not after they turn 2. His tantrums happen because he knows a lot more about what is going on around him but cannot communicate it. Redirection, distraction and/or ignoring seem to help. Someone else said something about a "strong willed child." Try not to label him so early, he might just be a toddler who can't communicate very well and wants things his way, it is very common. Good luck! As with most phases, this will probably pass relatively quickly.
You've got my sympathy! My 14 month-old throws tantrums, too (and also started at around 10 months). Mainly, I just try to keep in good humor about it. I'll be checking your responses for advice too! :-)
Its just totally normal. :) Sorry! My 2 1/2 year old daughter started doing lots of defiant things around that age. And it did get worse, sort of. There were different stages of bad behavior. She started hitting and biting soon after 1 year old. And the tantrums (throwing self on floor and just such a fit) lasted for months. Her last thing was running away from me (in stores, parking lots, etc) and being defiant that way. But just know that its normal and that you're not alone! I had problems comparing my daughter to other people's toddlers and thought I must be a bad mom or something since my child acted out a lot. But I think temperment has a lot to do with it too. She's just independent and very strong willed, where some other kids are just more compliant and docile by nature. Know that you're a great mom and that we understand! Some days you feel like all you do is punish and correct and redirect, but hang in there!
